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Describe your career - Page 2

post #51 of 121
I work for a large testing company, investigating people who cheat on standardized tests. It is every bit as glamorous as it sounds, I assure you.
post #52 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
You'll have to talk to the people in Interlibrary Loan. I'm just the human encyclopedia.
damn them, its all dandy, i was able to finish it without the journal :-)
post #53 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rando View Post
I work for a large testing company, investigating people who cheat on standardized tests. It is every bit as glamorous as it sounds, I assure you.
do you get to show up at kids houses CIA style, and bust them for cheating?
post #54 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBaseNick View Post
do you get to show up at kids houses CIA style, and bust them for cheating?
If only. It's pretty vanilla actually - every thing is done through the mail "hey, we think you totally cheated" "no, I didn't" "yeah you did" etc. and so on.

It doesn't stop the parents from calling you and yelling at you about how their baby would never ever cheat etc.

From time to time we get to travel to investigate shit and interview people, but we don't have any hired goons. I wish we had hired goons.
post #55 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rando View Post
From time to time we get to travel to investigate shit and interview people, but we don't have any hired goons. I wish we had hired goons.
hey, i have free time.
post #56 of 121
:: raises hand :: Can I be a goon? I don't eat much, and I'll be really quiet.
post #57 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rando View Post
I wish we had hired goons.
Don't we all.
post #58 of 121
I don't really think that "quiet" is one of the qualities that one looks for in a goon.

edit - God, I would love some hired goons. Even just one would be great. Dirty old men and abusive patrons, meet Knuckles!
post #59 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
I don't really think that "quiet" is one of the qualities that one looks for in a goon.
Really? I would have thought that standing there, looking menacing and being quiet would intimidate people a lot more than being a batshit insane leaper-abouter.
post #60 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
:: raises hand :: Can I be a goon? I don't eat much, and I'll be really quiet.
and i can be trained!
Just give Lima and I some nice suits, an awesome black 2009 Chrysler 300 (fully loaded of course) and we are set. oh and some petty cash for food and ammo.
post #61 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
Really? I would have thought that standing there, looking menacing and being quiet would intimidate people a lot more than being a batshit insane leaper-abouter.
You have a point. I guess it all depends upon the situation. How do you look in a sport coat and a tight black t-shirt? Oh, and can you crack your knuckles?
post #62 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
being a batshit insane leaper-abouter.
that can be my job!
post #63 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
You have a point. I guess it all depends upon the situation. How do you look in a sport coat and a tight black t-shirt? Oh, and can you crack your knuckles?
I look ok in a sport coat, but I don't do the t-shirt thing. I have some DKNY shirts and some lovely neckties... mostly muted paisley. And not only can I pop my knuckles, but I can pop my shoulder, neck, left ankle, and right knee.

I can also make my right eyelid twitch uncontrollably...
post #64 of 121
Yeah, you're totally hired.
post #65 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
Yeah, you're totally hired.

It's the eyetwitch... always gets 'em.
post #66 of 121
I'm an investigator..........with child protective services. I get paid shit to work really long hours trying to find out if shitty parent #2540 is taking Xanax, Soma, Hydrocodone, and smoking weed for fun or because of the car wreck he had 17 years ago. It's an honorable job for sure but I'm seriously sick of dealing with lowlife's who can't take care of themselves and have no business having children, everyday.

On the positive side, I did get a "dad" charged with felony injury to a child last month for beating the shit out of his 8 year old for talking at school. Take that angry steroid using family abuser. I smile as I slip off to sleep knowing I probably saved that kid and his siblings from being Benoit'd at some later date. Now if they'd only pay me decent.
post #67 of 121
I'm an Art Director for a small business/consulting company in Pennsylvania that uses game boards in training. Occasionally, I get to work from home instead of driving 45 minutes across state lines.

Until recently, I had a steady freelance gig designing ads for a local "coupon clipper" magazine, which has since folded. I'm planning on updating my resume and sending samples to several other magazines for extra work.

