Tales of fancy hotels

At that price I'd be more inclined to fuck the bagel, than to eat it.

Steal the towels to make up for it.

I had a pizza in Zermatt that consisted of ultra-thin crust with a little sauce and salami rounds. That's it. 30 Swiss Francs, and the exchange rate is about 1:1. I will not discuss what they call an American hot dog except to say I've had American hot dogs and they was not them.

I made the mistake of ordering a Long Island Iced Tea at the Bellagio. I think it was like 16 dollars.

Wasn't even that strong either.

Honest (but probably stupid) question: I'm assuming the studio puts you up in such digs, but then do they give you some kind of per diem to cover shit like that? Do they pay for all room charges or is that your ten bucks?

The Cove Atlantis. $22USD for toast and fruit (room service). I think my Eggs Benedict were $40.

I've been lucky enough to stay in quite a few nice hotels in Europe and here in America, and the most glaring issue with all these hotels is lack of customer service. I'm only twenty two years old so I get more than a hint of elitism from the front desk, but they make it seem like me staying at their hotel should be enough for me. Asking for anything extra like a towel or room service is just me being an asshole.

I stayed at the Sofitel Hotel near San Fran for a business trip last December, and thank goodness it was on the company's dime. Most comfortable bed I've ever slept on though. Complimentary desserts and fancy drinking water in my room. And yes, I wore the robe.

Best hotels I've been to are in India. All flat screen HD tvs (with no HD stations), great service and usually nice amenities. The Leela Kempski and the Novotel have been good highlights so far.

The only problem is having to go to India.

See, everything else sounds great, but that is one of those little things that irritates the hell out of me. Bad form, India!

hah, been there a bunch of times on their dime as well. Really nice place, love the bar. Always funny when a bunch of games journalists are hogging the place and being a helluva lot louder than they're used to.

Ya read my mind man *high five*

It's a universal truth in hospitality and the service industry that the more a base service costs (room rate, club membership...etc...), the more everything else will cost, as well.

...friend of mine works at a ridiculous country club/resort in West Palm Beach where the annual membership fee is $100k. The bar doesn't even serve wells. We're talking $15 minimum per drink.

Ridiculous country club/resort in West Palm Beach eh? You're friend doesn't work at Bushwood does he?

I don't know what that means.

No well drinks. Top shelf stuff only.

QFT. And beautiful marble everywhere, although this is also a function of the humidity destroying any other surface.

He might be talking about Maralago.

The best hotel stay I've ever had was in a mountain in on the edge of the Lauterbrunnen Valley. No flat-screen TV (or power, or heat, or running water in my room), but fresh farm-grown food and lots of it, cooked by a Swiss woman who looked like a Campbell's Kid writ large.

The best hotel I was ever in was the Fairmont Royal York in Toronto, we were in the Governor General Suite ($1,700 a night). It was a pretty friggin sweet ass suite. The beds... oh so comfy! One of them walk in shower deals and a bidet! Two seperate rooms and a big living room style area. Nice view of the Rogers Centre and Air Canada Centre and the CN Tower. The pool at the hotel was nice as well.

I had a frigging apartment at the Luxor for a week, and I'm typing this from one of the nicer suites I've had. But it's in Florida, so everything is damp to the touch.

I've found the Four Seasons to be not all that, and my favorite hotel stay was probably at the W in Montreal. I wouldn't have ordered the bagel, whole, half or otherwise, but I do get a charge out of spending decadent amounts of money away from home. You can always make more.

A tale of a decidedly un-fancy hotel. Actually, the place was pretty damn fucking crappy. Anywho, I directed a short film in Boston a couple years back in said hotel, and discovered partway through filming that apparently some of the 9/11 hijackers had stayed there the night before. That always left a very bad taste in my mouth, but I guess technically that's not enough cause to knock down a hotel.

The most awesome hotel I've stayed in was the Pyramida hotel in Prague.
It's a pyramid-ish shaped monstrosity from the communist era, and it had been renovated the year before i stayed there (2002).
Funny thing was it felt like being in some kind of late sixties theme-park, everything was brown and beige, with the occasional orange couch. I almost felt like drinking dry martinis and slapping women around.

dp..

Why do "nicer" hotels all charge for internet access when I can get it for free from a freakin' Motel 6? Because they can?

