Someone assassinate Brett Ratner...

Yes, let's murder a guy who more than likely reads CHUD.

Please forward this to Dragon Dynasty.

Why does this matter, exactly?

The element of surprise, Gabe! It's all about surprise!

I'd at least like the pleasure of raping him first.

My sources told me that he uses Ad-Block though. He brought it on himself.

Jesus Christ, let's have some perspective.

With all the Dane Cooks and Carlos Mencias roaming freely, and you want to start with this guy?

And you've already given him the upper hand by using the term "assassinate". That's usually used for heads of state, dignitaries, etc. I think you want to go with the common murder here.

wait, you guys DON'T wanna see a Joker movie starring Chris Tucker?

Brett Ratner's Batman

That's all.

He doesn't get what made the Joker so menacing (besides his motives and Heath's performance) in TDK. At all.

"Who gives a shit? Six million a movie and Serena Williams' vag, bitches!"

Is that Tati?

To be fair, I always thought that Robert Downey Jr. would have been a fantastic Joker pre-Iron Man.

But the rest of this talk? Pure vile. Don't want to hear it coming out of this hack's mouth.

I'm still voting for Benicio Del Toro if Miller's The Dark Knight Returns ever gets made.

If Brett Ratner's films are the worst you've ever seen, then you haven't seen enough movies to call yourself a film enthusiast. Honestly, this whole Internet George Orwell "Two Minutes Hate" thing against Ratner is beyond silly. He's so far from being the worst filmmaker in the system that it makes all of you look ridiculous. He's simply unremarkable, and doesn't know it. That's his crime. And if you rail against Ratner, but continue to watch Uwe Boll films because you think they're hilarious, you should think about eating a bullet.

I think the hate for Ratner stems not from any critiques leveled at his technical skill (the guy can shoot a movie), or his storytelling skills (he gets the way from point A to B) but from the fact that he proudly makes movies that aren't about anything. Uwe Boll is trying to start a revolution. Michael Bay is trying to make shit explode bigger and better. What's Ratner's goal? What's the connective tissue between his films? And, stickier, what values do they express? Ratner's choice in projects reflects who he is, a person with limited life experience coming from a background of music videos, an art form that prizes materialistic, shallow behavior. There are a lot of filmmakers a lot like him, but do they get material as juicy as an "X-Men" sequel or a Thomas Harris novel, or stars like Edward Norton, Pierce Brosnan and Hugh Jackman? What's most damning is that you could look at Boll's body of work and see an "artist" who's actually improving, who's trying to give his work some weight. Is there a stronger storytelling focus between "Money Talks" and his most recent, "Rush Hour 3"? None.

Brett Ratner deserves all the hate he gets.

While some of your points work, a lack of connective tissue is a dangerous thing to criticize a filmmaker for. Not every director has a cohesive vision that runs through all of their work. Look at Alan Parker. What do Fame, Pink Floyd The Wall, Midnight Express, Bugsy Malone, and Angel Heart have to do with each other? Not bloody much. That doesn't make him a weak or unfocused filmmaker.

As for your other points, it seems that what you're saying is that Ratner deserves the hate because he's achieved a level of success that gets him stars and budgets. Is being more successful than he deserves a reason for hate? Sounds a little like jealousy, frankly.

Brett Ratner makes nothing films. It's not a sliding scale of garbage- the guy just makes empty films that don't even entirely pay off in nakedly aesthetic terms. That would be no big deal if he were making Super-8 shorts in his backyard, but have few people in Hollywood done less with more? He represents soulless, vacuous, selfish values, and Hollywood rewards him for it. He should probably be ignored as opposed to hated, but the vibe the guy gives off in interviews, even beyond his films, is purely toxic.

I hate Brett Ratner because I've met him and he is a raging douche. Is that a good enough reason?

Only if you share the story!

I can vouch for this as well.

I like to hear that story.

I'm actually a few degrees separated from Ratner in a way...

I knew this really attractive ladyfriend who recently got a job working in some office building where she shared space with the recent "New York, I Love You" production, which features a Ratner short. Apparently, Ratner could not stop propositioning her, telling her, "I'm Brett Ratner. A lot of women want to sleep with me. Do you wanna go out for drinks sometime?" This was a DAILY THING.

Ok, I've made it public knowledge around here, but I run one of L.A. most famous/infamous video stores, Cinefile video. I realize that working at a video store carries a sort of stigma these days, but I am proud of our store and the work I do there. We are a treasure trove of high brow/low bow stuff you can't find anywhere else, we make cool director shirts, we are featured in ads and movies (heavily so in the upcoming indie GOOD DICK) and it is just an all around kick-ass place to work. I am the manager of the store and the right hand man of the owner (who's one of my best friends) so I don't have to take shit from anyone. Ever. It's still retail and I still deal with the public, but as far as retail goes its basically Nirvana. It pays the bills and allows me time for creative pursuits.

Sorry if I come off at all defensive. Being seen by the public as a caricature will do that to you.

Anyway, because of our notoriety and location we handle studio folk and celebrities all the time; its basically how we survive. Now 99.9% of the time its fine: most celebrities are at the least well behaved and sometimes extremely cool. But once in a great while you get a nutjob (ahem, Faye Dunaway. I know, what a shock) or worse, a creative type with a chip on their shoulder. Ratner is such a type.

