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Things you wanted to submit to List of the Dumb but didnt have a camera

post #1 of 68
11/3/08 at 11:07am
Thread Starter 
Occasionally I'll see things and think damn I wish I had a camera just so Nick could add it to his list of the dumb.

This weekend, I almost cried. I swear to you, I got behind a big pickup truck that had the license plate DNKYPNCH.

Yes. either its DonkeyPunch or DinkyPinch. Either way I wish I had a camera phone.

anyone else have these moments where you wish you could have picture-proof?
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post #2 of 68
11/3/08 at 11:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by neaux View Post
anyone else have these moments where you wish you could have picture-proof?
Every time I have sex.

Wait...
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post #3 of 68
11/4/08 at 10:03am
There is this church near where I live that frequently has their little clever sayings on their marquee sign to entice/shame people into attending/joining their church. Well, for one of the messages, someone clearly did not have a full understanding of the vocabulary involved. It read like this:

"The Truth is not relevant, it's absolute."

Now, I'm about 99% sure they meant to say "relative" rather than "relevant" since that sort of negates anything they might want to sell you as far as God is concerned, but that shit stayed up on their sign for a MONTH. I kept meaning to get my camera and go take a picture, but never got around to it. Now it has changed.

There is a bush in my neighbor's yard that looks like it has a big, green puffy dick sticking out. I plan on taking a picture of that at some point and sending it to Nick.
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post #4 of 68
11/4/08 at 10:07am
At my local Cracker Barrel. Something called THANKSGIVING: The Board Game.
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post #5 of 68
11/4/08 at 12:50pm
I saw a license plate on a Mustang that read:

THOR-7
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post #6 of 68
11/4/08 at 1:35pm
A patriotic "THESE COLORS DON'T FADE" bumper sticker that was very, very faded.
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post #7 of 68
11/4/08 at 1:44pm
A minivan at my kid's pre-school covered in Ron Paul/conspiracy stickers. I had my iPhone, but felt creepy taking pictures of his classmates' cars. Also, Ron Paul supporter + photographing their shit without permission = danger.
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post #8 of 68
11/4/08 at 4:14pm
I saw a Prius with an Obama sticker and found it reduntantly funny. I would have submitted it if I could have gotten the picture.
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post #9 of 68
11/4/08 at 4:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sodium View Post
A patriotic "THESE COLORS DON'T FADE" bumper sticker that was very, very faded.
That's really good.
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post #10 of 68
11/4/08 at 5:35pm
A church sign that said, "Wal-mart isn't the only place you'll find savings."
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post #11 of 68
11/4/08 at 6:15pm
A poster advertising a Christian fair, complete with "Mime Ministry".
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post #12 of 68
11/21/08 at 4:29pm
I was at Best Buy picking up Ken Burn's Jazz box set and while browsing the CDs I saw one that came in a blue cardboard box. I looked it over and in the back, next to the tracklist, was a very long human hair trapped under the plastic. I checked and the plastic wasn't ripped anywhere, meaning the hair got stuck under the plastic while at the factory or whatever. I almost bought it just to show it off, but instead I hid it behind a bunch of discs so I could show it to friends whenever we visit the store again.
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post #13 of 68
11/21/08 at 4:35pm
I'm guessing Nick didn't find my picture of a store called "Try My Nuts" dumb enough.
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post #14 of 68
11/24/08 at 1:35am
There's a bowling alley here right outside of Branson, MO called "Hillbilly Bowl", and it looks just like it sounds.
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post #15 of 68
11/24/08 at 1:57am
An advertisement for Christian Clown College.
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post #16 of 68
11/28/08 at 7:16pm
There was this short, chubby, Fred Durst wanna be, at Hastings this morinig.

He had all the Twilight books stacked in his arms. Pearched on top of those? A used copy of The Happening DVD.

