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The "Song that Killed Music" Thread

post #1 of 159
11/30/08 at 4:49am
Thread Starter 
It's a cliché to say that music gets worse with every generation, from people whining about Elvis and the Beatles in their time to rap today. I'm pretty sure at some point an old African shaman or whatever thought to himself "boy, these young guys are killing percussion".

So, in a way, every time there's a new thing, I guess a reasonably intelligent person could assume that maybe it's not as bad as it seems and it's not as that different from whatever that person liked when he was young(er) and stupid(er). That being said, there has to be a point in which music truly becomes irredeemable and one can reasonably assume such an opinion is actually objective.

Case in point. What the fucking cocksucking motherfucking shit is this?
Have I finally found the objectively-speaking worst song ever made? Or, do you all know of a song that's worse than this? To be honest, I find it fascinating in a trainwreck atop Treblinka kind of way.

The only redeeming thing is the chick's expression at 2:09, thoroughly pissed off and possibly repeating in her mind "at least I'm not doing porn".
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post #2 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:04am
I hate them for existing, I hate the industry that supports them existing, and now I hate you for bringing my attention to the fact that they exist.

Good god, was that even REAL, or did I HALLUCINATE it?
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post #3 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:09am
Fantastic, I can't wait for the upcoming EP.
Or like babygirlkay8494 so fittingly says in the comments;
Quote:
yo i fkin love this video OMFGGGGG
they are so hot
well some of the girls were not hot but whatever i love brokencyde
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post #4 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:13am
I'm a bit shocked they're not hugely successful. They've got all the elements of total musical trash; they should be rolling in dough.
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post #5 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:20am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
I got these bitches all tipsy trying to sex me.
I know they want it, alcoholics are some sex freaks.
This ex and chronic gots me wanting to get messy.
So let's get messy girls, come on let's go get messy girls.
Come on bitch, you know you want this.
That hardcore shit will make you feel the toxic.
Versace, Rolex watches.
Bently coups with the 20's droppin.
Convertible top, and the wheels spin.
I can taste that ice when my grill is in.
If you want me baby feel me in.
'cause I don't waste my time with lesbians.
I mean, like, that's one threat of violence away from being Chris Rock's "smackherwithadick" bit.
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post #6 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:43am
Damn you for bringing this to my attention - I need a brain wipe
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post #7 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:48am
After reading those lyrics I was expecting some hardcore gangsta rappers doing a clubbing song. What the shit?
There's a funny moment(:56 in) where the pink-shirted fellow is lip-syncing his almighty "RAHHHHHH!" and looks like he threw up in his mouth a smidgen. Then he attempts to play it off by fiddling with his mop.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlmightyShmun View Post
I'm a bit shocked they're not hugely successful. They've got all the elements of total musical trash; they should be rolling in dough.
I agree. Give them time.

They're bound for obscurity or HUGE success... flip a coin.
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post #8 of 159
11/30/08 at 6:43am
Thread Starter 
I'd say in 2 years, either them or another band of the same "genre"* will be rather succesful.

*The fact that, despite evidence, I'm sure this either is or will be a "genre" makes me want to club seals, or Seal, or something.
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post #9 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:07am
Post-music. This is brilliant.

Oh, and this.
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post #10 of 159
11/30/08 at 8:09am
Holy shit I need one of the Men In Black mind eraser things.
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post #11 of 159
11/30/08 at 10:22am
It reminds me of one of those unfunny Andy Sanberg SNL Digital Shorts.

They should die.
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post #12 of 159
11/30/08 at 11:11am
Oh god, I looked at their MySpace page. They're from "Albucrazy, New Mexico".
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post #13 of 159
11/30/08 at 11:25am
I raise you.

YES, he is fucking serious. YES, there are people taking it seriously.
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post #14 of 159
11/30/08 at 11:58am
I officially want to fight this thread.
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post #15 of 159
11/30/08 at 12:39pm
And you guys were bitching about Van Halen?????

Time for some 'cock rock' antidote.
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post #16 of 159
11/30/08 at 12:50pm
When I first started reading this thread, before I had clicked on the link, I though to myself "Whatever is posted couldn't be worse than Brokencyde."
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post #17 of 159
11/30/08 at 12:53pm
The asshole in the pink shirt...is that ALL that he does? (beat, beat, beat...'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH'...beat, beat, beat...'RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH'...repeat ad nauseum)

How can that much talent exist within one band? It's amazing.
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post #18 of 159
11/30/08 at 12:57pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF6HgpdaaCU


Not quite as shitty, but still remarkably awful.
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post #19 of 159
11/30/08 at 1:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanzo Steel View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF6HgpdaaCU


Not quite as shitty, but still remarkably awful.
That is fucking hilarious.

Rhyming "Saget" with "faggot" was particularly inspired.
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post #20 of 159
11/30/08 at 2:37pm
"I drink so much they call me Charlie 40-hand"

Awesomeness.

