Advise the McCain Campaign

Give up! (sorry)

Use the word "Maverick" more.

Say "My Friends" before and after EVERYTHING.

What they're doing, will it work? I'm surprised that the Ayers accusation is able to sustain itself in the media cycle at all. It's transparently empty, and desperate, but it's their talking point.

Swift boating was successful, I think the general wisdom is, because Kerry's lack of forceful response. Obama labels Ayers a distraction, and changes the subject back to the economy, and that seems to negate the tactic.

They need to need look themselves in the mirror. And say, if the rule I've followed has got me here, of what use was the rule? Of course, a month is a long time and they may in a better place next week. I'm worried that voter turnout will decrease because everyone thinks Obama has it in the bag. That plus election irregularities and high profile last week dirt could be helpful to them.

1) Give McCain access to a time machine.
2) Anytime McCain isn't at a function, have Palin ask "Where's McCain?"
3) Screw Flanders.
4) Screw Flanders.
5) Screw Flanders.

There needs to be a dog with shifty eyes and ominous music (yes I just got Simpsons season 11 and the Mel Gibson episode is awesome)

Agree with your #1: fire your entire campaign staff.

#2: throw a Hail Mary by hiring a group of mavericky political flacks who are not lobbyists or otherwise tied to huge corporate interests, and military/world affairs types who aren't warhawky neocons, then suspend the campaign for real and sit down and spend a week hammering out sane, reality-based policies.

#3: Unveil your new policies with a series of positive, forward-looking ads, outlining these plans in detail. If these plans do not include endless hot and cold wars, increased deregulation, and massive giveaways to big business.

#4: Give a humble and serious speech unveiling your new reality-based policies, no more "maverick" and "my friend," and back up your "I know how to do this"s with actual solutions to back them up.

#5: Drop Palin and do what you were originally going to do: enlist Lieberman (though he's hateful) as VP. This may not gain you any friends in the "base," but the people who supported you back before this campaign, when you were still yourself, might come back.

These work for me.

Start drinking heavily.

Agree, agree, agree! The Republican machine excels at stealing elections. It's a dark art they have perfected over the years, with aiding and abetting by Congress with the Orwellian "Help America Vote" Act. While I'm praying that Obama wins, and intend to volunteer on election day if they want me, I'm nonetheless extremely worried that McCain will "win" like Bush did in 2000 and 2004.

For the third debate, he should wear a giant pair of fake novelty boobs in commemoration of breast cancer awareness month.

Bring back "McCain 2000" is the only positive option, but it may be too late. I understand why they had to hide McCain 2000 in the primaries, but they dropped the ball not bringing him back for the general. The Republican party hampered the chances of their own candidate with their own party stupidity.

Come up from behind and gently cup the breasts, while whispering "Maverick... outsider... you betcha" softly in her ear.

Cleavage. It may be their last weapon.

Palin should attack on issues, not accusations, as said above, but that's not Steve Schmidt's style. I think in the long term, even if she loses, she has become a national figure and a future senate or presidential candidate, shudder to think.

Call your fellow Americans: "My fellow prisoners"!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYFm5kK4f1k

A sex tape might be going too far, but topless photos from when she was younger would have the titillation factor with the benefit of being far enough in the past that it could be chalked up to youthful indiscretion.

Plus they'd be perkier.

It's the tragedy of the 2008 election, actually. Even though I would never vote for McCain, it actually is hard to watch him now and not feel sad for him.

If you've read the Rolling Stone piece about McCain, it's clear that like any other politician with this kind of longevity, he's got a lot of ugly skeletons in his closet. But because of some combination of a) his POW experience, b) his treatment at the hands of Bush in 2000; c) his cultivation of a strong relationship with the press; and d) his candid moments of actually speaking truth (like once saying that banning abortion will just bring back the bloody coathanger), his skeletons have stayed hidden.

What's tragic is that the legacy of 2000 McCain was secure, warts and all. He would be remembered as a hero when he went out. But by hiring the people he did to run his campaign, by recklessly choosing Palin at a time of severe crisis, by relentlessly pimping out his POW experience, by attacking the press, by drawing out the worst in Americans to serve his bald ambition and sense of entitlement to be President -- he has shredded that legacy.

