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Itchy! So! Itchy!

post #1 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:06pm
Thread Starter 
I just finished reading an article about itching (job-related. No, really.). It's in the June 30, 2008 issue of The New Yorker. I'm going to wreck the best (read: most soul-murderingly horrifying) part here, but the rest is really interesting, esp. if you're one of them sciencey types. Phantom limbs, cognition, and rare skin disorders, oh my!

Quote:
Originally Posted by The New Yorker
One morning, after she was awakened by her bedside alarm, she sat up and, she recalled, “this fluid came down my face, this greenish liquid.” She pressed a square of gauze to her head and went to see her doctor again. M. showed the doctor the fluid on the dressing. The doctor looked closely at the wound. She shined a light on it and in M.’s eyes. Then she walked out of the room and called an ambulance. Only in the Emergency Department at Massachusetts General Hospital, after the doctors started swarming, and one told her she needed surgery now, did M. learn what had happened. She had scratched through her skull during the night—and all the way into her brain.
Something about that little tidbit just screamed "CHUD" at me. ::shrugs::
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post #2 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:08pm
Somewhere there's an EC comics story that already addressed this. Green fluid eh? Check to see if Lovecraft was involved.
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post #3 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:09pm
I'm sure she gave the doctors a piece of her mind.





Fuck you, it was only a matter of time. Heh.
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post #4 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:11pm
Gonna think twice before i scratch my balls from now on.
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post #5 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:13pm
What the...what kind of nails did this woman have?
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post #6 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:18pm
The bigger question is what kind of skull does she have!
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post #7 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
The bigger question is what kind of skull does she have!
Not to mention immunity to pain.
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post #8 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Gonna think twice before i scratch my balls from now on.
Oh yeah good luck trying to stop from doing that. Just don't sratch them while wearing Freddy Kruger's glove.
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post #9 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:25pm
Question: Did M. look anything like this?
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post #10 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:30pm
That's scary as hell. I have a somewhat similar, but nowhere near as insane, thing I do. Once or twice a week I'll scratch my arm pit and surrounding area during my sleep, and I won't notice until I get out of the shower in the morning and put on deodorant and realize it's like acid on my skin. I'll then notice my skin is damn near blood red, and it's obvious I had been itching it all night. It drives me nuts.
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post #11 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Gonna think twice before i scratch my balls from now on.
Tati wins this thread.
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post #12 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:35pm
Yet another case to not stop biting my nails. It's like you people want me to keep doing it.
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post #13 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
That's scary as hell. I have a somewhat similar, but nowhere near as insane, thing I do. Once or twice a week I'll scratch my arm pit and surrounding area during my sleep, and I won't notice until I get out of the shower in the morning and put on deodorant and realize it's like acid on my skin. I'll then notice my skin is damn near blood red, and it's obvious I had been itching it all night. It drives me nuts.

Yep. I've done that. Totally sucks.
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post #14 of 43
7/30/08 at 3:45pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
Not to mention immunity to pain.
Well, see, that was the problem - a patch of skin on her skull was almost completely numb due to a bout of shingles. She couldn't feel hot, cold, touch, or pain. But she could still feel itchy. Boy, could she feel itchy.
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post #15 of 43
7/30/08 at 5:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Well, see, that was the problem - a patch of skin on her skull was almost completely numb due to a bout of shingles. She couldn't feel hot, cold, touch, or pain. But she could still feel itchy. Boy, could she feel itchy.
Yeah, but couldn't she feel muscle, bone, sinew, blood, etc. on her finger as she's scratching? Sooner or later, her finger was going to get moist and red. You'd think she'd stop a sec and say "That's peculiar. Maybe I should look in a mirror and see what's up."
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post #16 of 43
7/30/08 at 5:52pm
Thread Starter 
She was asleep. And I'm wearing boxing gloves to bed tonight.
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post #17 of 43
7/30/08 at 5:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
She was asleep. And I'm wearing boxing gloves to bed tonight.
DaveB's certainly in for a surprise tonight!
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post #18 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:00pm
Reminds me of Massive Head Wound Harry
http://video.google.com/videosearch?...1&sa=N&tab=wv#
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post #19 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:02pm
Best part was when the dog starting to eat the wound.

"Oh maybe I should lie down."
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post #20 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:06pm
This sounds like an urban legend. How the fuck do you scratch through skull?
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post #21 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:10pm
Thread Starter 
I don't think The New Yorker medical section is in the business of publishing urban legends. Maybe skulls aren't as thick as we think they are?
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post #22 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:11pm
Maybe she scratched REALLY FUCKING HARD.
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post #23 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I don't think The New Yorker medical section is in the business of publishing urban legends. Maybe skulls aren't as thick as we think they are?

