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Your ideal sex partner - Page 3

post #101 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renn Brown View Post
C/O Conan O'Brian...

You motherfucker. . . .! I want to bleach my eyeballs. . .again! Make it stop, please!
post #102 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feral Akodon View Post
Mad Man Mundt

red rep for you sir,among all the lame jokes you picked the worst.
Oooh. Guy I don't even know who the hell he is gives me imaginary red rep. (single tear). So I like bruises. Sue me.
post #103 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carpet View Post
Hahahahahha.

Doesn't anyone else think it's weird that sex toys for aimed towards women always have little bunnies or kitties on them? I mean, I love me some fluffy little animals, just not really in my cooch.
Yep, it's weird. Doesn't stop me from being curious about the rabbit, though. I haven't had the funds to buy one to try out. *tear* Think I could write it off as a medical expense? For, you know, treating stress?
post #104 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Oh man, I haven't tried one but by the looks of it those rabbit vibrators could make your whole gender obsolete.

I'm gonna have to start me a colony of women with fierce rabbit vibrators and a plentiful supply of AA batteries.
Where do I submit my application?

haha ETA:
That sounds way more gay than I meant for it to. Let's try it again...

Where do I submit my application, just in case this latest thing I'm working on doesn't work out?
post #105 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
Think I could write it off as a medical expense? For, you know, treating stress?
Say you have a chronic case of Sinecuniculus. (please bear with the fact that I don't actually have any grasp of Latin)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
I'm gonna have to start me a colony of women with fierce rabbit vibrators and a plentiful supply of AA batteries.
Ahaaaa, but who will install the batteries for you?
post #106 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
Yep, it's weird. Doesn't stop me from being curious about the rabbit, though.
My wife's sister has one, which she HEARTILY recommended to my wife, who then made me go buy her one, because she was too embarrassed to go into the shop herself. My wife wasn't nearly as impressed as her sister was, but I hear tell she recommended it to friends who have been very - er - satisfied with that purchase. Overall, more good buzz (sorry) than bad on this bunny.
post #107 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic Boom View Post
Present-day Kathleen Turner. I can't resist that husk.


..or the sound of 'ripping-Velcro' as she 'spreads'...
post #108 of 130
I'd love to get to know this chick better!



Apparently she was in "Stargate"?
post #109 of 130
-Do you travel downtown?
-Will you wash up before sex?
-Are you willing to trim the pubes? If you want me to head down there, don't make me bust out a weed-whacker to hit the target.
-Do you have the balls to state exactly what you what, how you want it, and for how long?
-Will you not be intimidated if I do the same?
-Are you willing to indulge my fantasies via roleplay?
-Will you keep your cool if I bust out some handcuffs?

If you meet these requirements, then congrats! Let's fuck!
post #110 of 130
-Do you travel downtown?

Never past about ten. It's dangerous in Vancover these days

-Will you wash up before sex?

Listerine on the dick? Sure.

-Are you willing to trim the pubes? If you want me to head down there, don't make me bust out a weed-whacker to hit the target.

If you want to blow me, I'll take a weed-whacker down there myself.

-Do you have the balls to state exactly what you what, how you want it, and for how long?

As long as you tell me what it is I want, how I want it, and for how long.

-Will you not be intimidated if I do the same?

I'm not afraid of you. Vagina haver.

-Are you willing to indulge my fantasies via roleplay?

This is where I say yes blindly, only to realize this involves a strap on...

-Will you keep your cool if I bust out some handcuffs?

Only if your intention is to fuck me to death, and not steal my wallet and leave... Cause I'm not putting up with that a third time!
post #111 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
-Do you travel downtown?
-Will you wash up before sex?
-Are you willing to trim the pubes? If you want me to head down there, don't make me bust out a weed-whacker to hit the target.
-Do you have the balls to state exactly what you what, how you want it, and for how long?
-Will you not be intimidated if I do the same?
-Are you willing to indulge my fantasies via roleplay?
-Will you keep your cool if I bust out some handcuffs?

If you meet these requirements, then congrats! Let's fuck!
Did you copy that or not? Either way, expect a lot of messages, etc.
post #112 of 130
It's really not complicated. Just fuck, and fuck well.
post #113 of 130
If it's not complicated why all the questions?

Women today, mixed signals...
post #114 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by IggytheBorg View Post
My wife's sister has one, which she HEARTILY recommended to my wife, who then made me go buy her one, because she was too embarrassed to go into the shop herself. My wife wasn't nearly as impressed as her sister was, but I hear tell she recommended it to friends who have been very - er - satisfied with that purchase. Overall, more good buzz (sorry) than bad on this bunny.
I've tried it. I's okay. The bunny ears are supposed to stimulate the clit, but it didn't provide enough pressure for me. But any gadget designed to help women orgasm is a good thing, so I can't complain.
post #115 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
It's really not complicated. Just fuck, and fuck well.
This. Right. Here.
post #116 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
It's really not complicated. Just fuck, and fuck well.
If there was one thing I could say about my uncle it's this.
post #117 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by HarleyQuinn22 View Post
-Are you bad?
-Are you bold?
- Are you wiser?
- Are you hard?
- Are you tough?
- Are you stronger?
- Are you cool?
-Are you calm?
- Can you stay together?

If you meet these requirements, then congrats! Let's fuck!
Will 5 of 9 get me a handjob?
post #118 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
If it's not complicated why all the questions?

Women today, mixed signals...
All you have to do is state your terms. If your partner meets the terms, cool. If not, work with them or move on. There really is nothing too complicated about that.
post #119 of 130
My ex and I had agreeable terms... I went down on her for an hour, gave her a bag full of orgasms, and then we had a quick fuck and went to bed.
post #120 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
My ex and I had agreeable terms... I went down on her for an hour, gave her a bag full of orgasms, and then we had a quick fuck and went to bed.
an hour? did you two keep time? haha geez..no cuddle?
post #121 of 130
I did an hour because A) I love doing it, and B) I wanted her TKO'd. I HATE to cuddle when I'm spent and I want to go to bed. The only cuddle I'll do is put my arm around her and sleep.
post #122 of 130
hey, its all good. i enjoy doing it as well, just if i stayed an hour the girl would be passed out..and thats TMI!
post #123 of 130
I hate getting too excited when you notice she's enjoying it and on her way, and then your tongue goes into overdrive and your face starts to lock up. Horrible feeling.
post #124 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBaseNick View Post
hey, its all good. i enjoy doing it as well, just if i stayed an hour the girl would be passed out..and thats TMJ!
Fixed.
post #125 of 130
It's all so clear now. My ideal partner is Phil.
post #126 of 130
Yummy.

post #127 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
I HATE to cuddle when I'm spent and I want to go to bed. The only cuddle I'll do is put my arm around her and sleep.
Terrible!
post #128 of 130
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
It's all so clear now. My ideal partner is Phil.
The avatar sells it.
post #129 of 130
All I need is a woman who'll pay my mortgage.
post #130 of 130
I saw Frank's name in the thread summary and had to take a gander. I wasn't disappointed.

Frank, Mom. Mom, Frank.

Now can I fly the plane?
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