Yeah well ya know what guys? As a fan of Howards original creation forgive me for not treating this intellectual property with the dismissive cynicism the studios, Ratner, and many in this thread seem to be.
I love the original Conan - the guys the sword and sorcery answer to James Bond (smart as whip, best of the best but living in a world where if he can't fuck it, he'll kill it) - and I refuse to feel bad about being somewhat frustrated that everything thats good about the character will get pissed away on screen - yet again.
...and Im sorry but the original Milius Conan is not that far fucking removed from The Scorpion King in quality - there I said it.
Ya know who I'd like to see tackle Conan to do him justice? Robert fucking Rodriguez and his ilk. I don't hate Ratner, I don't know the guy - but I know he's a wonderful symbol of everything wrong with modern Hollywood.
I look at him and I'm reminded of Albert Brooks tirade in Broadcast News (a tirade that becomes more and more relevant as I get older)...
What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing ... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance ... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.
...every time I see Ratner now - alnog with quite a few others in modern culture - I remember that epic immortal monologue that made such an impression on me when I was about 13.