The Mirage in Vegas was pretty swanky. Also the Portofino Bay at Universal Studios was really nice, considering it was a theme park hotel. We stayed at a Westin in Atlanta that was really nice--it was done up sort of modern-style, and had two 46" LCD TVs--one in the main room and one in the bedroom.

Food is always hilarious in these hotels. At one place, I was getting a bowl of cereal each morning, and with added gratuity, etc., it was like $17 a pop. I could go and buy a cheap styrofoam cooler, milk, plastic bowls and utensils, and a box of cereal for less than $17.

The Mecur (sp) at Luxor in Eygpt. 5 star hotel with a room overlooking the Nile. No flat screen TV but to be honest I was there to sightsee not to watch TV.

As nice that one was I suspect it will be eclipsed by our Honnymoon hotel in Antigua .


Side question, when you guys stay in a hotel do you tend to go all inclusive or just opt for B&B?

I stay at pretty nice hotels in my job, but I wish they'd put us up at Residence Inns instead. The rooms are big, the internet's free, and the breakfast is usually pretty good. Fuck flagship hotels and their "2% for looking in the mirror twice" rates.

I think the whole point of many of these hotels is to just keep you in them so you don't have to bother with the pollution and extreme poverty surrounding the place. However for me, I like to wonder around the city to be quite honest.

The Leela in Mumbai has a nice zero-entry pool area , if you don't mind the mosquitoes. Actually, one of the guys with us refused to buy his Malaria medication and panicked when I pointed out to him they were fumigating the pool area outside because of mosquitoes. He was paranoid for the rest of the trip.

But the Novotel in Hyderabad is my favorite in India so far, I'm sure there are nicer hotels but this one is more modern and has decent entertainment on the weekends if you have to stay more than a few days. It also has a very large fenced area if you want to ride a bicycle, however the guards won't let you venture outside of it for fear that you might get run over by the city traffic.

You've mentioned that you fly for an airliner. Is there any truth to the Aircraft Commander (is that a civvie term?) getting the nicest room out of the flight deck crew?

Nice, a Les Mis drop on CHUD!

Nope. At least, not in my airline.

In my experience many nice hotels include breakfast in the cost. And you can really gorge yourself. Coffee, Fruit salad, then a fry-up with those chipolata sausages and very greasy bacon. Then, to top all of some of those mini pain au chocolates and pain au raisins. and more coffee.

Edit: Not paying attention post

Also to note, Ramada Inns: Best hotels to masturbate in.

Goddammit Ed!

When you consider that there's no prep for that (and you aren't allowed to keep the dishes, silverware, etc), that mark-up is completely for the delivery to your room. So why do they expect a tip?
And no, he's not being paid to say that.

Ah mate, you should have gone for a stroll. There are LOADS of places to eat 10 minutes walk away in places like Victoria and Regent Street. You should never eat on posh hotels in the UK as they are horrendously expensive for food, drink, tea/coffee etc.

That's what I did for a late breakfast there last week. Had a great dish of grilled vegetable, rice, and a roll for something like three pounds. That's either 27 cents or a a hundred and fifty dollars. I'm not sure.

From opposite spectrums:

The last fancy hotel I stayed in was a Marriott a couple of years ago. I was a wedding guest and ended up spending three days there. Not bad, really.

I have stayed at some real flophouses though.

One hotel I sayed at...it was in a small town somewhere in the Southwest. Not that I wanted to stay there but it was the only hotel around for miles.
A two story cube covered with faded yellow paint and shedding gray tiles from the roof, the rusty sign out front offering "Air conditioning!" and "Television!" If this was still considered a draw in 2001, then something sinister was lurking behind the door to my room. The tiny office was overseen by a short and skinny guy wearing a too-tight T-shirt, cracker crumbs in the 20-day stubble wreathing his pinched face, stubbed out Swisher Sweets filling the ash tray on the desk. I registered and he handed me my key, never saying a word the whole time. I got to my room and was immediately struck by the smell - a jarring combination of cigarette smoke, beer, AmWay carpet cleaning solution, and bologna.
The carpet was an abstract of stains, the torn drapes ran the color spectrum from original white to yellow to nicotine stain brown. One light worked. The bed's box spring was broken in the center, so it tended to fold up on you when you sat on it. The shower head was missing, leaving a sawed-off pipe sticking straight out of the wall. (Great for power-washing your forehead, but inadequate for most anything else.) There was a practically vintage TV with some bent up antenna that only fuzzily and intermittently picked up a Spanish language station.

That was not the worst place I've stayed, though.