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And you thought bats were cool...

post #1 of 15
10/2/08 at 5:41am
Thread Starter 
So I'm nodding off in front of the TV, a day in the life. I'm drunk, a bit stoned and ready for bed. I sit down, take off my trousers when, all of a sudden, this FUCKING HUGE BAT flies into my room! Now you can imagine I was quite perplexed. I always thought bats used their echo/sonar/whatever system to NOT fly into houses! I mean, my frigging light was on! So there I am, caught with my pants down by this beast (maybe it wasn't that big, but it freaked me out). I'm thinking: What the FUCK am I going to do now? Just as I'm about to get up, it's gone, but not through the window... It's on its way upstairs, where the rest of my family are sleeping. SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! I equip myself with a maglight, blanket and nerves of steel and creep up. This thing is whizzing around chirping like it's nobodys business (I didn't know bats chirped). I get up, fling the blanket over it and wait... Eventually, the flapping stops and I wrap it up. The moment I get downstairs, the thing goes batshit (no pun intended) and somehow escapes. I fling myself to the ground, scared shitless, hoping that nobody sees me in this position. I sum up my courage and get up, but alas, the bat is gone. Next morning I found some guano in the living room. Nobody believed me. They thought I had some sort of flashback from bad LSD. I thought it was a subconscious thing because of TDK and I had a mental connection to bats. Either way, it was fucking scary... And I was half-naked all the time.

Just thought I might share that with you.
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post #2 of 15
10/2/08 at 8:23am
Funny you should mention bats & LSD in the same post. Once while indulging in that very substance in college, I went to a park with my fellow trippers, and as the sun started to go down and we headed back to the car to leave, I kept hearing this weird chirping sound, which seemed to be coming from the ground all around us. I thought maybe there were some ground nesting birds in the area, and was walking all careful and shit so as not to step on any. Then one of my companions (who hadn't indulged) pointed out it was in fact the echoes of the sonar being used by the bats that were circling overhead, looking to pick off the night time insects we were stirring up with our less than graceful romp thru the grass. All in all, pretty trippy. Thankfully, though, no one had a close encounter.
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post #3 of 15
10/2/08 at 12:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by willywayne View Post
II'm thinking: What the FUCK am I going to do now?
Strike fear into the hearts of criminals?
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post #4 of 15
10/2/08 at 12:20pm
Yeah really -- a bat flies through your window and you're not out beating up criminals while wearing a bat suit the very next day? For shame.
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post #5 of 15
10/2/08 at 12:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Yeah really -- a bat flies through your window and you're not out beating up criminals while wearing a bat suit the very next day? For shame.
You're forgetting "the exorbitantly wealthy parents being murdered" part of the equation.
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post #6 of 15
10/2/08 at 12:26pm
Oh, that can be taken care of with a lottery ticket and a gun.
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post #7 of 15
10/2/08 at 2:10pm
Probably flew inside after a bug (bugs are attracted to light). Down here in FL, the treefrogs hang by our windows (on the sill, in a bush, etc) at night b/c the bugs bounce off the glass and congregate there, attracted to the light inside.

In college, I spend a good chunk of an afternoon trying to capture a squirrel in my room who had gotten in through a downstairs window. He was stealing my bread from a loaf on top of a shelf. I was living on the 3rd floor and had no windows that I could open, so I chased him around the room with a blanket, while wearing nothing but a towel. I snagged him, brought him outside, and let him loose, but he zipped right back into the house through a different window someone left open. Luckily my room's door was shut, so he wasn't my problem anymore.
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post #8 of 15
10/2/08 at 2:34pm
I once found a squirrel carrying a full canteen out of a tent. Suckers are strong, clever, and will take over this world one day, mark my words. On the bat note, I remember there being a similar story posted here one time.
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post #9 of 15
10/2/08 at 2:46pm
Bat Country.
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post #10 of 15
10/2/08 at 3:00pm
Yes. At any time did you shout "Holy jesus! What are these god damned animals!?"
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post #11 of 15
10/2/08 at 3:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
I once found a squirrel carrying a full canteen out of a tent. Suckers are strong, clever, and will take over this world one day, mark my words.
I took my daughter to the playground and found a squirrel in her stroller eating the goldfish crackers that were in a closed tupperware container. Crafty little buggers.
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post #12 of 15
10/2/08 at 10:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
so I chased him around the room with a blanket, while wearing nothing but a towel.
Is it, like, a requirement that when chasing an intruding bat, one must be in a state of at least partial undress? Just wondering, so I can do it right if it ever happens to me.
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post #13 of 15
10/3/08 at 3:26am
Here's one that doesn't involve a state of undress.

My dad suffered a knee injury a few years back and didn't preach standing up in the pulpit, instead sitting on a chair in front of the altar. During the sermon one Sunday much to everyone's surprise a bat arrives in through the side door. It flies around the altar and up in the rafters. People are chattering and pointing and generally bugging the fuck out of my dad because he can't see what's going on. That is until the bat swoops by his head. It ends up in the choir loft where somebody managed to throw a towel onto it and wrap it up and take it outside.

After a few minutes of general chaos my dad simply says "Well, never try to follow up an animal act" and ends the sermon.
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post #14 of 15
10/3/08 at 3:26am
EDIT: First time I've done that in a while.
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post #15 of 15
10/4/08 at 8:27am
Thread Starter 
My parents are not wealthy and I'm not vigilante material... Actually I did wake my father up shouting obscenities and curses. I wish I had taken pictures, but this thing was too fast. I was hopping about like a fucking imbecile. 'Sweet Jesus, look at the WINGS on that creature!'

But since the topic of halluginogenic experiences with animals has been brought up, here's one:

The first time I went tripping, we congealed to this blubbering, sizzling mass of bodies on a blanket in our local Arboretum. It was very profound and I can only recommend psychedelic gatherings. This was all very nice, very... different, but the most remarkable thing was the way I experienced wildlife. There was a kennel nearby. The dogs were barking the whole time, like a bass line. woofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoofwoof. Occasionally we'd see horses from the local stables, large and majestic. Insects on the ground were studied, wasps evaded and spiders... It wasn't scary, but there was something about spiders that day. The thing was, nobody even remembered the horses, wasps or spiders. It was only me! I can't explain it...

Hands up if you've had to say 'I can't explain it' a MILLION times when discussing your experiences with psycho-active substances...
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