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Fail Draft : Discussion - Page 10

post #451 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Martin: Awesome BADNESS of 'Ultraviolet'? So awesomely bad that it's good?
Are you referencing the awesome power of LOG in that statement?
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post #452 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
Martin: Awesome BADNESS of 'Ultraviolet'? So awesomely bad that it's good?
Pretty much. It's an awesome movie. So bad it's good indeed. Glorious.

There's a group called the Blood Chinois. Why the fuck would you have a name both English AND French? Then I realized I was thinking too much, and went back to Jack.

Daniel, that is.
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post #453 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:20pm
ah...so you're saying that 'Ultraviolet' requires heavy sedation to enjoy...gotcha. I'll try it with a fifth of Johnny Walker Green someday.
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post #454 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:21pm
Great pick Anderson. Green Berets is a truly shitty, offensive film.
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post #455 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson View Post


It fails because it's a shitty war film. It's got a shitty theme song. It was actually used successfully to brainwash kids into getting killed for a Commie land-skirmish. It also fails because it was yet another example of Wayne taking studio money to fund his later bullshit movies.
What do you mean by this?

The movie is a failure because, ideology aside, it doesn't work as a film. Wayne wasn't up to the task of what he undertook. Updating the tropes of the Western, especially The Alamo, in order to depict Vietnam was sort of interesting (if wrong-headed & hopelessly conservative) idea. Wish it at least succeded on its own terms.

Hope that last remark wasn't a dig at McQ!
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post #456 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:24pm
Chris and Elvis are up, right?
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post #457 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:24pm
Mattimus is late...next group, you're up.
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post #458 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Elvis View Post
What do you mean by this?

The movie is a failure because, ideology aside, it doesn't work as a film. Wayne wasn't up to the task of what he undertook. Updating the tropes of the Western, especially The Alamo, in order to depict Vietnam was sort of interesting (if wrong-headed & hopelessly conservative) idea. Wish it at least succeded on its own terms.
It was a shitty film that was used for shitty purposes. That is fail.

It didn't succeed on its own terms. Fuck, Wayne couldn't get the first cut to make any goddamn sense. So, WB had Kellogg reshoot the action and Mervyn Leroy was forced on Wayne to revamp the film.

Hence, why there's no Vera Miles and David Jansson becomes the choral character explaining away the action.
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post #459 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:27pm
I didn't think anyone had actually seen Swept Away.
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post #460 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:27pm
I generally avoid all things Madonna, so I never saw 'Swept Away'. Was viewing this film as punishing as I suspect?

edited for clarity.
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post #461 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:30pm
It's difficult to make a man beating a woman funny, even if played by Madonna at her bitchiest. In Swept Away, it's not just supposed to be funny, but cheer-worthy. In light of what happened to that relationship, it's an even more fucked up movie.
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post #462 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:31pm
Jedi? This shit just got real.
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post #463 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:32pm
I don't know you Fat Elvis, but I love you.
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post #464 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:32pm
Yeah. It ain't of the caliber of the first 2, but it's not shit.

Pro: Leia and the Golden Bikini

Con: Ewoks.
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post #465 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:33pm
I'll agree on RotJ being a fail. The very fact that Han Solo is turned from being an awesome, edgy rogue into comic relief is a flat out CRIME.
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post #466 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:33pm
I think the defense on Jedi can be summed up by one word: Ewoks.
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post #467 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:33pm
I don't care about anything Star Wars at this point. Someone could pick Empire and I could give a shit.
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post #468 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
Someone could pick Empire and I could give a shit.
FAIL!

You mean, you couldn't give a shit, right?
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post #469 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:35pm
Man, I tried to watch Jedi recently on Spike. I've never seen the special edition of it, and haven't watched the original cut since the early 90's.

What a piece of shit. I've always stood by the first half hour, the great stuff in Jabba's palace, but that's even fucked up by new CGI dancing plush toys. Sorry, I no this is a complaint straight out of 97, but bear with me. Rest of the movie sucks, too.

Will never get over the fact that Han let Lando pilot the Falcon. Fuck that.
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post #470 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:35pm
Godfather III. And one of the big ones drops off the table.

Also, I will stand by anything in Jedi involving Yoda, Vader, Luke, and The Emperor, but otherwise I continue to see it as the weakest film in the saga.
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post #471 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:35pm
Thread Starter 
Judas god dammit!
that was my pick

FUCK YOU!
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post #472 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:37pm
We've gone from tiny little jabs to big looping uppercuts.
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post #473 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:37pm
I was eyeballing Godfather 3 also. Fuck you. Can't believe that piece of shit got an Oscar nom.
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post #474 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:38pm
Eh, The Godfather III only fails because of what came before it. Not counting a certain infamous performance, it's not an absolutely terrible crime drama.

Middling, yes, not worthy of the Godfather name, without a doubt, but not the epic shitstorm that it's made out to be.
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post #475 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:39pm
Its good to look at and Garcia's pretty good. But wow, how to taint a franchise. Robocop's one thing, but this was The Godfather, y'all.
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post #476 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:39pm
Regarding 'The Godfather: Part III': It's not in the same league as the first 2 movies. The fact that this was nominated for best picture is a flat out joke.

