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Left 4 Dead - The CHUD edition! - Page 2

post #51 of 127
11/12/08 at 4:26pm
Darkmite, Iggy, and Alex. Between the four of us, we've probably seen enough zombie movies that we'd know how to get ourselves out of any life-threatening situation.
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post #52 of 127
11/12/08 at 4:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
Fuck all y'all.
Now wait a minute. You decided to go the Robert Neville route and left us behind - the last I saw you were waving a bat singing "Contagion is my middle name, got cancer of the everything"
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post #53 of 127
11/12/08 at 4:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Watch yourself you've got Ripoll in your area. The man's a loose cannon I tell ya!
Passive-aggressive faux openminded questioning is good against 2 zombies, 3 tops. He's useless against The Horde.

Sorry, Pat. If it was a vampire infestation, I might keep you around.
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post #54 of 127
11/12/08 at 4:45pm
Me, Patrick, Phil, and Disciple_72 could form... THE TEAM WITHOUT SIGS.
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post #55 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:32pm
YT, DaveB, and Zooey.

Once all of the shit cleared out we'd need smart people to re-establish a representative democracy. These three are our best chance.

Alternate three:

Cobretti: Military experience and brains, every band needs a defacto leader.

Joe LeFors: Chud's own survivalist could help us learn to love eating squirrels and shit.

Phil: Because when tempers flare within the group, somebody has to be there to calm everyone down and regain the team's focus.
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post #56 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
Fuck all y'all.
Nick you're our Fearless Leader. You're supposed to fly around in CHUD Force One while the lowly peons cleanse the Earth in preparation for your ascendancy.
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post #57 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:42pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
Me: "Matchstick, we're surrounded by the undead and need to pick two more chewers to help us survive."

Matchstick: "Did you hear about the undead guy that works at the skating rink? He drives the zomboni."

Me: "Hahahahahahahaha!"

Meanwhile, the zombies break in and devour us while we're laughing.
This is precisely why Matchstick would be the only Atlanta chewer I would choose. I love all the rest of you guys, but I can't have a team that can ALL run faster than me. Besides that, he's been working out and he's got something to live for, so he wouldn't be there solely for the (much needed) comic relief. I haven't yet decided who the two slow(ish) ones would be...
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post #58 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:44pm
I'd totally take Nunziata in my group.
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post #59 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
And see if we can fit Ted Levine into this.
I'm torn. On the one hand we'll need him to re-stabilize the government once we fight off the zombies and re-establish humanity (if). But on the other hand vending machines will not be zombie targets so he'll have plenty of competition.

Also, he goes down fairly early in the Heat shoot-out so if we run into a rival group of hostile humans that want to claim territory for themselves and dont' want us in it we might be fucked.

Plus if we're in isolation for too long he might revert to Buffalo Bill.

Levine's a liability. I propose we leave him behind.
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post #60 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Nick you're our Fearless Leader. You're supposed to fly around in CHUD Force One while the lowly peons cleanse the Earth in preparation for your ascendancy.
Plus, if we put you in the list after that post we'd look like brown-nosers.

So, yeah, Nick would totally be my first choice!
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post #61 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jakespeare View Post

Levine's a liability. I propose we leave him behind.
Now ya see if the vending machine did not have Fanta. I believe Levine could be an asset. However I would not have him on my team. Whether you want him or not. Is up to you.
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post #62 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:52pm
I think Devin would be a good asset. His mind is probably a Rolodex of tips on how to kill zombies, and he'll know where all the good bars to hide in are, as well.
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post #63 of 127
11/12/08 at 5:55pm
Nick can wait for us at Smoker´s Paradise now. Every team will need a final refuge for their endgame like in Shaun of the Dead.
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post #64 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:02pm
Ripoll fighting off a zombie invasion while creating his own music AND learning something mundane everyday would be a totally awesome sitcom.
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post #65 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Ripoll fighting off a zombie invasion while naked,creating his own music AND learning something mundane everyday would be a totally awesome sitcom.
More accurate.
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post #66 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:16pm
Thread Starter 
So let's reverse it. Which 3 people are the least qualified to survive?

