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Marital Problems (Wife Thinks She's A Lesbian)

post #1 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:29pm
Thread Starter 
I need help. I'm losing my mind.

A few months ago I moved to Seattle with my wife of one year (and girlfriend of 5), and her daughter who I've raised since the age of 2. It took some time settling in, but we finally started to.

A few weeks ago my wife met a friend at the Starbucks she works at.

After 2 weeks of friendship they had a lesbian encounter.

This confused my wife, and set us off on a week long argument, about her sexuality and our marriage. After a week on her birthday she decides to go out with the girl one last time for b-day drinks, and that's it. She and I are to be together.

Sadly, that is not the case. Apparently the very next day via text message they got back together.

On the following Monday they slept together.

I didn't know any of this until yesterday, when she was at my apartment, and my wife professed loving feelings for this girl.

My wife is 27, this girl is 20. This girl was a UCLA student, dropped out and decided to coach basketball and work at Starbucks. We have a seven year old, and while it's not mine I've raised her like mine.
My wife now conceeds she's a lesbian. After a month of no sex, we finally had sex last Sat. and she didn't enjoy it. In five years we've always had a good sex life, and then this. I really really hate this.

I decided to sort this out in a way. My wife tells me that this relationship is primarily physical. They don't have much in common outside of sex, yet my wife still loves her. She then claims her other friends who don't know me, and haven't seen us together have declared that we are bad together bc we lack compassion and communication.

We lack neither of those.

My wife claims that most relationships start physical, but then develop. I don't believe this, we started out as best friends, and always had great communication and mutual interests through the years.

I'm going back to Florida on Tuesday, and the girl is going to move into my apt with my daughter. Apparently she was formally a nanny, and "loves kids."

I don't doubt this, but being 20 usually means you want to be free-spirited and not buckled down.

I don't believe this will last.

My hope is that she calls me in a few months, after she realizes all we had, and all we lost, and we can reconcile, because even though all this, I love her as much as the moment I met her.

She was my love at first sight, and now she's my nothing.
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post #2 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:33pm
Write a script about it.
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post #3 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Write a script about it.
It's too painful.
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post #4 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:35pm
Write a song about it from her point of view. $$$$
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post #5 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:36pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbott & Prospero View Post
Write a song about it from her point of view. $$$$
Look I'm in a very bad place, this shit isn't really funny.
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post #6 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:37pm
I have no idea what we are suppose to do about this.
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post #7 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:39pm
Well, I feel for you man, it certainly sucks. On the other hand, it sounds like you've already come to your decision, moving back to Florida and what-not. What other help or advice are you looking for? Oh, and Tati's script idea is a good one.
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post #8 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:39pm
"She went lesbo on me, like that! As soon I finished my dinner, I walked right outta there. What do you think? Was I wrong?"
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post #9 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeroillusion View Post
Look I'm in a very bad place, this shit isn't really funny.
Honestly, this is going nowhere good.
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post #10 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:45pm
Do not watch FEAST OF LOVE.
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post #11 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:49pm
Hate Crime?!!??!?!
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post #12 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:52pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luxury-Yacht View Post
Hate Crime?!!??!?!
Thought about the bitch already called me a homophobe.
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post #13 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:57pm
Those damn homosexuals think of everything.
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post #14 of 168
8/22/08 at 9:59pm
Have you thought about trying to include her girl into your sex life?

If she's only having a "physical relationship" with her, use that as an excuse to try to save the marriage. Maybe the 3 of you can form some weird family. Plus, you get to fuck 2 chicks all the time!
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post #15 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Have you thought about trying to include her girl into your sex life?
This. I mean, she's already been unfaithful to you. Why the fuck not?

EDIT: I had a more thoughtful response on this, but haven't eaten all day and I tend to ramble on endlessly when I'm hungry. The boiled down statement will suffice.
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post #16 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:06pm
You probably don't want to hear it, but it's never going to be the same. Time to cut your losses and move on.
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post #17 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Have you thought about trying to include her girl into your sex life?

If she's only having a "physical relationship" with her, use that as an excuse to try to save the marriage. Maybe the 3 of you can form some weird family. Plus, you get to fuck 2 chicks all the time!
I can't believe how incredibly insensitive you're being Tati. Have you even considered what this other chick looks like?

