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It smells like Bigfoot's dick.

post #1 of 64
8/13/08 at 1:31pm
Thread Starter 
From the AJC:

Quote:
Bigfoot located in Georgia?

By AJC | Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 12:07 PM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

The search for Bigfoot, the maybe-mythical half-man/half-gorilla beast also known as Sasquatch, may have ended in Georgia.

According to a press release issued by “Searching For Bigfoot,” a California-based web site, two men have not only found the corpse of a 7-foot, 500 pound man-monkey, but they’ve also found a tribe of his brethren living at an undisclosed location in the North Georgia mountains. The men are to appear at a press conference in California with “DNA evidence and photo evidence” this Friday.

According the the press release, one of the discoverers is Matthew Whitton, a police officer on administrative leave for being wounded in the line of duty. The AJC recently reported a police officer with the same name was shot during the robbery of a Krystal restaurant, but we’ve been unable to contact Whitton to see if they are one and the same.

Curiously, Whitton, along with fellow big-game hunter Rick Dyer, a former correctional officer, are co-owners of bigfoottracker.com and Bigfoot Global LLC., a company that offers Bigfoot expeditions. The men are working with allegedly famous Bigfoot hunter, Tom Biscardi, and Biscardi’s Searching for Bigfoot, Inc., to present and conduct the scientific study of the evidence and information on this body, according to the press release. Here’s the Bigfoot website

What do you think? And is there any way the Atlanta Falcons can get one of these guys to play defense?
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post #2 of 64
8/13/08 at 1:36pm
Somebody actually robbed a Crystal? In the name of God, WHY?!?!?!?!
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post #3 of 64
8/13/08 at 1:40pm
Thread Starter 
During my mercifully brief time as a dispatcher for the college cops in Carrollton (alliteration!), we had a call about two guys passed out drunk in their car at the drive-through at Krystal. Best call I got that summer.
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post #4 of 64
8/13/08 at 1:48pm
One thing I always appreciated about Carrollton as a kid was its variety of fast-food options. My grandparents live in Bremen, and all they had was Hardee's. They have a Captain D's now, though.
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post #5 of 64
8/13/08 at 1:49pm
Thread Starter 
I currently hate myself for not titling this thread "Goony Goo-Goo."

LeFors, get back down to Georgia. You've got experience hiking up there. We'll get some of these things and keep them as pets.
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post #6 of 64
8/13/08 at 2:00pm
I'm on it. Although, I have to say, in all my travels in the Georgia mountains, I've never seen hide nor hair of a bigfoot. El Chupacabra, yes. But not bigfoot.
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post #7 of 64
8/13/08 at 2:00pm
Tom Biscardi sounds like a dick.
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post #8 of 64
8/13/08 at 3:10pm
Could it be that some amazingly hairy Krystal employees shot officer Whitton because he was tracking them?
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post #9 of 64
8/13/08 at 3:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Somebody actually robbed a Crystal? In the name of God, WHY?!?!?!?!
They'd been out drinking all night, apparently.
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post #10 of 64
8/13/08 at 4:33pm
The fact that this story ties into that Krystal robbery from a month ago pleases me. Also, I've gotta find out if this guy is a distant relative.

The "allegedly famous" part is hilarious, too.
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post #11 of 64
8/13/08 at 4:52pm
Thread Starter 
Debunked. Why does God kill all my joy?

http://www.bfro.net/
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post #12 of 64
8/13/08 at 5:00pm
Sheeeeeit, everybody knows BFRO has no credibility.
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post #13 of 64
8/13/08 at 5:15pm
I like their clothing line.
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post #14 of 64
8/13/08 at 5:52pm
I love the picture of "A Real Sasquatch" as compared to "Human in Costume."

NOTICE THE ARMS, they warn.
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post #15 of 64
8/13/08 at 5:53pm
Of course. I thought everyone knew it was the arms that gave away imposter sasquaches (sasquachi).
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post #16 of 64
8/13/08 at 5:55pm
(more than you want to hear) BFRO has a running feud against another dude (Loren Coleman, google him) who bought into this guy's story. This is just an online pissing contest.
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post #17 of 64
8/13/08 at 6:12pm
I want this to be real, cause I gotta prank the big guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyUm1...eature=related
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post #18 of 64
8/14/08 at 7:31am
I thought it was awfully strange that one would be found in Georgia, considering most of the sightings take place in the Pacific Northwest. And then when you hear that this is a cop on leave, you gotta wonder what he's doing with all that free time. Buying a Bigfoot costume and raw meat, apparently.
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post #19 of 64
8/14/08 at 11:09am
bigfoottracker.com
Bigfoot Global LLC.
Bigfoot, Inc.

