CHUD.com Community › Forums › POLITICS & RELIGION › Religion A-Z › beat satan, not your penis
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

beat satan, not your penis

post #1 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:36pm
Thread Starter 
http://baptistsforbrown2008.wordpres...ot-your-penis/

There's just too much. Discuss.
Reply
post #2 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:39pm
Quote:
When my son was born I masturbated just thinking about the day I could introduce him to masturbating.
Thank you for linking to that.
Reply
post #3 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:41pm
Quote:
Democrats practice self-abuse 10 times more often than Republicans due to their lack of morals
Please tell me that site is a hoax.
Reply
post #4 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:42pm
If it was real, it'd be the funniest thing on the internet
Reply
post #5 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:43pm
Thread Starter 
I pray it is real.
Reply
post #6 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:51pm
It's not, sadly.
Reply
post #7 of 23
9/18/08 at 12:55pm
It is real. I know because the bible saved me too.

I was a compulsive masturbator with nothing else on my mind than figuring out ways to unleash my seed in places not meant for it. I wallowed in sin, until I read the bible. The good book showed me the way. Now instead of masturbating I sleep with my brother's wife and God loves me again.
Reply
post #8 of 23
9/18/08 at 1:10pm
I discovered after reading My Dark Places that James Ellroy would jerk off for 12-16 hours straight while on a speed high. I kid you not.
Reply
post #9 of 23
9/18/08 at 1:13pm
I have no idea if that's real or not but either way some of the comments scare me.
Reply
post #10 of 23
9/18/08 at 1:28pm
This site led me here: http://www.truechristian.com/01.html

which led me here: http://www.truechristian.com/confessionboothx.html

that took me here: http://www.truechristian.com/kidzgurlz.html

then here: http://www.truechristian.com/kidzgurlzbleed.html

and here: http://www.truechristian.com/kidzcornsyrup.html

aaaaand finally here: http://www.truechristian.com/kidzatheists.html

What a beautiful place.
Reply
post #11 of 23
9/18/08 at 1:53pm
Thread Starter 
Renn, we follow the same path.
Reply
post #12 of 23
9/18/08 at 2:08pm
Quote:
Is Your Son or Husband Masturbating?
Look for the signs: ........, plastic sandwich bags, ....
WTF? Am I missing out on something fun?
Reply
post #13 of 23
9/18/08 at 2:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post
WTF? Am I missing out on something fun?
Hell yeah. You have to be at least a third generation masturbator to get initiated into the finer arts of masturbation though.
Reply
post #14 of 23
9/18/08 at 2:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan View Post
Hell yeah. You have to be at least a third generation masturbator to get initiated into the finer arts of masturbation though.
Dammit! Being self taught screws me again.
Reply
post #15 of 23
9/18/08 at 2:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post
WTF? Am I missing out on something fun?
Well, here are the basics.
Reply
post #16 of 23
9/18/08 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by McIrish View Post
Dammit! Being self taught screws me again.
lulz
Reply
post #17 of 23
9/18/08 at 3:26pm
If you're going to be an onanist, go all out. Make sure your seed hits the earth, not a tissue. Piss God off.
Reply
post #18 of 23
9/20/08 at 9:23pm
Quote:
The more you masturbate the better you become at controlling your orgasm when making love.
ABSOLUTELY fiction.

-sigh-
Reply
post #19 of 23
9/20/08 at 11:30pm
If "baptistsforbrown" was a euphemism for anal sex I think I'd have to convert.
Reply
post #20 of 23
9/20/08 at 11:52pm
I get worried when people post blatantly fake sites like this as possible real sites.
Reply
post #21 of 23
9/21/08 at 7:42am
You think that is shocking?
Look at this barbarity; http://www.shorty.com/bonsaikitten/
Someone should alert the authorities
Reply
post #22 of 23
9/21/08 at 6:46pm
Yeah, this site's pretty blatantly false, but I can't believe no one's commented on this yet:
Quote:
Repeated masturbation will lead to penile dysfunction, spinal injury, and prostate cancer.
Spinal injury ?!? I must be doing something wrong.

Also, that site led me here, which no doubt improves my vocabulary. I'll be using "rolling the fleshy blunt" and "taking a shake break" in the near future.
Reply
post #23 of 23
9/21/08 at 6:57pm
Please read the Legal Statement on the left. It's like Chrome older license.
Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Religion A-Z
CHUD.com Community › Forums › POLITICS & RELIGION › Religion A-Z › beat satan, not your penis