My vote would be

Ripoll, he'd just not care.
CapAmerica. He would flip flop from one stance to the other on every single decision. Easy meat.
Nick, he'd be so fascinated by the fact that there are actual zombies that he'd try to get closer and hi five one. Bad idea.
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post #67 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:36pm
Ha, I just found this thread. I don't need any of you to keep me alive. My house is FORTIFIED, so I'm just playing favorites:

Jake - in case someone inside tries some shit;
Swice - sacrificial Symbol of Good or the group's conscience, however it plays out;
Jennifer - she's purty. And a vegetarian. She can help us figure out what's edible in this nightmarish new world to which we've awoken.

Jake gets the front porch and my dad's 9mm. Swice covers the back with molotov cocktails. I'm on the roof playing Charles Whitman. Jennifer, here's the DirecTV remote. The pay channels start at 501. God help us all.

Quote:
Which 3 people are the least qualified to survive?

CapAmerica.
Accidentally sets himself and others on fire throwing gasoline on an errant cricket in the house.
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post #68 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
I think Devin would be a good asset. His mind is probably a Rolodex of tips on how to kill zombies, and he'll know where all the good bars to hide in are, as well.
Devin's a big hairy misanthrope. We all know how well those people do in zombie movies.
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post #69 of 127
11/12/08 at 6:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Devin's a big hairy misanthrope. We all know how well those people do in zombie movies.
They direct them?
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post #70 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:09pm
Frankly, I don't want to have to rely on any of you Chewer assholes to make my zombie getaway.

I'm slow and I don't even know how to operate anything other than a revolver- I'll be among the lumbering dead in no time.
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post #71 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Devin's a big hairy misanthrope. We all know how well those people do in zombie movies.
Don't they end up surviving alone in a cabin in the woods until some punk kids come by and ruin it?
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post #72 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:11pm
Pfft, who needs a revolver give me a bit of wood with a nail through it and I'll be fine.
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post #73 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:17pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
Don't they end up surviving alone in a cabin in the woods until some punk kids come by and ruin it?
Sometimes, but usually they're inability to play nice with others leads to tragic consequences, and in any case they are messily devoured before the credits roll.
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post #74 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:21pm
I'd definitely team up with Phil, Werewolf Girl and Weedy from the Harold and Kumar movies. Our secret weapon will be potato chips.
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post #75 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
I'd definitely team up with Phil, Werewolf Girl and Weedy from the Harold and Kumar movies. Our secret weapon will be potato chips.
Well, at least while you are all being eaten alive, you probably won' give a shit.
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post #76 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:25pm
We'd have to find safe places to nap.
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post #77 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:27pm
The zombies will find a way to sneak up on you, they always do. But on the flip side you will be twice as paranoid, so that might help I guess.
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post #78 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
We'dhave to find safe places to nap.
One track mind.

I think weed would not be my friend in a zombie apocalypse. Meth, here I come.
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post #79 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:30pm
Devin - because a) he's the best proven wedding fighter out there and 2) he's the fucking Batman.

Diva - because she looks great in a cheerleader outfit

Moltisanti - if there's one I wanna have in my Strike Team, it's him.
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post #80 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:32pm
Yes, Moltisanti with his rich oil barren connections would surely be the place to start.
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post #81 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:34pm
Not only that. The way you'll look after using Meth. The zombies will think you're one of them.
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post #82 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:42pm
Is this a running zombie or classic zombie invasion?
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post #83 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:43pm
Not sure how I would do in a zombie invasion. I'd do pretty well if terrorists took over a high-rise. I'd be able to earn my keep if I had to locate a childhood friend who went on a crack-induced murder spree. I reckon I'd do just swell should the Yakuza decide to circulate highly-addictive drugs through their Los Angeles beer distributorship. But I don't know about a zombie invasion.
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post #84 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:48pm
If it's the slow moving zombie, I head right for the liquor store first and g owhere the wind takes me afterwards.