Sadly, no camera.
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post #17 of 68
11/28/08 at 7:19pm
The knuckle dragging, sister boinking redneck in front of me on the 3 Mile Bridge with his "10 out of 10 terrorists prefer Democrats!" bumper sticker.
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post #18 of 68
11/28/08 at 7:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
A church sign that said, "Wal-mart isn't the only place you'll find savings."
There's a church in my area with the same sign. Or course, there are packages you can buy where they send you the suggestions of signs to put up, and even send you pre-written sermons (including the jokes).

I wish I would have gotten a picture of a local church when their sign read, "Remember this Sunday is Double Tithe Sunday"
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post #19 of 68
11/28/08 at 8:04pm
A few years ago I saw a DAVE DAVIS FOR SENATE sign that made me chuckle.
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post #20 of 68
12/8/08 at 10:54pm
Drove behind an old van the other day. Had a bumper sticker on the back that read "I read my bible every day, just like Sarah Palin." with a headshot of Sarah Palin.

Laughed so hard I had to pull over for a minute to recoup before I continued driving.
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post #21 of 68
12/8/08 at 11:26pm
About a month ago, I was on the T heading to work, just staring out the window like a zombie. All of a sudden a flatbed truck pulls up next to the train with a forklift on the back made by a company called Manitou, printed in huge letters across the back of it. I had my phone on me, but I was so tired that I just stared at it in amazement until it drove away. At which point I weakly shouted "Fuck!", looked around to see if anyone heard me, and then started to doze off because shouting made me more tired. Missed my stop because of that forklift
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post #22 of 68
12/9/08 at 12:12am
I walked by an elevator a few weeks ago. The door was open, and the elevator contained no humans, but many, many bags of trash, piled all the way to one corner at the top.
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post #23 of 68
12/17/08 at 7:05pm
I was driving to work this morning and in front of me was a Lexus. On the bumper the Lexus name was replaced with "Lextacy", the emblem with a big "X"
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post #24 of 68
12/17/08 at 11:03pm
My lunch ladies like to do extra special stuff for us during the holiday season. They'll take a quarter off something on Monday, they'll give you a free something if you by a certain thing on Tuesday, etc. There was [might still be there] a sign posted at one of the counters letting us know what was happening on what day. I scrolled down the list and came across "Wednesday: FREE SMILES! !!"
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post #25 of 68
1/11/09 at 7:56am
There was this guy in Hastings Friday, his ringtone was the GENERAL LEE's Dixie horn.
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post #26 of 68
1/11/09 at 8:21am
I followed a car around with the license plate THANFUL for a few miles trying to get pix before he hustled away onto the highway.
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post #27 of 68
1/11/09 at 2:10pm
I saw a very round man with bleached blonde hair, wearing a yellow shirt, driving a yellow Corvette.
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post #28 of 68
1/11/09 at 3:06pm
I didn't know where else to post this, but I love the headline scrolling in the pic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Times_Square_Studios
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post #29 of 68
1/11/09 at 3:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anderson View Post
An advertisement for Christian Clown College.
http://www.crossthesky.com/clown_ministry.html
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post #30 of 68
2/1/09 at 7:56pm
Today at Hastings, a little boy about 5-years-old asked his mom if she thought Freddy Krueger was married.
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post #31 of 68
2/1/09 at 10:30pm
Not so much dumb, but someone slapped a Cthulul in '08 sticker on a light poll.
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post #32 of 68
2/1/09 at 10:51pm
This isn't humor, but in the poorest ghetto area of the city is a store I always pass on a bus route, its sign reading "We buy broken gold". How does such a thing as 'scrap' gold even exist? Is there a point at which the gold is slightly ruined? What.

Oh yeah, there was this giant banner in that same neighborhood reading "PUT PEOPLE BEFORE PROFIT! VOTE COMMUNIST!" on a house for years, but somebody tore it down. A luxury SUV was usually parked in the driveway.

The last piece of soviet-era propaganda on public display ever.
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post #33 of 68
2/1/09 at 10:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
That was the one.
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post #34 of 68
2/8/09 at 12:57pm
Saw a dude in a Carrie Underwood video with a camo fiddle.

All the deer in the timber will be pulling out their antlers trying to figure out where the hell that "Cotton-Eyed Joe" is coming from.
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post #35 of 68
2/10/09 at 4:49pm
A sign on the window of a pet supply store, evidently for a brand of some kind.
ADDICTION
It's the only choice.

