Let's try to keep some sort of format to this. It may be a bit of pointless fan-casting/wanking, but it could be fun. Let's try to keep this to films that have been remade, and failed, and could have conceivably been made in the same year. So no, David Fincher couldn't have remade everything.
The damage has already been done, where could they have gone instead?
Rollerball(2002)
What went wrong:
Director: John McTiernan, responsible for two of the greatest action films ever(one of which is arguably a perfect modern action film), and a fantastic thriller, fucked up. His remake of the 1975 James Caan-starring, Norman Jewison-directed film is a hyperactive, over-edited, miscast mess(Chris Klein? Hahahaha). The sport itself doesn't even make any sense, something the original made almost crystal clear. With McTiernan(even if he was past his "prime"), this should have turned out decent. But nope, it's awful.
Where they should have gone:
Rollerball(2002*)
Director: Paul Verhoeven, who would bring the ultra-violence, dark comedy, and social commentary this remake could have used. Also, there's a good chance the film(and sport depicted within) would be coherent.
Cast:
Jonathan- An unknown, but charismatic actor, who has better acting chops than Casper Van Dien, and is a good bit older.
The rugged co-star of the sport(Moonpie in the original)- Clancy Brown
The evil ratings-craving overlord: Gary Oldman(being British, for the first time in a while)? Christopher Walken? Caan himself?
The retired idol/mentor- Arnold, or Sly(probably a better choice). Either would work well.
*Totally making up for Hollow Man, which squandered an awesome concept, yet provided us with some great CHUD DVD review screengrab captions over the years, thanks mostly to Nick.
The damage has already been done, where could they have gone instead?
Rollerball(2002)
What went wrong:
Director: John McTiernan, responsible for two of the greatest action films ever(one of which is arguably a perfect modern action film), and a fantastic thriller, fucked up. His remake of the 1975 James Caan-starring, Norman Jewison-directed film is a hyperactive, over-edited, miscast mess(Chris Klein? Hahahaha). The sport itself doesn't even make any sense, something the original made almost crystal clear. With McTiernan(even if he was past his "prime"), this should have turned out decent. But nope, it's awful.
Where they should have gone:
Rollerball(2002*)
Director: Paul Verhoeven, who would bring the ultra-violence, dark comedy, and social commentary this remake could have used. Also, there's a good chance the film(and sport depicted within) would be coherent.
Cast:
Jonathan- An unknown, but charismatic actor, who has better acting chops than Casper Van Dien, and is a good bit older.
The rugged co-star of the sport(Moonpie in the original)- Clancy Brown
The evil ratings-craving overlord: Gary Oldman(being British, for the first time in a while)? Christopher Walken? Caan himself?
The retired idol/mentor- Arnold, or Sly(probably a better choice). Either would work well.
*Totally making up for Hollow Man, which squandered an awesome concept, yet provided us with some great CHUD DVD review screengrab captions over the years, thanks mostly to Nick.