But seriously, probably what Eric said.
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post #18 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:24pm
It's scary how many variations on this story I've seen on the internet. And I'm not talking about the Dear Penthouse aspect of it.
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post #19 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:25pm
Yeah. It's like when a relative dies and someone posts about it. I understand the need to vent. But, it's never going to help or do any good. Get some real friends.
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post #20 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:27pm
Last September my wife of three years just up and walked out. We had spent a total of nine years together, three of those married. Not to mention the fact that we have a daughter together. Two months after our third anniversary I got a phone call on a Friday morning while I was at work and she told me that she lost something along the way and that it was time to end it - just gave me the "I don't love you anymore" and up and left. I saw her later that day and she actually had the nerve to ask me "Why are you so sad?" She showed absolutely no emotion and to this day still hasn't. Outside of what concerns our daughter we barely speak. I got absolutely no closure and had to figure out how to deal all on my own. I don't even have the comfort of knowing what exactly caused it like you do. I have no idea what happened or why. And I still don't. And I never will. And 11 months later I'm perfectly okay with it. I don't care anymore. And if she came to me today and said she wanted to come home I'd say no.

Point of the story is - get the fuck over it and move on. Don't sit around and wait for her. Just figure out how to put it all behind you and get over it. Moving to Florida is the best thing ever. We had to stay in contact because of our kiddo but if it wasn't for that I would have cut her out completely from day one. That's the best thing you can do. You'll be surprised at how you feel come 6 or 8 months for now. Most important thing is don't be afraid to be heartbroken right now. I had a good support system and friends who let me meltdown on them and get shitfaced and crash on their couches. It helped.
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post #21 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:33pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JGButler View Post
\ I had a good support system and friends who let me meltdown on them and get shitfaced and crash on their couches. It helped.

That's the idea. I think I'm going to spend the next 6 months doing what I should've been doing in my early twenties in my late 20's.

And then I'm going to head out somewhere.

I think NYC, where I'll make black and white independent hipster horror films.
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post #22 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Yeah. It's like when a relative dies and someone posts about it.
No, I mean this exact same story, with various variants. I think its the nature of the internet, and message boards.
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post #23 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:34pm
Shit, dude.
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post #24 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andre Dellamorte View Post
No, I mean this exact same story, with various variants. I think its the nature of the internet, and message boards.
You mean geeks marry closeted lesbians?
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post #25 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:38pm
This sounds like my ma. 17 years of marriage, decides to move to Seattle to be with her "soul mate".

What if destiny was never meant to be?
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post #26 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:41pm
I would go with trying to incorporate lesbian sex into your relationship. For serious.
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post #27 of 168
8/22/08 at 10:57pm
Or just quit being a little bitch and learn how to eat pussy.
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post #28 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:00pm
Yeah you laugh and all, and then the same shit happens to you.

Not that I would post about it...especially not on the CHUD forums. I mean really, you people have the heart of a snotty 13 yr old girl with emotional problems. I could talk about my dog dying and someone will bring up a Sleeping Dogs Lie joke.

Anyways, sorry to hear about that man. I can relate and all, but I think everyone else has given good advice. The best thing you can do is move on or at least try to find some peace for yourself. But I can understand how if you spent time working, spent time with her, spent time with her daughter, that you might not have as much time for lots of friends so it's not a big deal you posted about it.
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post #29 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
Or just quit being a little bitch and learn how to eat pussy.
Zero you should sell the rights to HBO. You know it's not tv.

I enjoy that nowadays Slater only does posts like the quoted above.
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post #30 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radb707 View Post
Yeah you laugh and all, and then the same shit happens to you.

Not that I would post about it...especially not on the CHUD forums. I mean really, you people have the heart of a snotty 13 yr old girl with emotional problems. I could talk about my dog dying and someone will bring up a Sleeping Dogs Lie joke.
Didn't you post pictures of your ex-girlfriend's tits on here at one point?
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post #31 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:12pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slater View Post
Or just quit being a little bitch and learn how to eat pussy.
I am an awesome pussy eater!!! I can stay down their for 20 minutes at a fucking time!
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post #32 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:20pm
Example #2 of why revealing to much on the internet is lose-lose.
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post #33 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeroillusion View Post
I am an awesome pussy eater!!! I can stay down their for 20 minutes at a fucking time!
That's your problem. They get used to that shit and then they start questioning their sexuality and everything cause they aren't getting the dick.