- The tone is all wrong. Instead of being subdued, it's bombastic.
- The look is all wrong. The soft focus of the first two is gone with the change in film stock.
- Drama is replaced with violence.
- Pacino is inexcusably bad in this, overacting to compensate for Sofia Coppola.
- Winona Ryder drops out and is replaced, via nepotism, with Sofia Coppola. Everyone tried to talk some sense into FFC, but he would not relent.
- FFC and Duvall have a falling out over money. In revenge, Duvall is written out of the movie, has his death explained away briefly, and is replaced with the walking tan that is George Hamilton.
- There are many unintentionally funny scenes in this movie, mainly at the end (Michael's silent scream of agony, his terrible makeup as an old man, his header into the ground when he dies).

Francis Ford Coppola...What happened to him?
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post #477 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:39pm
Thread Starter 
But that's exactly why it's such a fail. If you are going to revive the best franchise in the history of cinema, you can't do it with a mediocre entry.
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post #478 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:40pm
Tati...sorry, man. I keep taking your picks.
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post #479 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:43pm
Godfather III's not necessarily a bad film. As was said about another film, if someone else had made Godfather III, it'd be a pretty strong film to have on your resume. But it is definitely fail.
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post #480 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:43pm
Fuck an Ewok!

People always talk about the sacred "Original Trilogy". That offends me, because the third is in no way operating on the same level as the others. Lucas blew it.

How? Why? Greed. Fear. I don't know. The story beats were there to make the whole thing end with a satisfying conclusion. Instead, he replaced a planet of Wookies with cuddly Muppet teddy bears.

And if you want to up the stakes, and repeat the same Death Star battle, there's got to be sacrifice (not counting Darth). Someone had to die.

Lucas wimped out. He sold his artistic soul (and a lot of toys).
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post #481 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:44pm
if nothing else, it utterly and completely fails to live up to the two films prededing it...

That above sentence could apply to BOTH of the latest entries, actually. 'Return of the Jedi' and 'The Godfather: Part III' are a good double shot of identical fail in many ways.
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post #482 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:45pm
'Return of the Jedi' is a victim of the merchandising machine that the Star Wars universe created. Notice how we all knew that they were called Ewoks, even though they are never called that in the movie?
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post #483 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:47pm
I'll sum up my problem with GF3 like this-you don't replace Robert Duvall (the underrated heart of the first two) with for all intents and purposes George fucking Hamilton!
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post #484 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:49pm
It's absolutely wonderful that Duval turned down III. Even if to do something equally shitty, it's so admirable.
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post #485 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:50pm
I forgot about that in my summary.
- FFC and Duvall have a falling out over money. In revenge, Duvall is written out of the movie, has his death explained away briefly, and is replaced with the walking tan that is George Hamilton.

gratz, Fat Elvis.
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post #486 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:53pm
Okay, time to stun everyone and wade in to defend Jedi....

Jabba's palace has some nice nods to the previous two films and the banter between Luke and Han when they're first reunited feels like Star Wars, but too much of it is too damn goofy. The middle of the film just drags on, and the less said about the Luke/Leia conversation, the better. But then along comes that scene with Luke and Vader, and dammit, the film starts to right itself, and by the time the three battles are going on, the film is on fucking rails. The only thing the Special Edition improved on was the grand finale -- it made it seem like a true galactic victory, and Williams' new score has the right mix of elation and melancholy.

Jedi is 1/3 okay, 1/3 bad, and 1/3 great, but at least they saved the great for last.
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post #487 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:56pm
The only good things about it are the Golden Bikini and the space battle at the end. That's it. The Vader/Luke duel was ok, but the fight on Endor is shit on a stick.
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post #488 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:58pm
When I heard that they were doing special editions, I was most excited about the prospect of them updating the special effects of the speeder bike chase. As fun as that sequence is/was, the effects could use a serious touch up. The fact that this wasn't modified at all is an epic fail.
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post #489 of 1962
9/23/08 at 12:59pm
And then it all ends with Hayden Christiansen standing next to Alec Guiness. Yeah!!!!!
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post #490 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:01pm
I've actually come to really like that touch, but then, I'm the asshole who drafted Episode III.
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post #491 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:01pm
The more I think of it, the more I like that choice Elvis. And the worse: it spawned those horrible Ewoks movies, including the giant spider one!
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post #492 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:01pm
Jedi was my favorite when I was a kid, and, because that was when I really liked Star Wars, I can hardly fault Jedi. It had monsters and worlds that caught my imagination. Does it work as well now? No, but neither do the others, and I never watch them either.

Once we were old enough to realize why Empire was the best Star Wars movie, we were pretty much outgrowing them. They're kids movies.
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post #493 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I've actually come to really like that touch, but then, I'm the asshole who drafted Episode III.
and your space in hell has been thusly reserved.
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post #494 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:06pm
I'm more than ready to defend my pick, but I'm going home in a minute, so I'll update later - suffice to say, its the worst summer blockbuster I ever paid to see and a personal pick. But I can defend it, don't worry about that.
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post #495 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:07pm
I'll back your play on that one, Sackley. Horrible, horrible movie.
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post #496 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:07pm
Thread Starter 
Lost in Space is atrocious. All the casting is completely wrong. Except Oldman, he's great. Until he turns into a spider.
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post #497 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:09pm
Blair Witch Project in no way fails. You might even say it's an enormous success. I'm not saying it's a good movie, particularly, but it worked.
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post #498 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:09pm
Blair Witch is not fail.
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post #499 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:10pm
Thread Starter 
It was a marketing scheme. And nothing more. The "movie" itself is horrible.
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post #500 of 1962
9/23/08 at 1:10pm
Damn, Sackley, that was on my list.
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