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The Troopergate Thread

post #1 of 7
9/10/08 at 2:07am
Thread Starter 
I'm so tired of the naming convention of every single political scandal. And here we are with another helping of "something-gate." In this case, its actually shaping up to be an interesting story and it deserves its own thread, dammit.

A quick recap... Palin's all lawyered up. The Repubs tried to get the guy in charge of the investigation removed but it didn't stick. A bunch of people who were going to testify all of a sudden clammed up. Now members of her staff have been subpoenaed. I thought the Palins tried to get the divorce records sealed. And now we may have some insight into why.
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post #2 of 7
9/10/08 at 2:22am
Sorry to be an ass, but: http://chud.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110997
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post #3 of 7
9/10/08 at 2:24am
Thread Starter 
Haha. No, I'll take the hit on this one.
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post #4 of 7
9/10/08 at 3:15am
Perhaps we could use this thread to start viciously untrue rumours.

Palin hates football. She thinks its 'boring.'

Source: "Football Sucks!" -Sarah Palin
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post #5 of 7
9/10/08 at 3:36am
Sarah Palin instituted draconian measures for recycling mandates.

Source: "If you don't sort the trash, I WILL!" - Sarah Palin
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post #6 of 7
9/10/08 at 6:24am
I think one of the worst stories is the one with that Alaskan national guard general that kept criticizing Palin, and who was then suddenly promoted and now praises her.

Are they looking into that?
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post #7 of 7
9/11/08 at 12:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhukov View Post
Perhaps we could use this thread to start viciously untrue rumours.[/URL]
Stolen from another forum...

Quote:
You know, in light of the new Obama "Education" ad, I think it's time to take it to the next level. Something to totally and irrevocably fuck any last semblance of courteous discourse in the media coverage of this election. That's right, it's time for the vicious "Sarah Palin is a Transsexual" rumor.

Note: I may or may not be a little high right now.

Our story starts with John McCain in Vietnam. And as we all know, Vietnam is the transsexual capital of the world. (Actually, Thailand is, but the average American doesn't know that. To them, the entirety of Southeast Asia is "Vietnam", because brown is brown, etc.) So anyway, McCain spends many years there and develops an attraction to the ladyboys. It has become his lifelong obsession.

This explains why he ditched his first wife after she got in a car accident. The injuries she sustained necessitated that she be castrated. This was no issue to her, and in many ways she was happily to finally be rid of her testicles. But John likes them pre-op, and though he tried to make it work, it was just never the same after that. John needs the balls.

So he hooks up with Cindy, and they have a wonderful relationship for many years (or whatever, you know, it doesn't matter). But recently, she has started thinking of finally getting SRS and becoming the woman she always has been inside. And the memories start flooding back to John, and he can't take it. It's the middle of a campaign, and he can't leave her. But the voice in his head eats away at him, the anxiety grows, and the craving in his heart will not subside. John looks to Jesus, but there is seemingly no answer. Until...

Enter Sarah. Long dark hair, legs that go all the way to the floor, and the biggest dick he'd ever seen on a woman. John falls for her hard. Here he sees the path to finally turn the page on a new chapter of his life. Why do you think she's been hidden away this past week and a half? John and Sarah have been fucking non-stop ever since the announcement. We all noticed how she strutted out onstage at the convention with the freshly-fucked feeling about her.

What about her kids you ask? Adopted. What about her husband? It's Alaska, they're ignorant hicks, he probably thinks she's just got one hell of a clitoris. Church membership? Textbook case of denial and/or averting suspicion. Avid hunter? Residual overcompensation from her years living as a guy. Also, why do you think she went to 5 schools in 6 years or whatever? A girl can only last so long before someone finds out.

It all falls into place, man. I believe it. You believe it. And America... America wants to believe. So say we all.
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