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Can a 1000 lb woman be considered a flight risk?

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
Well, this is one way to get free health care.....


http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,408609,00.html

EDINBURG, Texas — A grand jury indicted a nearly half-ton, bedridden woman Thursday in the death of her 2-year-old nephew.

Mayra Lizbeth Rosales, 27, was indicted on one count of first-degree murder and on one count of injury to a child in the death of Eliseo Gonzalez Jr. Rosales previously had been charged with capital murder.

The grand jury indicted her after a full autopsy confirmed investigators' suspicions that the child died March 18 because he had been struck. Investigators believe the toddler was struck at least twice, crushing his head.

Authorities recommended Rosales' bond be set at $150,000.

The boy's mother Jaime Rosales, was charged earlier with injury to a child because she allegedly left her son alone with his aunt. Her bond has been set at $100.000.

Prosecutors have to work out how Mayra Rosales will be detained and prosecuted because she weighs nearly 1,000 pounds. She is unable to fit through a door to leave her home. As of Thursday evening, she was not in custody.

Both Hidalgo County District Attorney Rene Guerra and Hidalgo County Sheriff Lupe Trevino promised that Rosales would somehow face the charges but they had little details about how that would happen. Trevino said holding her at the Hidalgo County Jail for her trial would be impossible because she needs extensive medical care.

"She would die," said Trevino in Thursday's online edition of The Monitor in McAllen.

Nevertheless, she will soon face arrest, he said.
post #2 of 32
I'm so pissed at that article for not having a picture up.

She can't go to jail, she wouldn't fit on any bed or cell. If convicted, she should be facing house arrest.
post #3 of 32
A child next to a 1000lb woman would be torn apart just by her gravitational field. She didn't have to hit it too. That's overkill.
post #4 of 32
House arrest means life goes on as normal for her.
post #5 of 32
If she got house arrest, they could have Richard Simmons visit her everyday and get her into shape. In extreme situations, cruel and unusual doesn't apply.
post #6 of 32
I guess if I ever murder someone I'll switch to an all Twinkie diet immediately.
post #7 of 32
I swear I read the thread title and tought it was another airplane passenger story. This is why i need coffee.
post #8 of 32
We're talking Texas right? And she killed a kid? I think the math is rather simple.
post #9 of 32
Toss in the fact that she's apparently of Mexican descent, we got a Texas style hoedown in the making, I reckon!

And I wouldn't worry about flight risk; the only way this woman's flying anyahere is out of a catapult.
post #10 of 32
Only on an airplane!

Ba-dump-bump.
post #11 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post

And I wouldn't worry about flight risk; the only way this woman's flying anyahere is out of a catapult.


"Move Yourself and Save" has a whole new meaning.
post #12 of 32
Can't they just brick up the doors and windows and call it a day?
post #13 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
And I wouldn't worry about flight risk; the only way this woman's flying anyahere is out of a catapult.
She could have a sail barge, you don't even know.

post #14 of 32
They need to go into her house and remove all the food then rig the TV so it can only play Food Network all day. Done. Solved.

Or they could borrow Blade's UV flashlight.
post #15 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
Can't they just brick up the doors and windows and call it a day?
Why brick up the windows??? She's 1,000 pounds!!! The article makes it clear she can't even make it out the door.

I would have loved to see an episode of the Wire with Bunk and McNulty handling this case. What would they have done?
post #16 of 32
I seriously interpreted this as a airliner story. For a second, I started doing the math on how you'd do your weight and balance for that flight.
post #17 of 32
I'd like to make a joke, but I can only ask...How do you not die before making it to half a ton?
post #18 of 32
I love you guys.
post #19 of 32
My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?
post #20 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?
Her gravitational pull likely rivals that of Jupiter, so all she had to do was hold her hand up and let the kid come to her.
post #21 of 32
I wonder how many children's skeletons will fall out from between her fatbags once they force her on a diet. She probably sucks them in like meteors to the moon.
post #22 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bitches Leave View Post
I wonder how many children's skeletons will fall out from between her fatbags once they force her on a diet. She probably sucks them in like meteors to the moon.
She's good through a harsh winter considering that much storage space. Makes my pantry look rather small in comparison. Eh, see what I did there? I made a fat pun.
post #23 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Why brick up the windows??? She's 1,000 pounds!!!
If they don't she might inch her way over to one and grab a child who's walking by and devour him/her whole. Then that child's death will be on your hands for not bricking up her windows. Do you want that?! Do you!?!? Haven't enough children died?
post #24 of 32
[QUOTE=Chris Miller;2336298]My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?[/QUOTE

Now that you mention it, that IS a damned good question.
post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
Now that you mention it, that IS a damned good question.
Well, if the kid's standing between her and a Twinkie, you'd be surprised at how fast a half ton of female can move. She probably moves like the Blob or something, and can squeeze her fat through most openings, too, so bricking up the windows is a damn good idea.

Shit, block her in her room completely, except for the bedroom door, set up a stand, charge kids a buck a head to throw peanuts at her, then give the money to her nephew's family.
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by myers87
"What if density was never meant to be?"
Fuck off, myers.
post #27 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
Well, if the kid's standing between her and a Twinkie, you'd be surprised at how fast a half ton of female can move. She probably moves like the Blob or something, and can squeeze her fat through most openings, too, so bricking up the windows is a damn good idea.

Shit, block her in her room completely, except for the bedroom door, set up a stand, charge kids a buck a head to throw peanuts at her, then give the money to her nephew's family.

It's simple physics. An object in motion tends to stay in motion. An object at rest...etc.
She's Juggernaut in the making.
post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shen Annigans View Post
She's Juggernaut in the making.
Or an explosion of evil waiting to happen...
post #29 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
Or an explosion of evil waiting to happen...

Ok, the magic with that beauty is that the chances of being lost in a fold are minimal. Gun to my head. I'd throw a shot to Ball Creature instead of Ton of Mexican.
post #30 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?
She swung her body just enough so that her massive tits just smacked the kid right in the face. 1-2 punch, indeed.
post #31 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
My girlfriend brought up a good point: How does a woman weighing 1000 pounds, and most likely immobile, get the strength to kill a child with a punch or two?
It's a typo. The kid was killed by her "lunch".

Either that, or she swung, missed, and toppled over and the kid was killed in a flesh avalanche.
post #32 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shen Annigans View Post
Ok, the magic with that beauty is that the chances of being lost in a fold are minimal. Gun to my head. I'd throw a shot to Ball Creature instead of Ton of Mexican.
Better man than I am, Gunga Din. If it came down to it, twixt Ball Creature or the half ton of Mexcian fun, I'd try and start a family with the first tree I could.

Also, chances are the woman didn't even have to connect to kill the kid. The massive gale generated by one of her arms swinging would've been enough to pulverize every bone in the poor boy's body. That, or the horrendously evil stench emanating from the sweaty, dirty, decaying flesh of her folds of flab would've done it. Poor lad's brain would try and eat itself to end his suffering.
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Can a 1000 lb woman be considered a flight risk?