This makes me want to incorporate a monster too. Abominable Industries Worldwide d/b/a Urban Yeti North America? Abe Lincoln's Ghost, Ltd.? The Shoggoth Group?
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post #20 of 64
8/14/08 at 11:55am
Thread Starter 
TCBYeti, Ltd.
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post #21 of 64
8/14/08 at 12:00pm
Baskin Goblins
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post #22 of 64
8/14/08 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
TCBYeti, Ltd.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Baskin Goblins
I love both of you for these. In a totally hetero way, of course.
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post #23 of 64
8/14/08 at 12:35pm
Cracker Werewolf and Burger Son of Kong are still up for grabs.
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post #24 of 64
8/14/08 at 1:07pm
Gnome Depot
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post #25 of 64
8/14/08 at 6:05pm
Wendigy's?
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post #26 of 64
8/14/08 at 6:10pm
Yog Sothoth Sanitation Industries.
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post #27 of 64
8/14/08 at 6:16pm
Vigo's Daycare
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post #28 of 64
8/14/08 at 6:22pm
The Law firm of Bateman, Myers, Krueger and Spaulding LLP
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post #29 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:16pm
Press conf. live on CNN.com right now!
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post #30 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:27pm
thxs
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post #31 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:41pm
This is fucking bizarre.
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post #32 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:42pm
I want a hat.
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post #33 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:49pm
That was stupid.

Georgia's finest right there. Filling a freezer with water...
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post #34 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:51pm
That was highly amusing. Yeah, the freezer part was stupid/funny.
The persistence of the reporters was cracking me up, and the shot at the very end where they pulled back and you could see the assortment of college newspaper reporters/Comic Book Guys/actual journalists that were there was the highlight for me.
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post #35 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:53pm
Didn't he mention someone with a suit? I hope a reporter was in a big-foot costume asking questions...
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post #36 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:53pm
The CNN.com live feed seems to be down now. They cut a guy off in mid sentence. But I did love the reporters laughing in the background and the one hick getting flustered at questions and refusing to answer them.
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post #37 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:55pm
I came in late, just enough to catch the pouring water in the freezer. Did they say if they handed off the corpse to scientists, or how they plan to prove the authenticity at all?
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post #38 of 64
8/15/08 at 4:59pm
He mentioned scientists. But the guy was very dickish when people were asking questions.
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post #39 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Gray View Post
The persistence of the reporters was cracking me up, and the shot at the very end where they pulled back and you could see the assortment of college newspaper reporters
Chick in the pink skirt had a nice ass, eh?
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post #40 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
I came in late, just enough to catch the pouring water in the freezer. Did they say if they handed off the corpse to scientists, or how they plan to prove the authenticity at all?
Yeah, it's in the hands of the gray-haired guy you might have seen, who is some sort of Bigfoot authority. They got some DNA testing done by a scientist at U of MN, and they have some RUSSIANS (one of whom is named Igor!) coming in next week to look it over. I think he also mentioned a paleontologist at Stanford who was going to check it out within the week.

They said there were three DNA samples taken/tested, and the results of those three were:

A) Inconclusive
B) Human
C) Possum

So, yeah. Science!
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post #41 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:19pm
So we have a huge possum mutant that bred with a human, but now can't decide which side of the fence he's on? Wow, who knew the missing link would be so similar to a pre-op tranny.
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post #42 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Gray View Post

A) Inconclusive
B) Human
C) Possum
Sounds like a pretty eventful weekend in Georgia.
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post #43 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:28pm
What we really want to know about Bigfoot Man Possum?

Is he a Bulldog or a Yellowjacket!
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post #44 of 64
8/15/08 at 5:49pm
Manfootossum. Al Gore will be all over this...
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post #45 of 64
8/16/08 at 1:40am
Press conference segment. A live press conference on CNN in the middle of the day. Man.
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post #46 of 64
8/16/08 at 9:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Gray View Post
They said there were three DNA samples taken/tested, and the results of those three were:

A) Inconclusive
B) Human
C) Possum
Tomorrow on Maury ...
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post #47 of 64
8/16/08 at 4:16pm
"Bigfoot my baby daddy!"
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post #48 of 64
8/17/08 at 12:41pm
One of these:

http://www.mangroomer.com/

And you'll find Dan Hedaya.
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post #49 of 64
8/18/08 at 2:30am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe LeFors View Post
Gnome Depot
I had a nice time there Saturday, but I got so caught up that we didn't even have time to stop by Bed, Bath, and Beyonder.
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post #50 of 64
8/18/08 at 9:33am
Sounds like you had a better weekend than I did. I spent my weekend renting space over at that Elf Storage Center on Lavista.
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