Maybe it was a disgruntled fact checker's last day? I don't know, but I still don't think its possible to scratch through your skull.
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post #24 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:21pm
My question is, Zooey, what do you do that makes that article work related? It was a pretty interesting read, so I am intrigued. I like to imagine you working with people that have phantom limbs, but blowing them off to post on the boards.

"You only feel like I'm ignoring you! That feeling isn't really there."
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post #25 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I don't think The New Yorker medical section is in the business of publishing urban legends. Maybe skulls aren't as thick as we think they are?
False stories have been published before. I'm sure the sources were "solid". I'll reserve judgment for the time being and have a good laugh.
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post #26 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:29pm
Thread Starter 
I'm working as a private reference librarian/research assistant for a former professor of mine. She's in library studies, too. So far, for this job, I have watched Sesame Street, read issues of Adult Film News, browsed 100+ year old World's Fair catalogs, read feminist writing on housework while doing my laundry, located books on gender and the design of military equipment, read up on 20th century modernist painters, learned a lot about the native peoples of Canada, brushed up on my Socrates and Barthes, reviewed how classificatory systems for animals and temperature scales work, and found information on what words women use to refer to their genitals/genital pain.

It may not pay very well, but being a librarian is rarely boring. Plus, I can and will own anyone's ass at both Jeopardy! and Trivial Pursuit. At the same time.
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post #27 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:30pm
I want your job.
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post #28 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:32pm
Thread Starter 
Then the vast and exciting world of librarianship awaits you! Hope you like the homeless and the criminally insane.
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post #29 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:37pm
You mean there aren't public masturbations also? Consider me disappointed.
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post #30 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:37pm
Just need to move out of LA so I can live on the salary.
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post #31 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:38pm
I love librarians and their field. The ALA was pretty much the only organized group of people to call bullshit on the Patriot Act from day one and staunchly oppose it, they have those really sweet "Read" campaign posters, and there's the whole "buttoned down on the surface, smoldering temptress in trtuh" stereotype about librarians. Large collections of reading material, political dissent, students, the homless and insane, those aforementioned cultural images of the librarian...those places have everything that one could want in life.
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post #32 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:42pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
Just need to move out of LA so I can live on the salary.
Dude, I have L.A. envy. They are absolutely desperate for librarians out there. They actually send recruitment materials to my library school. They're the only public library system in the country that does it. Meanwhile, I'm 7 1/2 months post graduating with honors and I can't land a job around here (beyond hourly RA work) to save myself.
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post #33 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:44pm
Wow. That is disturbing as hell. And when I hear what other people do in their sleep as well I am suddenly for once happy that I merely snore.

Though this would make for a nice "Itchy and Scratchy" episode.
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post #34 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:45pm
Silly girl. You don't need a degree to be a librarian. You just need to know how to purse your lips and make shushing noises........

I'M KIDDING. Don't hit me.
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post #35 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:47pm
Thread Starter 
::hits you::
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post #36 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:47pm
Old Chinese proverb:
Man who sleep with itchy bum,
Wake up with smelly thumb
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post #37 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
::hits you::
I deserved it.
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post #38 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:49pm
Yes you did. Now go to your room.
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post #39 of 43
7/30/08 at 6:51pm
You're not my dad.

My dad's dead. Now how do you feel?

Actually my dad's not dead.

Okay, I'm going.
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post #40 of 43
7/30/08 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Dude, I have L.A. envy. They are absolutely desperate for librarians out there. They actually send recruitment materials to my library school. They're the only public library system in the country that does it. Meanwhile, I'm 7 1/2 months post graduating with honors and I can't land a job around here (beyond hourly RA work) to save myself.
Yeah, but once you get that job, I bet houses are at least 1/2 or 1/3 the cost (and in better neighborhoods). But that's a discussion for another, angrier thread.
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post #41 of 43
7/30/08 at 11:19pm
I once read that a guy got a boner at night and rolled over in his sleep and literally snapped it.

That does it, I'm wearing a boxing glove on my penis tonight - ONE OF THOSE OVERSIZE NOVELTY ONES LOLOL!
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post #42 of 43
7/30/08 at 11:38pm
If your penis dies it isn't the end- but a new beginning. It will be guided by Danny Glover to heaven to forever be with angels Heath and Estelle.
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post #43 of 43
7/31/08 at 8:46am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul McCartney View Post
I once read that a guy got a boner at night and rolled over in his sleep and literally snapped it.!
I have a feeling that that was really a case of spousal rape gone horribly wrong and the guy was looking at his wife something fierce with hate filled eyes as he gave his lame cover story to the attending physician. Probably while cracking his knuckles and neck.
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