Also, I'd dearly love to be a goon, as it's been a long-held dream of mine, ever since I was a kid. I'd watch the old "Batman" TV series from the '60s, and could totally rock a black bowler hat, and a shirt with GOON across it. However, if the goon positions are all filled, I'm also available as a flunky, henchman (especially if SPECTRE, SMERSH, QUANTUM, Dr. Doom, Hydra, AIM, or KAOS is hiring), sidekick, thug, ne'er-do-well, blackguard, scoundrel, rapscallion, hoodlum, or even a guy that stands off to the side and says "Hey, boss...". Oh, and my wife has our medical covered, so there's a savings for my future employer.
post #68 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
It's the eyetwitch... always gets 'em.
Who needs an eye twitch when you have a lead pipe.
post #69 of 121
MissZooey, I would be honored to be hired as a goon! I posted a goon-ish story on this board last night and JUST NOW had another incident where this dude tried to pull a "I can't pay for the beer I brought up, but I'll take the one in my pocket as I exit the store defeated" routine.

Nothing doing! So I went out and grabbed his bag and requested that he take off his coat and his bag. He struggled for a while and finally gave up the one in his coat pocket. But I still requested that he take the coat off. He came back a few minutes later to get back the fundless food stamp card he tried to pay for one can with.

This is my job. It sucks. And with the economy the way it is, people are gonna be even dumber about this.
post #70 of 121
I want to give a shout out to the three (I think) librarians that've posted here: You guys are generally the best people ever.

I just started my career as a high school teacher, and no one wants to help out the know-nothing rookie. That is, of course, except for the lovely, lovely librarians.
post #71 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by B_MetalSucks View Post
I'm an investigator..........with child protective services. I get paid shit to work really long hours trying to find out if shitty parent #2540 is taking Xanax, Soma, Hydrocodone, and smoking weed for fun or because of the car wreck he had 17 years ago. It's an honorable job for sure but I'm seriously sick of dealing with lowlife's who can't take care of themselves and have no business having children, everyday.

On the positive side, I did get a "dad" charged with felony injury to a child last month for beating the shit out of his 8 year old for talking at school. Take that angry steroid using family abuser. I smile as I slip off to sleep knowing I probably saved that kid and his siblings from being Benoit'd at some later date. Now if they'd only pay me decent.
I am raising a glass to you now. You rock!
post #72 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
InTheShadows, on the other hand, will teach them how to post 900 times a month on a message board without ever attaining pertinence.
1) Know a little bit about everything, but not enough about anything.

2) Get stuck in a house with your dying Grandmother.

Edit: 3) Make a lot of genital mutilation and rape jokes to piss the 'People of Good Taste' committee off.
post #73 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
I am raising a glass to you now. You rock!
And I'll raise one in return. Don't get me wrong, I realize I'm doing good work but two kids and a wife kind of means getting good pay as well. I'm testing for a job as an operator at a chem plant next Thursday for significantly more pay but I'm glad I got to do this job at this point in my life.
post #74 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissZooey View Post
You have a point. I guess it all depends upon the situation. How do you look in a sport coat and a tight black t-shirt? Oh, and can you crack your knuckles?
A good neck crack will also work. Also how do you feel about wearing track suits and a lot of gold chains?

As for my new job. I do accounts payable (Paying bills to pay my bills) at a property management company in which I oversee a group of properties in Texas and Ohio. In which I handle packages sent in by the properties to pay along with keeping tabs on critical bills (Utilities and the like). Please note if you have ATMOS Energy as your gas provider. Those guys are dumbasses and don't know how to apply check even if you gave them a year long course on how to do it.

I work on the westside which means a bitch of a commute. I'm thinking about moving but haven't done much with it at the moment.
post #75 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
I do accounts payable (Paying bills to pay my bills) at a property management company in which I oversee a group of properties in Texas and Ohio. In which I handle packages sent in by the properties to pay along with keeping tabs on critical bills (Utilities and the like).
Yikes! I did that in the summer between high school and university -- I can't even look at a "Received" stamp in the face anymore! I won't even use computer cheques after being scarred from so many botched runs ...
post #76 of 121
A couple of years back, following a short sojourn in wedding and corporate video hell, I opened a production company with two friends. We thrived quite nicely doing high-end commercials and have recently started a joint venture with the most successful production company in the country - they rep some great commercials directors, including some of the biggies from overseas. As for my occupation within the company, my background is in directing so I started off doing that but it only took a year for me to realize that directing commercials, with all the agency and client politics, just wasn't for me. So now I edit the commercials and stick to directing personal projects.

