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Working for Lao Che Airlines

post #1 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:09pm
Thread Starter 
If you're a pilot for Lao Che airlines, at some point during your training you are taught that if Lao Che ever laughs and salutes you from the tarmac just before take-off, then you are to abandon the plane mid-flight and leave the passengers to die.

That's pretty awesome.
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post #2 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:11pm
Dan Aykroyd was in on it. Asshole.
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post #3 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:14pm
it's all in the subtle inflections of the laugh and the salute. If he'd have used his other hand for the salute, it would have meant for the pilots to collectively sodomize Indy and his party. All things considered, they got off lightly.
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post #4 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:20pm
Those poor chickens...
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post #5 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:21pm
Just 4 posts, and already an excellent thread.
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post #6 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:21pm
High turnover at that company, I imagine. Not to mention the expense of constantly building new planes.

I wonder if inflatable life rafts were cut from the inventory post-1935.
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post #7 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:26pm
Wouldn't it have been easier for the pilots just to machine gun them all while they're sleeping instead of trusting their parachutes over the Himalayas?
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post #8 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:26pm
Positive: Less chance to screw up the landing.

Negative: Long walk back to the terminal.
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post #9 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Wouldn't it have been easier for the pilots just to machine gun them all while they're sleeping instead of trusting their parachutes over the Himalayas?
If Lao had scratched his armpit instead of saluted...
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post #10 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:30pm
But waiting until one of your doomed passengers wakes up so that you can grin evilly, wave and jump out of the plane with the last parachute? That's just a little something you toss in for free.
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post #11 of 23
9/8/08 at 1:58pm
Lao Che could have just hired Japanese pilots and taken care of everything in one fell swoop.
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post #12 of 23
9/8/08 at 2:01pm
It's murder AND insurance fraud. That plane was getting to be a real money pit.
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post #13 of 23
9/8/08 at 2:06pm
Also, you must be willing to kill children.
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post #14 of 23
9/8/08 at 2:09pm
One thing that always bugged me: Why does Harrison keep tapping the fuel gauge? Is he expecting it to show that it's empty?

'Fuel?'

tap tap tap..

'Fuel??'

tap tap tap...

'FUEL??!!

tap tap tap...it shows empty...they breathe a sigh of relief at their imminent death
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post #15 of 23
9/8/08 at 2:09pm
I imagine sometime later in life (I like to call it "The Old Indiana Jones Chronicles") Indy ran into Lao Che at a bar:

"Holy shit. You're supposed to be dead!"
"Nice try, Lao Che."
"But...can you fly a plane?"
"No."
"Then...how did you...how did you do it?"
"I jumped out the window with an inflatable raft?"
"The fuck are you talking about?"

If I didn't believe in quitting while I was ahead, Indy would have followed with this exchange:

"That's nothing, one time I ended up in this small town and I realized they were going to test a nuke..."
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post #16 of 23
9/8/08 at 2:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Felt Pelt View Post
Also, you must be willing to kill children.
Not true.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lao Che Airlines Employee Handbook, Section 14: Additional Duties View Post
As a valued member of the Lao Che Airlines family, you are not required to kill anyone. However, that doesn't mean you have to save them.
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post #17 of 23
9/8/08 at 3:43pm
This thread is so made of win.

And awesome, Brian.
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post #18 of 23
9/8/08 at 4:00pm
What in the pilots' dealings with Lao Che made them think he'd come to get them when they parachuted into the mountains?

Pilot 1: "You know, he's always been nice to me. He got me a tie for Christmas last year."
Pilot 2: "Me too! The one with the red-"
Both together: "...stripes!" [both laugh]
1: "He's not coming, is he?"
2: "He does seem to have little regard for human life. I should have figured something was up when I my stack of liability waivers was thicker than a diary."
1. "It's cold out here."
2: "Yup. Storm's brewing."
1: "Hey, you think they got out?"
2: "Hard to say. We chucked just about every usable gravity-resistant device we had. Even the goddamn Obi Wan drink umbrellas."
1: "The raft?"
2: "The raft we left in there. Mr. Che said something about wanting Jones to savor the sweet irony of being stranded to die with a perfectly good life raft nearby."
1: "Lemme tell you, no one leaves you to die like Mr. Che!"
2: "Nope!"
[Both laugh]
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post #19 of 23
9/8/08 at 4:03pm
This thread = me likey.

Not to derail the fun, but wasn't there a deleted [or unfilmed] scene where the pilots were going to shoot the passengers, and Indy somehow caught a falling chicken egg while asleep? The pilots [superstitious lot they may be] decided not to directly harm them, but to abandon ship and let gravity take the blame? Or was that some type of fever dream I had as a young lad?

In any case, I agree with Keith-- Aykroyd knew what was goings on. Bastard.
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post #20 of 23
9/9/08 at 12:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by boots013 View Post
Not to derail the fun, but wasn't there a deleted [or unfilmed] scene where the pilots were going to shoot the passengers, and Indy somehow caught a falling chicken egg while asleep? The pilots [superstitious lot they may be] decided not to directly harm them, but to abandon ship and let gravity take the blame?
That doesn't derail shit. It's easily as silly as anything anyone's posted. The ol' catch-a-chicken-egg-while-sleeping-to-inspire-superstitious-dread trick?
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post #21 of 23
9/9/08 at 1:26am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
That doesn't derail shit. It's easily as silly as anything anyone's posted. The ol' catch-a-chicken-egg-while-sleeping-to-inspire-superstitious-dread trick?
That sounds more like something cut from Crystal Skull.
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post #22 of 23
9/9/08 at 8:16pm
Lao Che could have just put MORE poison in the antidote vial.

Kept his plane, the diamond, the girl, Nuerhachi. Everything.
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post #23 of 23
9/9/08 at 8:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
Lao Che could have just put MORE poison in the antidote vial.

Kept his plane, the diamond, the girl, Nuerhachi. Everything.
That would lack honor.
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