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God Hates Shrimp

post #1 of 14
9/5/08 at 7:52pm
Thread Starter 
This is brilliant.

Quote:
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.



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THE PROOF

Hurricane Katrina wiped out New Orleans.
Hurricanes are a manifestation of God's righteous anger.
And what is New Orleans famous for?
That's right - SHRIMP GUMBO.

The morning before Hurricane Katrina hit, there were grand openings for two different Long John Silver's restaurants in the 9th Ward. A big gumbo festival was planned for the following weekend.

Look it up! It is NOT a coincidence! It is God's wrath!
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post #2 of 14
9/5/08 at 8:18pm
It's offical. They hate fags and Red Lobster.
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post #3 of 14
9/5/08 at 8:40pm
He doesn't really hate it, he only hates when they go over the top with the butter....
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post #4 of 14
9/5/08 at 8:59pm
Mmm, call me the antichrist, I just steamed some up with some old bay. Delicious.
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post #5 of 14
9/6/08 at 2:02am
Proof that God hates shrimp:

- They are delicious.
- They are defenseless.
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post #6 of 14
9/6/08 at 3:16am
Sounds like a joke.

If not... jesus.
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post #7 of 14
9/6/08 at 3:56am
Spoiler: it's most obviously a joke.
Satire would be the correct term.
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post #8 of 14
9/6/08 at 4:08am
It's hard to tell, after some of the crazy jesus-freak shit I've read. Kind of like reading sarcasm in text... difficult.
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post #9 of 14
9/6/08 at 11:14am
But why would God allow all of those delicious little cheese biscuits to be destroyed? I guess it was their time to be called home, and who are we to question His plan...swing low, sweet ramekin, full of butter for to carry me home...
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post #10 of 14
9/7/08 at 10:50am
Finally something I and God agree on.
I recognize an insect when I see one, dammit.
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post #11 of 14
9/7/08 at 10:53am
When is Fred Phelps getting involved?
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post #12 of 14
9/8/08 at 1:21pm
...what?
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post #13 of 14
9/8/08 at 8:29pm
Bout time someone came out and said this. The brainwashing propaganda from the Shrimp Agenda has gone too far!
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post #14 of 14
9/12/08 at 1:16am
Them shrimps' is queerin' up our oceans.
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