We do have quiet time between jobs but we've recently expanded to include another young (and very talented) director, so that'll hopefully change pretty soon.
post #77 of 121
I've just finished a diploma course in digital film and TV production, I'm going back next year to study for an associate degree. I'm not currently working, although a friend of mine has offered me work directing promos for a website he's set up, I just have to get off my ass and start cold calling, which I hate but it's a good way to start.

I've had so many jobs over the years it's not funny, from my first job as a door to door salesman to working in call centres to the last job I had which had me going through contracts for businesses who want to put an ad in the yellowpages. At least I know I'm exactly where I need to be.
post #78 of 121
Someone used to tell me that when they'd see homeless people with signs to get change and money, they'd stop and offer them a job instead. No one ever accepted.

Man, I wish that could happen to me. Some guy, or friend, offering me a job would be great, especially in the shit economy. It sucks when you fill out 20 applications and the only call back you get is pizza delivery driver. Not a good thing if your car is shitty.
post #79 of 121
By day, a truck driver filling vending machines. By night, a stock man at a grocery store.



I see the jealous and envy in your face.
post #80 of 121
I have no job, as it's Christmas break. Horrible, awful, Christmas break...
post #81 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by B_MetalSucks View Post
I'm an investigator..........with child protective services. I get paid shit to work really long hours trying to find out if shitty parent #2540 is taking Xanax, Soma, Hydrocodone, and smoking weed for fun or because of the car wreck he had 17 years ago. It's an honorable job for sure but I'm seriously sick of dealing with lowlife's who can't take care of themselves and have no business having children, everyday.

On the positive side, I did get a "dad" charged with felony injury to a child last month for beating the shit out of his 8 year old for talking at school. Take that angry steroid using family abuser. I smile as I slip off to sleep knowing I probably saved that kid and his siblings from being Benoit'd at some later date. Now if they'd only pay me decent.
A tip of the hat to you, sir.

For what it's worth, my wife is a social worker with a HUGE caseload, mainly dealing with chemical abuse and dementia cases. She can't discuss specific stuff with me, but some of her general comments lead me to believe that she's destined for Mother Theresa-levels of sainthood.
post #82 of 121
Wait a second, dying grandmother, dropped out of school. Shadows is actually Victor Mancini.
post #83 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Wait a second, dying grandmother, dropped out of school. Shadows is actually Victor Mancini.
LOL. I need to see the film, but I've read the book.

Is it dropped out if I'm going back in January? Ahh, well. I won't be around to harass you guys in a couple months, I'll be hitting the books and having sex again. The anti-CHUD.

*And at that, McCartney and Gruber rejoiced, and in their rejoicing 'accidentally' touched each other, then quickly backed away from one another before they had to face the fact that they, too, were gay*
post #84 of 121
Are you in trapped in your grandmother's house 24/7?
post #85 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbott & Prospero View Post
Are you in trapped in your grandmother's house 24/7?
Yea, pretty much. I get out for most of the day on Sunday, when my Mom watches her for the day, hit the bar, watch the games. But most of the time it's 24/7.

The thing is, this woman has 5 sons/daughters. And NONE of them can deal with her. She drove them all away while she was still somewhat functional/competent and now no one wants to deal with her, so they thought of a quick solution and that solution was me. With my family being the only ones still stuck in Jersey, it was the obvious choice.

I accepted this one semester deal from hell because I am getting paid by the other siblings and I need the money to finish school. It's decent dough, but I'm beginning to think it wasn't worth it. If it wasn't for Facebookl, keeping me in touch with my real life friends, and alcohol, I would have gone insane circa mid-October.
post #86 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbott & Prospero View Post
Are you in trapped in your grandmother's house 24/7?
The grandmother doesn't exist, he's just some middle aged guy desperately trying to justify his sad and lonely existence by being all passive aggressive on a message board.*


*and with that Spike has a moment of zen like self realisation
post #87 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
The grandmother doesn't exist, he's just some middle aged guy desperately trying to justify his sad and lonely existence by being all passive aggressive on a message board.*


*and with that Spike has a moment of zen like self realisation
Want a picture? I'll get one. Seriously, let me know, since I know how much you love those old ladies.

