CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread

post #1 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:22pm
Thread Starter 
Missing Feet! Beheadings! Tumor-faced freaks! Japanese culture! Post all of your favorite bizarre news stories here. Two rules:

1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.

2) Please try to be as funny as possible.

Starting this off:

Brute punches playful London girl during Facebook-inspired waterfight

In comic panel form:

Reply
post #2 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:23pm
Someone sticky this stat!
Reply
post #3 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:25pm
Thread Starter 
Eileen's already on it!
Reply
post #4 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:26pm
"Girlwhack!"

Granted, she didn't squirt him with water, but period blood.
Reply
post #5 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:27pm
So that's what happened to that girl from Superbad.
Reply
post #6 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:27pm
You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.
Reply
post #7 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
You can see Meteor Man in the back coming to the rescue.
Hey man. That's racist.


Funny though.
Reply
post #8 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:38pm
My favorite part of the article:
"Gangs of youths then ran amok, threatening the public, flashing knives and causing riding school children as young as five to be thrown from their horses."
Reply
post #9 of 1146
8/1/08 at 2:42pm
We here at facebook believe men and women have an equal right to get whacked in the face for doing annoying shit.

Also, that guy's about to get his girlwhacking ass boywhacked.
Reply
post #10 of 1146
8/1/08 at 3:16pm
Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.
Reply
post #11 of 1146
8/1/08 at 3:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
Where are the after pix? The group behind the boy does not look amused. I like to think they followed him onto a double decker bus, and went Louis XIV on him.
So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...
Reply
post #12 of 1146
8/1/08 at 3:54pm
Missing foot? Found one!

Foot found washed up on shore
AP POSTED: July 31, 2008

ROGERS CITY (AP) — Police are investigating the discovery of a decomposed foot on a Lake Huron beach in Presque Isle County.

A resident called the sheriff’s department Monday after finding the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, at the outlet of a small creek near the Hammond Bay fishery research facility.

An examination performed by an anthropological forensics expert determined the foot belonged to a man 35 years or older.

Should this go on Craigslist?
Reply
post #13 of 1146
8/1/08 at 3:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Kelly View Post
So it takes a group of Englishmen to do what one Canadian can? Wussies...
Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.
Reply
post #14 of 1146
8/1/08 at 3:56pm
This aussie begs to differ:

Reply
post #15 of 1146
8/1/08 at 4:06pm
I'm offended at the misogyny in this thread.
Reply
post #16 of 1146
8/1/08 at 4:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
Canucks carry giant fucking Bowie knives. The Englishmen will be using tea cups.
Hey man, don't knock the tea cups. Those can be fucking deadly. Just ask this guy:

Reply
post #17 of 1146
8/1/08 at 5:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
1) No "how can you laugh at this?" bullshit whining. This is not a thread for the squeamish. We cope with our cruel and dangerous world through humor.
Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.
Reply
post #18 of 1146
8/1/08 at 5:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Kelly View Post
... the foot, encased in a sock and sandal, ...
I told the motherfucker socks and sandals don't work, but he wouldn't take them off.
Reply
post #19 of 1146
8/1/08 at 5:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
Did you make this? It's excellent.
Reply
post #20 of 1146
8/1/08 at 5:58pm
Thread Starter 
I did!
Reply
post #21 of 1146
8/1/08 at 5:59pm
Nice work Minsky
Reply
post #22 of 1146
8/1/08 at 6:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
Nicely done! Rules stated, thread stickied. Good on ya.


Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!
Reply
post #23 of 1146
8/1/08 at 6:03pm
Awwww, no one dares run at the prsence of Hocken.

*Walkes away to the tune of that song that's played at the end of each Hulk episode*
Reply
post #24 of 1146
8/1/08 at 6:12pm
That comic is way more funny if you read it British.
Reply
post #25 of 1146
8/1/08 at 8:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post

Shit, son, It's LisaNY!!!

Ruuunnnnn!!!!!!!!
(*Hurls birthday cake at Schwartz - nails him in the back of the noggin*)

GOTCHA!!

(And did you see? I changed my user title in honor of your post in the decapitation thread! Ha!)
Reply
post #26 of 1146
8/1/08 at 8:58pm
It's perfect.
Reply
post #27 of 1146
8/1/08 at 9:12pm
Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg
Reply
post #28 of 1146
8/1/08 at 11:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Now to add a new story to the thread

"Rat People" forced to beg
It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!