Also, the marvelous discovery of a Sbarro Kids cup, featuring an adorable anthropomorphized meatball named Meatsy.
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post #36 of 68
2/28/09 at 5:40pm
Yesterday I saw a young gal, maybe 11 or 12, with huge tits wearing a Hooters t-shirt. She was with her parents. They let her wear this into a store.

I think I witnessed a future Jessica Simpson.
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post #37 of 68
2/28/09 at 8:24pm
At a local liquor store, the electronic marquee read "WEED Tasting Sat 1-4"

I'm not sure if that's a brand of alcohol or not or some kinda of acronym, but im sure they confused quite a few stoners.
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post #38 of 68
9/20/09 at 7:52pm
A 14 year old kid entered the videogame store i work at a few days ago; he chatted with his buddy about getting the new NFS game a bit, then he suddenly stopped dead on his track at our Wii demostration module, which was running the new Wii Sports game.
After a few seconds, he reached out and touched the monitor with his finger...once, twice then a third and final time.
He then stared at me and said "Its not working".
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post #39 of 68
9/21/09 at 7:09am
On the front of a TShirt I saw recently.

JESUS SAVES!

But the rest of you take double damage.

For some reason a Christian D&D Tshirt really made me smile.
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post #40 of 68
12/27/09 at 3:18am
I saw a The Who's Greatest Hits CD with a sticker that said:

Contains the song "Who are You" from the hit TV show CSI.

It's true I guess, but what a bizzare selling point.
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post #41 of 68
12/27/09 at 3:46am
A huge hairy (I mean Robin Williams hairy) italian guy with silver & gold chains, and a ponytail down to the small of his back, earing, sunglasses on his head, fannypack, sandals (but no socks, shockingly), jean shorts (that used to be just jeans), rings (plural), and a super-bright yellow tank top that had "like a BOSS" airbrushed on the front and back lke the kind you'd get at Great America or Six Flags - in line for a candy apple at a Knott's Berry Farm shop. He might have been in line for some fruit preserves, as well. i don't know...

He was a vision. Sadly I couldn't get a clear picture of him on my cellphone.
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post #42 of 68
12/27/09 at 4:16pm
Next door to the store where I used to work was a wig store. The sign advertised

"The Hair Store: Wigs and 100 percent human hair"
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post #43 of 68
12/28/09 at 12:35pm
A few years ago, I saw a car with a homemade "#1 Dame Judy Dench Fan" bumper sticker.
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post #44 of 68
12/28/09 at 12:48pm
I've seen a cream colored Mercedes driving around these parts (Newport Beach, CA) that has a "I <3 ZABKA" license plate. Note, the heart is an actual heart shape. Sadly... no photos.

EDIT: Not that there is anything "dumb" about loving Zabka...
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post #45 of 68
12/28/09 at 12:58pm
Oh, there was also some very large Polish dude at Home Depot a few years ago with a gold necklace on. Hanging from the necklace was Jesus... crucified on an anchor. WTF? Anyone know what the deal is with that?
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post #46 of 68
12/28/09 at 1:02pm
There's a clothing store down the street from work one day that had a sign in front offering "Children's Bottoms Half Off".
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post #47 of 68
12/28/09 at 5:43pm
I sent in a photo of this place a while a go. Not sure if Nick has used it.

For those who can't read french, it is a Thai Restaurant in Cannes called Le Chinks.
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post #48 of 68
12/28/09 at 5:52pm
I passed a "Dong Bang" Chinese restaurant in Marietta, Georgia yesterday.
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post #49 of 68
12/30/09 at 4:14pm
I've spotted a little white four-door with the following license plate a couple of times:

CNTYGRL

I've got a picture on my cellphone, but it's not good enough to submit.
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post #50 of 68
12/30/09 at 4:16pm
There's a sign in downtown Austin, hanging in the window of some bullshit trendy hair salon, that said "WOMEN IS THE NEW MEN." I still don't know what that means.
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