By doing all of the above, he has exposed himself to the kind of intense scrutiny that has shone a light on every skeleton in his closet. He has invited Americans to watch him in the debate and see his flaws rather than looking at him as a hero. I was watching the debate last night with my kids, and this was going through my mind. It's tragic that he did that to himself.

Hence suspension of the Posse Comitatus act and a US Army Brigade being assigned to the "Homeland."

You're talking about her as a real person. The only Palin we've seen outside of Alaska is a fiction. You can't put a fiction on Leno and especially not Letterman. And I hope SNL doesn't put her on, after all the lynch mob talks she's been giving lately.

Alternately, had this campaign not happened as it has, we might still place some credence in the myth of the "straight talking" McCain. Maybe that legacy is better off shredded.

The media's fired up now. You won't be able to put Palin on Letterman and not have him go off on her. He's still running the McCain snub joke.

Move closer to the light.

True, but had he not run for president this time, he could have retired with his dignity intact. I'm just talking as a human, not as a fan of McCain's. I find the whole straight-talking maverick thing impossible to believe now, but we all lived with the myth for so long, he could easily have gone gently into that good night without so much ugliness and hatefulness oozing out of him as it has this year.

I know how evil this administration and its puppet masters have been behind closed doors...but
Do you really think that a stunt like suspension of the election due to economic disaster/terrorist attack/Israel NUCULAR site attack and bringing the tanks out on US streets is in the realm of the possible? It would mean the end of the republic, I dunno if even Cheney is that stupid. They would forever expose their ugly face to the world. I bet they are already planning for a Reagan like comeback in 2012, rather then openly risking everything.

Ugh! This non-partisan shit you're slinging is what's destroying our fucking country. My father and his father before him and my son after me didn't die so you could spout that open-minded trash! Why don't you take that unbyassed shit back to Switzerland you fuckin...fuckin...neutral! Moran!

!

As close as the race still remains it actually wouldn't be hard.

1. Yes, bring back McCain 2000. Miss no opportunity to bash Bush.

2. More importantly, start bashing the crap out of the Democrat-led Congress and tie Obama to them. After all, their approval rating is even lower than W's. "In these dangerous times do you really want liberal Democrats in charge of the House, Senate, AND White House?"

3. Have Palin step down due to family responsibilities and replace her with just about anyone. Anyone outside of the Far Right would be more comfortable with Captain Spaulding one heartbeat away.

blackface?

Tell us how to win the war and capture bin Laden and fix the economy. Quit your teasing!

"If you're good at something, never do it for free."

Abortions for some, little American Flags for all!

Make your health care plan sound like it's not set up to punish people for being sick. In other words, lie.

1. Borrow heavily and go into debt.
2. Secretly fund a far right nut job (Ron Paul?) and keep him off his meds so he can say everything that you want to say but would cost you the election.
3. Distance yourself from the nut job and the fray.
4. Secretly fund left wing nut jobs (Rev Wright) to get them in the live media as often as possible.
5. Secretly influence a minor dictator in a non-brown nation to make a major human rights stink.
6. Be the point man in calling for "taking him out" and be part of the Mission Complete announcement.

Just repeating what's in the Palpatine memoirs.

You joke, but (5) is plausible. Just look at what is happening in South America right now. If Venezuela and Colombia were on the brink of war at this point, it could have tourned out ugly if it became politicized in the US.

McCain dug his own grave 8 years ago when he hitched his wagon onto the Bush/Cheney Express. The John McCain of 2000 can't just pop out of a gopher hole in '08 and proclaim "maverick!" and win shit. The John McCain of 2008 needs to travel back in time 8 years and tell the John McCain of 2000 to run to the left. Hard.

A-la peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Sarah Palin Sex Tape UNCENSORED

(NSFW...Not explicit, but, ya know, everybody's so fuckin touchy these days)

"You like that, you dirty Alaskan whore?"
"You betcha!"

Too big -- has be someone they can smack down without too much time and expense, and regime change might be popular with the natives and a diaspora ... Cuba?

With regards to this "global warming" issue that these Democrats keep talking about, investigate dealing with it in a way that appeals more to your base - like looking into a military option.