I can understand why people buy shit that they don't need

What?

Sooomeone's got happy juice in their orange smoothie this morning!

I have basically zero work until New Year's. It doesn't look to be coming in any sooner. I've been sitting here 2 months already bored to tears. Amazon is a very, very bad thing. I'm so broke.

as long as it's cash that you're spending, fine. If it's credit and you're buying stuff that you can't afford, your downward spiral has just begun.

Sincerely, with no snarkiness at all...good for you. As a former banker, I can tell you that I've seen people with idle time get into all kinds of financial trouble.

Oh yeah. That's always what I want to spend money on to liven up my day, buy clothes.

What's preventing you from knocking one out of the park? Are the people you are living with hoverers? Do they have 24/7 surveillance on you?

I'd get a new job.

...I can't be the only one who read that as 'clitorus' fruit salad, can I?







Spec-Savers...bastards!

You know, it would be kind of awesome if a disgruntled employee would go all Diogenes the Cynic and show up, get loaded, and manually gratify him/herself as a means of quitting. Lord knows, it would be an improvement at my workplace, where people express their desire to separate from the organization by getting into fights with pallets, knives, and boxcutters or shooting people.

What are you, a school bus driver?

I'm a US Postal Service employee.

Sounds like a job I had stacking boxes on pallets at a warehouse in Edison.

Ever see two people start fighting using their forklifts? Yea, I was the only one who seemed to realize that's propane on the back of them.

I quit the next day, after deciding I didn't feel like being a casualty on the news listed as a "Warehouse Worker."

A job I worked in college had as two useful items in one's daily business: a propane torch and ethanol in spray bottles.


We used to have "flame fights" and one time we poured an entire bottle on the ground and lit it and stood on either end of this chasm of flame to do battle. Someone made a smart ass comment that I was getting beaten so I ripped off the spray top of the bottle and splashed the contents through the chasm of fire and onto my opponents leg.

He ran screaming to the bathroom where he tried to stick a size 12 workboot into the toilet to douse the flames. He didn't bother to turn the light on when he ran in and so we were treated to this glorious sight of flames and shadows. As the toilet couldn't help him out he came running back out into the warehouse desperately trying to remove his Dickies as they were now melting to his leg.

We tackled him and got the fire out. We pulled his pant leg up and from his knee to his ankle the hair was completely gone and the skin was bright red but not blistered. We slathered him in burn cream and wrapped shop towels around it with duct tape to allow him to finish the shift.

On our way out we asked him how he was doing and he pulled the pants leg up and we noticed the shop towels seemed soaked through. Removing them we glimpsed a blister the size of a DVD on one side of his leg and two that had popped on the other side.

My father ran the company so we called him and had him file a worker's comp claim in case he didn't heal up quite right. We told my father he was using the torch and kicked over a bottle of ethanol and it lit his leg up.

We used to also have pallet jack races. Sometimes I miss college and sometimes I don't.

I'm actually missing most of the occipital plate of my skull.

Pallet jack races are awesome. I like how you can get them up on two wheels when you take a corner really fast.

I let a CPU of some sort (still in the box) accidentally roll down most of the length of a ladder from about 8 feet up once. End over end, and then an unpleasant smack as it hit the floor. The other loader and I looked at each other, kinda shrugged, and put it on the pallet to be shipped out. Oops.

I had a job stacking pallets in a warehouse in Edison, too. I worked at the Maidenform distribution center (or as I like to call it, "the Bra Factory"). It doesn't sound like I had nearly as much fun as some of you guys did.

And Ed, I feel your pain. It's an effort of will most days to not go hog wild on Cigarsintl.com while I'm at work and order a $20.00 five pack of this sampler thatboxofoneofmyfavoriteshellit'sonly$29.95. . . .

[Pant! Pant!]

Yep, a real effort of will.

Take your random stream of consciousness sharing needs to Twitter where they belong.

Small world. The place I worked at was up on Plainfield Road, and while I can't remember the name of the place (I only worked there a few months), they distributed plastic/paper bags to pharmaceutical companies. Most of the guys who worked there were from inner-city Queens or Staten Island, so it was always entertaining and/or dangerous to your life. I quickly learned that Domino matches during breaks and lunch could turn violent in a matter of seconds

Best thing about working there though was this great Thai place I'd hit up for lunch occasionally right down the road called Four Seasons. Awesome place, haven't driven up there in a long time though, mostly because I hate Edison and the traffic that goes with it.

We used to race pallet jacks at a Sears repair center warehouse in high school. We had to stay late every night to pull all the parts for repair calls the next day, and if the routing office was running late we might be sitting around for hours waiting on the paperwork to come through.

Many nights did we leave with bruises and sprains. Good times.

Mine was vending machine refurbishment. Old machines come in and we updated the graphics on the decals on the side, and the Lexan fronts. Tape them up and spray them with a coat of black paint.

Occasionally we would get a cooler in with a full glass front. We shrink wrapped a buddy inside one one night and left him there for about 20 minutes. He started smoking a cigarette whilst inside. When we let him out I think he was almost dead.

Coincidentally(or not) this was the same guy I burned.

You need to find that fucking guy and just finish the job. Holy crap, is he a cat or something?