Now I wouldn't say he's an aggressive asshole or anything. He just a douche. We've dealt with him on more than one occasion, and he never fails to let us know who he is. He usually has a bimbo on his arm, and can often times be demanding and insulting to the clerks. One time -- and I'll fully admit the clerk instigated this -- he asked where he could find MANHUNTER and the clerk said,"You mean the good version of the story?" (This was post RED DRAGON. Why he didn't already own it is baffling to me.) Instead of handling it with good humor, Ratner asked the clerk where he had gone to college to get his job and proceeded to belittle him.

There have been other minor incidents, but mostly he just comes in acting like the cock-of-the walk and gives us 'tude because he knows we don't respect him.

I don't know, I would have told the clerk to go fuck himself too.

I have so many questions about that story that are only relevant on a message board.

-Why do people as rich as Ratner still go to DVD rental stores?
-Why would he want to see Manhunter NOW?
-Was he just having trouble finding it himself?
-How did this confrontation end? Did the clerk back down? Did Ratner leave?
-Was there no one around to back up the clerk?
-What were the OTHER MINOR INCIDENTS?

I am starved for anti-Brett Ratner stories. I can't explain why.

Yeah, like I said, the clerk (who wasn't me, I swear) brought it on himself, and a 'fuck you' wouldn't have been unwarranted. But Ratner went further in trying to belittle him which was a real sign of his own insecurities. It's this thing he carries around all the time. He knows he isn't highly regarded by film fans, and whenever faced with it he throws this "Yeah well I make money!" tude around.

Uve Boll knows everyone hates him but he handles it with good humor. I respect people who can do that regardless of their egregious lack of talent.

A shiny penny to the person who can explain why he's Dragon Dynasty's go-to guy for DVD filler when they can't get any of the actual talent for a film to show up. Why not some random jackass from the internet? The name recognition is about the same, and the random jackass from the internet would probably be able to tell the difference between Brigitte Lin and Maggie Cheung, something Ratner proved unable to do on his commentary for POLICE STORY.

Hahah, these Ratner tales are awesome.

Please, keep them coming. I guess because my interest in the entertainment industry is more about filmmakers/behind-the-scenes people, these 'filmmaker gone bad' stories are like what the gossip stuff on E! must be like for other folks.

And the stories about Ratner's wild, in-your-face attempts to pick up women almost seem too out there to be true. Almost.

Dude, you'd be amazed at the sort of shit that goes down. I've sold copies of BLADE RUNNER to Ridley Scott's production company several times. Filmmakers come in all the time to rent or buy copies of their own movies. Also, you assume famous filmmakers must be these lovers of cinema themselves, but often times it just isn't true. Making movies is their jobs -- they aren't always fans. I'd be willing to bet Ratner hadn't spent much time with Michael Mann's film. Too many bimbos to chase after, and that coke isn't gonna snort itself.
A guy with Ratner's air of entitlement doesn't find things for themselves, especially if they think they can get some peon to do it for them.

It was years ago so I don't remember, but both parties brushed it off, it didn't get all crazy. Ratner is smart enough to know throwing a fit won't get him anywhere with us. We have that sort of rep, for better or worse.

If this thread goes to three pages I'll drop another. Nothing where he freaks out, just an amusing tale involving him. As far as major tantrums go I don't have anything. I imagine he saves those for his PA's.

Well, now I have to find a pathetic way to get this thread to three pages!

Please tell more of these stories!

I'll just drop by here and make a small contribution to the "let's get this thread to page 3" fund.

Why murder a guy who makes mediocre movies? It's not like anyone actually thinks his films are decent, like say, Michael Bay.

Ratner's fatter and slower, so there's less chance for escape. It would take a much bigger budget operation to take down Bay, even though he's a worthier target. Gotta walk before you can crawl. That was a typo but I'm leaving it as is.

Doing my part to pad the thread out.

For the record I don't think Ratner is a horrible filmmaker, just the epitome of mediocrity. It's his personality that I find objectionable. And I don't think he needs to be killed. The drugs and venereal diseases will accomplish that eventually anyway.

I just want to say that hating him personally is valid. I just think it's an odd feeling to have about someone you've never met, unless they've been in the Bush administration.

I'll drop a story and a few pictures, later tonight.

Is somebody going to do a "Let's assasinate Paul Anderson" Thread?

If we're talking PTA then sure. But I'd take a bullet for the auteur who gave us EVENT HORIZON.

And Mortal Kombat as well.

I just have this image of Bay ducking and rolling through explosions. I bet that fucker's the hardest guy in Hollywood to assassinate.

Fuckin' Explodo, man.

Posting for page 3 and more stories

The remainder of page 2 should be filled with hateful posts about how holding out for three pages before dishing more is total bullshit.

I'm happy to fill up a good page or so with retarded Danny Glover LETHAL WEAPON quotes if it will help us reach our goal. Gruber, are you up to the challenge?

I'll start:

EY EY HUMAN DAVALLUPMENT?
WHAT
HUMAN DAVALLUPMENT?
WHAT
TRISH

*soothing sax*

Yeh anuthu day anuthu hobbeh whuts new?

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Does anyone think that Ratner's filmmaking will ever evolve, though?

Like, maybe in five years he'll suddenly get a 'click' moment and decide to shoot an introspective, art film, with unknown actors with a $2mil budget?

Me neither. :\

Judging from his 'Entourage' cameo, he's happy with his image as coke-snorting, vag-annihilator.