Seriously though, the whole belief system there sounds like something from Forgotten Realms [/nerd]

ETA: Lisa, that custom username is 100% gold
Reply
post #29 of 1146
8/2/08 at 12:19am
Quote:
Originally Posted by C.Swicegood View Post
It's the cult of zippy the pinhead!
That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.
Reply
post #30 of 1146
8/2/08 at 1:29am


First thing to come to mind.
Reply
post #31 of 1146
8/2/08 at 9:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
That girl's only 25 years old? She really needs to hit the Estee Lauder counter in a big way. Y'know - rat face aside and all.
What, bad enough she's got a rat face and small head, you want her to spend what little money she has on make-up that may or may not work on her?

Hell, this'll do the job, and is pretty much free:



Oh, and can I have my birthday cake without fear? I'm trying to cut down. Too many calories. Trying to get back into shape, y'know. kthxbai.
Reply
post #32 of 1146
8/2/08 at 12:49pm
Oh, come on, the fear helps you burn the cake off. You'll thank me later.
Reply
post #33 of 1146
8/2/08 at 2:33pm
Why so serious?
Reply
post #34 of 1146
8/2/08 at 2:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post


"You don't like bears? OMG! I don't like pigs! We should totally hook-up!"
Reply
post #35 of 1146
8/2/08 at 5:09pm
Should've let Yogi have that pic-a-nic basket.

I love how matter-of fact she is in that video:
"My first sensation was 'Oh, a little tiny bear! But, what a bully!' "
"... and I went 'there goes my eye!' "

as opposed to any of us who'd be going "AAAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! MOTHER OF GOD!!!!! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! WHY?!?! IT'S CHEWING MY BRAIN!!!!! EEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
Reply
post #36 of 1146
8/2/08 at 5:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
I love how matter-of fact she is in that video:
"My first sensation was 'Oh, a little tiny bear! But, what a bully!' "
"... and I went 'there goes my eye!' "
That lady's awesome. I wanna hang out with her. "This is my friend, the bitten up ducky lady. Tell 'em about your bear attack, bud."

"Oh, okay, well the bear took my entire head it it's mouth, and all I heard was 'NOM NOM NOM!' "
Reply
post #37 of 1146
8/2/08 at 6:08pm
This kills comic book theory that horrible scarring leads to a life of super villainy.

Nolan should have made a movie with Two-Face just calmly explaining how he got so deformed.
Reply
post #38 of 1146
8/2/08 at 6:11pm
The CNN headline is "Bear maul victim: 'There goes my eye'". God, I wish I could get that on one of their t-shirts.
Reply
post #39 of 1146
8/2/08 at 8:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
This kills comic book theory that horrible scarring leads to a life of super villainy.
She plays nice to lure her victims in.
Reply
post #40 of 1146
8/4/08 at 4:52pm
Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.
Reply
post #41 of 1146
8/4/08 at 5:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.
That happens all the time in this state. People use 911 as their therapist instead of an emergency service.
Reply
post #42 of 1146
8/4/08 at 5:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.
That Patrick Ripoll is crazy!
Reply
post #43 of 1146
8/4/08 at 5:58pm
Zing
Reply
post #44 of 1146
8/4/08 at 6:31pm
Beheadings are all the rage right now.

Greek Man Shows Off Girlfriend's Head

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4317818.shtml

I may have to get in on the act while it's HAWT.
Reply
post #45 of 1146
8/4/08 at 6:55pm
Nah, Electric, by the time you do it, it'll be so passe and you'll just look like a wannabe poser.
Reply
post #46 of 1146
8/4/08 at 9:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Man dials 911 after not getting sauce on subway sammich

And yes, this did come from Florida.
I saw this during my warm-up on the treadmill. The girl next to me was wondering why I was snickering during my run.
Reply
post #47 of 1146
8/4/08 at 10:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrichead View Post
Beheadings are all the rage right now.

Greek Man Shows Off Girlfriend's Head

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/...n4317818.shtml

I may have to get in on the act while it's HAWT.
This guy was seriously determined to have the best day of his life.
Reply
post #48 of 1146
8/5/08 at 2:51pm
Man strangles wife - sentenced to one year pub ban.

Oh those Scotts....
Reply
post #49 of 1146
8/5/08 at 2:52pm
Hey, to a scotsman. That's like ten years in a Maximum Security prison.
Reply
post #50 of 1146
8/5/08 at 3:29pm
Quote:
Edward Flaherty, 74, who is suffering from dementia, was convicted of strangling 69-year-old Ina Flaherty with a tie after she refused to give him money to go drinking.
There is so much win in this sentence.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Misc. Culture
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › The Official Funny, Violent, or Bizarre News Story Thread