Or you could just fuck off to your Final Fantasy forum, where you can talk about taking cigarette breaks at clubs and how they help you get laid.

Here's my facebook, you fuck. Not quite as lonely an existence as your sad, autistic brain experiences. WTF do you think I was doing before I joined this place in August?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pr...20805&ref=name
post #88 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Want a picture? I'll get one. Seriously, let me know, since I know how much you love those old ladies.

Here's my facebook, you fuck. Not quite as lonely an existence as your sad, autistic brain experiences. WTF do you think I was doing before I joined this place in August?

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/pr...20805&ref=name

Is your grandmother on there? I don't see her.
post #89 of 121
Whoa a facebook! Revolutionary!
post #90 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Abbott & Prospero View Post
Is your grandmother on there? I don't see her.
Pssh, I don't need to be reminded of that bitch when I'm on my facebook. She's already the bane of my existence at this point.

You guys want a picture, don't you? Be careful what you ask for.

Yes, a Facebook. Friend me if you want, that is, if you have a Facebook. I'd be interested in seeing who your friends are, and if there are any women, outside of the Porn stars, of course.
post #91 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Want a picture? I'll get one. Seriously, let me know, since I know how much you love those old ladies.

Or you could just fuck off to your Final Fantasy forum, where you can talk about taking cigarette breaks at clubs and how they help you get laid.
Argh, my secret shame.

But don't you be besmirching the cigarette technique, being outside a club is way fucking preferential when trying to talk to chicks.
post #92 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Argh, my secret shame.

But don't you be besmirching the cigarette technique, being outside a club is way fucking preferential when trying to talk to chicks.
I dunno, guess it could work either way. I certainly met plenty of women at the smoking section at School and outside various bars/clubs. But it also probably repulsed just as many.
post #93 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheShadows View Post
Pssh, I don't need to be reminded of that bitch when I'm on my facebook. She's already the bane of my existence at this point.

You guys want a picture, don't you? Be careful what you ask for.

Yes, a Facebook. Friend me if you want, that is, if you have a Facebook. I'd be interested in seeing who your friends are, and if there are any women, outside of the Porn stars, of course.
Because we all know that Facebook is an accurate representation of your actual friends.

I'm kind of concerned that you both googled me and then searched through a Final Fantasy forum to find a post I made.
post #94 of 121
You guys should hook up and get rid of all that sexual tension. Plus you could argue about grandma's and pick up techniques without shitting all over this thread.
post #95 of 121
Actually, I searched for you ON Facebook, and that came up.

If you're a member, you should be able to see that all my friends are from Hightstown or New Brunswick, where I grew up and went to College. That's why there's only 56 of them, anyway, I only friend people I know and like. Friend whores have hundreds of thousands of friends.

B_Metal, this thread would not have gone this way if Spike didn't start the shit again. Seriously, I hope you guys (Spike, Hans, Paul) wind up having to do something that you really don't want to do, and it winds up putting your life on hold for six months. Then I can make fun of you when you're going through that shit. And Spike, I'm a little disturbed that you feel the need to follow me around the forum and bash me in threads I post in. Even the BSG one. Seriously, you don't have a Grandmother to take care of, what's your deal? Lonely?
post #96 of 121
Meltdown thread?
post #97 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Miller View Post
Meltdown thread?
Future looks promising.
post #98 of 121
Jesus, just chill the fuck out. It's an internet forum, you have absolutely nothing to prove. Everything that happens here is fucking inconsequential.
post #99 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Jesus, just chill the fuck out. It's an internet forum, you have absolutely nothing to prove. Everything that happens here is fucking inconsequential.
Then why the fuck do you feel the need to come in here and start a fight every time I post?

Did my Star Trek anger really piss you off that much? Why don't you go harass Devin then?
post #100 of 121
It's a fucking joke, and then you react and I just can't help myself.

To move this thread vaguely back on-topic.

One of my favourite expressions at the moment is 'Wanking for Pennies' which essentially refers to people doing mundane jobs they absolutely loathe just to try and keep their heads above water.
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