This is the internet, what the hell kind of response do you think you're going to get?
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post #34 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:39pm
If I was a lesbian and this thread was Zeroillusion's wife, I'd definitely fuck it. That's how awesome it is.
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post #35 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeShaynePI View Post
If I was a lesbian and this thread was Zeroillusion's wife, I'd definitely fuck it. That's how awesome it is.
Would CHUD be the daughter or Florida? I'm never good at these things. Maybe Starbucks. I don't know.
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post #36 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeroillusion View Post
I am an awesome pussy eater!!! I can stay down their for 20 minutes at a fucking time!
Really? You better date with a multi-orgasmic since she will ruin all your fun alone. My advice: 3 minutes and then move to something else fella. Try licking her ear for example.

Any ear orgasm on her anyone?
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post #37 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:54pm
GTFO or 3WAY


Seriously, people make this relationship shit too difficult.
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post #38 of 168
8/22/08 at 11:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feral Akodon View Post
Zero you should sell the rights to HBO. You know it's not tv.
Sell the rights to Lifetime, but be sure to include a rape.
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post #39 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:07am
20 minutes? Christ, I hope you gave the poor girl a magazine or a Nintendo DS while you were fumbling around down there.
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post #40 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
You probably don't want to hear it, but it's never going to be the same. Time to cut your losses and move on.
Agree. Whether your wife gets over her new found friend or not, she won't feel the same as before. And having cheated on you once, you'll always be mistrustful of her. So continuing the relationship is a bad idea.
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post #41 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by billylove View Post
Sell the rights to Lifetime, but be sure to include a rape.
Or Meredith Baxter Birney.
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post #42 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:30am
So, who's going to play the other woman? Jaclyn Smith?
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post #43 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:40am
Zeroillusion, I strongly suggest that you slap your lesbian wife's face with your penis over and over again while quoting some Alec Baldwin. If that doesn't make her love cock again, nothing will.
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post #44 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:43am
Peter Dinklage has to play ZeroIllusion.

I smell an award!
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post #45 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Zeroillusion, I strongly suggest that you slap your lesbian wife's face with your penis over and over again while quoting some Alec Baldwin. If that doesn't make her love cock again, nothing will.
Martin is kinda awkward when they scream "Make me your Liz Lemon please". But it's a matter of taste.
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post #46 of 168
8/23/08 at 12:54am
Fake. He's a plant.

Oh wait...wrong site.
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post #47 of 168
8/23/08 at 3:22am
zero -

I've been divorced and through a failed engagement. I have to agree with JGButler. You gotta just let your emotions out, then gather yourself, and move on.

Forget about notions of revenge, fixing things, etc. Failed relationships are a very common event in life, and there's nothing unique about your situation.

You need to look at it like this: Better to know this now, than 25 years down the line. You've just dodged a bullet, and you are now free to do as you please, as a single man, wiser for the experience.

Ignore the people who are harassing you. The only people who act this way are the ones who have not experienced enough 'life' to empathize with your situation, and offer advice. It's simple immaturity, though they think the tired routine of mocking one's personal tragedy is somehow clever and unique, instead of boring and routine.
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post #48 of 168
8/23/08 at 3:34am
Slater, you are a total C-grade Cunt. I love you. In a totally non-ass ramming sort of way.

Now, Zero: If this shit really is the truth and this kind of bad romance novel plotting actually happen to you (lol), heres my advice:

Lesbo slut bitches only understand one thing: The hand.

Let me repeat: The hand. In all forms. In all motions.

Go back and slap that newly annointed muff slag you call a wife around some. Then give her a good fisting. Lesbian cunts love that shit. Then slap her around some more. Call her a whore a few times. She should be all yours after the third round of fisting. Make sure you get her asshole in one of those rounds.

If it doesn't work, well atleast you fuckin' tried.

And next time don't post yer personal shit on an internet forum. Its a really retarded move. See a shrink or something you tightass motherfucker. Or visit some hookers and slap them around a bit. They deserve it.
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post #49 of 168
8/23/08 at 3:45am
Your first mistake was bringing her to Seattle. This place is lesbian central.
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post #50 of 168
8/23/08 at 3:51am
Slater's got a point though. 20 minutes? You're doing it wrong.
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