The fast kind, well I'd be fucked.
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post #85 of 127
11/12/08 at 7:52pm
Forget anybody else's business, if you're in the Midwest and need Zombie Proof Doors or would like to sign up for some zombie insurance, I'm your man.
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post #86 of 127
11/12/08 at 8:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Trejo : Skinny ass white dude, will be eaten soon. But he's the team's wise cracking bait. At least he'll make me laugh while he's around.
What? I'd be curbstomping zombies left and right, they wouldn't have any jaws left to bite us with! You'd run into a convenience store to stock up on Snickers bars and get bit by the clerk, or fall for some zombie piece of ass.

Anyone who didn't take Alex for their team is destined to fail.. but I'd have to take Nick just so he could point out what c-list actor each zombie looks like, and then make some awesome Hollowman jokes to cheer me up from the zombie holocaust.

I guess I'd need Tati for the last spot so he could lead the way to his tropical paradise though..
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post #87 of 127
11/12/08 at 8:51pm
Jake- As mentioned, he's good muscle
Justin Clark- Just seems bad-ass enough to have on my side
Copperlocke- Crazy or not, she's armed to the teeth
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post #88 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:07pm
Thread Starter 
Another one that wouldn't make it : Werewolfgirl

She'd start a Zombie preservation fund and get eaten ironically trying to feed a zombie.
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post #89 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:24pm
Oh... I see how it is. Should you happen to run past a certain convenience store while on the run from the undead, don't be surprised if nobody opens the door for thee!!!

I'll be snacking on chips and candy bars in the back.

EDIT: Nick can stop in for some treats though.
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post #90 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Another one that wouldn't make it : Werewolfgirl

She'd start a Zombie preservation fund and get eaten ironically trying to feed a zombie.
Has The Dead Next Door taught us nothing?
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post #91 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:29pm
Thread Starter 
You'd be fighting your own Hobos and Drunken customers to survive!

Edit: That was to Nooj
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post #92 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:31pm
That's it, I'll raise an army of drunken hobos fight the zombies. That's about as far as I got.
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post #93 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:31pm
Shit, folks, I've got a couple of malls and shopping centers to hide out in, gas stations out the wazoo, and enough Sporting Goods stores loaded with ammo to start a small war. All easily fortified and LOADED with supplies!

Plus an amusement park! And I live across the street from a church ("holy ground, Highlander!")

Come, come to Jackson, New Jersey! You're all welcome!
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post #94 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
You'd be fighting your own Hobos and Drunken customers to survive!

Edit: That was to Nooj
Drenched in Zombie Blood... "They were zombies?"
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post #95 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:44pm
I don't care if it was to Nooj, the prospect of zombies fighting hobos is just plain awesome.
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post #96 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BubWilliams View Post
That's it, I'll raise an army of drunken hobos fight the zombies. That's about as far as I got.
And what happens when you run out of booze for the hobos Bub? What will you do then?
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post #97 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:47pm
We'd gaze upon a battlefield of hobos vs. zombies and we'd have a Volcano Moment of Enlightenment as we say, "They all look the same!"

EDIT: Back off, Bub! The Hobo Army is mine!
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post #98 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
And what happens when you run out of booze for the hobos Bub? What will you do then?
Hobos, in a pinch, will drink Listerine for the alcohol content. Think of the upside.
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post #99 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:48pm
Or if they want to kill themselves. Rubbing Alcohol.
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post #100 of 127
11/12/08 at 9:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Or if they want to kill themselves. Rubbing Alcohol.
I'll dilute it a bit. I'll be the king of the hobos in this zombie wasteland. Ferdinand: King of the Boxcar Tramps has a good ring to it.
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