Ya know what, it's utter crap. But the comic value is high. Many sitcoms aren't even unintentionally funny.
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post #21 of 159
11/30/08 at 3:11pm
The joke is on us. These musicians are gaining hits and giving themselves hi-fives. You can only watch something ironically if you've stolen it. Otherwise, you are approaching hipster-level retardation.
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post #22 of 159
11/30/08 at 3:45pm
A common thread linking all this wack shit together: Autotune. If these are the songs that are killing music, Autotune is the razor-sharp blade of the knife being dragged across music's jugular vein.
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post #23 of 159
11/30/08 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreary louse View Post
The joke is on us. These musicians are gaining hits and giving themselves hi-fives. You can only watch something ironically if you've stolen it. Otherwise, you are approaching hipster-level retardation.
I find it hard to believe THESE musicians would get hits.

Okay, maybe not so hard to believe.
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post #24 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hanzo Steel View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF6HgpdaaCU


Not quite as shitty, but still remarkably awful.
These peckerheads are trying to look unhinged like slipknot, but then belt out with the lightweight crap. They should at least have like six people jumping and banging on various drums.
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post #25 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I raise you.

YES, he is fucking serious. YES, there are people taking it seriously.
That video is 20 times funnier than anything in Pootie Tang.
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post #26 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreary louse View Post
The joke is on us. These musicians are gaining hits and giving themselves hi-fives. You can only watch something ironically if you've stolen it. Otherwise, you are approaching hipster-level retardation.
Yeah, those youtube fees are really standing in the way of my ironic appreciation. Fuck, I can't believe I've been had again. Damn you, brokeNCYDE!!!!
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post #27 of 159
11/30/08 at 5:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I raise you.

YES, he is fucking serious. YES, there are people taking it seriously.
Eh. They at least understand rhythm and melody. The guy's voice isn't that bad, it's just those lyrics.

Man.....those lyrics.
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post #28 of 159
11/30/08 at 6:25pm
Is it Broken Side or Broke Inside?
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post #29 of 159
11/30/08 at 6:35pm
Does it matter, really?
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post #30 of 159
11/30/08 at 6:40pm
Not at all.

I bet there is no answer, anyway.
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post #31 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:23pm
Maybe it's both.
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post #32 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:32pm
This is the song that SAVED music!
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post #33 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:36pm
Time to beat the fuck out of Gaybe.
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post #34 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:45pm
People. The holidays are a time when individuals prone to depression* tend to feel even more bummed than usual. There are certain places where those individuals go to feel safe, and, however momentarily, leave the holiday woes behind. CHUD is one of those places for me.

Now, because of this place, I am aware of the existence of goddamned Brokencyde and will be humming "let's get freaky now, let's get fucking freaky now" to myself for weeks.

I hate you, thread.

*For example, bald guys who hang out on messageboards and are named "Will."
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post #35 of 159
11/30/08 at 7:46pm
That was awesome.
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post #36 of 159
11/30/08 at 8:00pm
Let Justin and his pal Megaman help you.
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post #37 of 159
11/30/08 at 8:36pm
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to shatter your childhood with THIS
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post #38 of 159
11/30/08 at 8:52pm
I fear to touch any link in this thread
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post #39 of 159
11/30/08 at 9:37pm
Did anyone notice that one of the members of brokeNCYDE calls himself "se7en"? That is awesome. It shows how hardcore he is to be using that movie title for a stage name. Although I think "Willow" or "Rudy" would have been just as badass.
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post #40 of 159
11/30/08 at 10:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to shatter your childhood with THIS
I call and raise you this
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post #41 of 159
11/30/08 at 11:46pm
Jake, can you please hurry and beat this thread up, it's frightening the children.
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post #42 of 159
11/30/08 at 11:47pm
Jake: The official hired goon of CHUD
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post #43 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:22am
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
I call and raise you this
fine, I call and raise you THIS: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3_5IJRXoKQE

Go to 2:20 and listen from that point on.
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post #44 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
fine, I call and raise you THIS: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3_5IJRXoKQE

Go to 2:20 and listen from that point on.
Needs more Uhhhhhnnnnn.

And I'd like to thank our German associate and attorney at Law Jan for shipping this over to me after my constant Tokio Hotel related harassment
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post #45 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:37am
This is moving away from "songs that killed music" into mere "inspired lunacy". Which is fine.

The drum & bass Inspector Gadget is part of a proud tradition.
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post #46 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:41am
I can dig it!
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post #47 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:43am
Fuck you guys for making me pull this out of cryogenic stasis.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE
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post #48 of 159
12/1/08 at 12:55am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post
Fuck you guys for making me pull this out of cryogenic stasis.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=FCARADb9asE
Because it was Star Trek. I brought the ultimate Shatner moment!
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post #49 of 159
12/1/08 at 1:13am
Thread Starter 
If we are going full blown wtf in this thread, there's always this masterpiece and if anyone understands spanish, there's this.

edit: Actually, now that I've already posted a song in spanish here, I might as well turn you all into bigots.
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post #50 of 159
12/1/08 at 1:20am
Samwell's got something to say about this lovely thread.
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