CHUD.com Community › Forums › SPECIFIC FILMS › Films in Release or On Video › The Langoliers (1995)
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

The Langoliers (1995)

post #1 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:36pm
Thread Starter 
After my friend described the plot to me this sounded so hilariously bad I had to see it for myself. Turns out, just hearing the plot is much better, so here it is.

Time is actually a series of parallel dimensions that we travel through. Each moment has it's own dimension. Once a moment is passed through, it's no longer needed, and is literally gobbled up by little fanged monsters called Langoliers. These Langoliers are made of Reboot.

Passengers on a plane to Boston find this out the hard way when travelling through an Aurora Borealis sends them 15 minutes back in time, to a past world no longer inhabited by people. So all the food tastes bad. Except they took their own time with them in the plane. So food tastes good in the plane.

Meanwhile, Bronson Pinchot is a scenery-chewing asshole who is scared of Langoliers because his daddy was mean to him. So he stabs a blind girl. This blind girl is magic and can see the future and do an untold number of other, magic-psychic things which later includes leading a badly injured Pinchot to a pretend board meeting, which distracts the Langoliers temporarily into gobbling up Pinchot. She peacefully fades away and dies after that, knowing that revenge is indeed a dish best served cold.

So they go back to the Aurora Borealis and fall asleep so they won't disappear when they travel back through time. They actually end up not in the present, but 15 minutes in the future, and food tastes incredible.

Then they skip and hop down the corridors, until the film ends on a freeze-frame of them laughing and cheering, having learned their lesson about time travel and blind girls.

Then you regret having spent 2 and a half hours of your life watching this.
Reply
post #2 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:40pm
I watched this once. I immediately regretted my decision.
Reply
post #3 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:42pm
And yet you'll remember it for decades. Something about The Langoliers sticks in our minds, and I'm always surprised when people bring it up in a conversation and everybody knows exactly what they're talking about.
Reply
post #4 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:44pm
Thread Starter 
Maybe because it's a compelling tale of the preciousness of time.

Or maybe because it's the low point of David Morse's career.
Reply
post #5 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:45pm
This is the flick where Bronson rips paper the whole time right?
Reply
post #6 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:47pm
Thread Starter 
Oh God, I forgot about the paper ripping. His eyes all bloodshot, like some kind of paper-ripping junkie.
Reply
post #7 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:49pm
How could you forget about that? That is the only thing I remember about this flick. Your synopsis doesn't ring anybells, but Balki ripping paper totally does.
Reply
post #8 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:50pm
Oh, the flying CGI meatball monsters movie. It made Tommyknockers look good. Quite a feat, actually.
Reply
post #9 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:51pm
Miniseries based on Stephen King books or short stories are always terrible. Always. In fact, only one* of them didn't suck, and it sure as hell wasn't The Langoliers.



*That would be Storm of the Century, and even then, I could be wrong, because it's been a long time since I watched it.
Reply
post #10 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:51pm
I still want a real IT and Tommyknockers movie. I always dug Tommyknockers (the book) as a kid.
Reply
post #11 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:55pm
This can't have been any worse than the miniseries version of 'The Shining' from a few years ago.
Reply
post #12 of 48
12/2/08 at 3:58pm
It made me hate Stephen King forever.

After seeing it I now refuse to see or read anything he's done.

Do you think anyone enjoyed it, anywhere?
Reply
post #13 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:00pm
I remember liking it when I saw it, but I was 8 or 9 years old.
Reply
post #14 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:03pm
Don't forget Dean Stockwell as the inquisitive mystery writer.
Reply
post #15 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:06pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Don't forget Dean Stockwell as the inquisitive mystery writer.
AKA Stephen King.
Reply
post #16 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:09pm
Speaking of King, who else enjoyed his cameo in The Stand?

"Firewood?"
Reply
post #17 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:13pm
Now that 'The Stand' has been brought up...
I will admit to actually enjoying this when it was first on TV. As I recall, the first 2 parts of this were very good, but it ended kinda weakly. Has anyone seen this more recently that can comment on the quality of it?
Reply
post #18 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
This can't have been any worse than the miniseries version of 'The Shining' from a few years ago.
Yes, it was worse than the miniseries version of "The Shining."

With that said, if you haven't already seen the miniseries version of "The Shining," avoid.
Reply
post #19 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:15pm
I dug the Stand if only for Matt Frewer as Trashcan Man. But I haven't seen that series in like 8 or 9 years.
Reply
post #20 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:15pm
Nothing said so far has made want to do anything except watch the movie right this second.
Reply
post #21 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:19pm
I haven't seen Storm of the Century, but I know it was the only one he wrote specifically for television, so it would make sense that it would suck a bit less.

I'm always surprised at how much Langoliers awareness there is out there. I remember lolling to myself when I was reading a poker book and Dan Harrington, of all people, was referencing it as a metaphor for blind structures. He really liked it, but I only let that devalue the rest of his advice a little bit.
Reply
post #22 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renn Brown View Post
Nothing said so far has made want to do anything except watch the movie right this second.
Although I've never actually watched the damn thing, the Sci Fi Channel seems to keep it in heavy rotation (along with 'It').
Reply
post #23 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
I remember lolling to myself when I was reading a poker book and Dan Harrington, of all people, was referencing it as a metaphor for blind structures.
That was the spark for me; that's what put me on the path toward realizing that you can walk into any room and mention this fine film and be greeted with understanding and solidarity.
Reply
post #24 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Don't forget Dean Stockwell as the inquisitive mystery writer.
also don't forget Mark Lindsay Chapman firing on all cylinders as the mysterious yet heroic limey!
Reply
post #25 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:47pm
I thought the short story was terrible (and I generally like King's short stories) so never saw this. I'll get a glimpse every now and then as I channel surf, usually of langoliers themselves, rendered so as to make the Scrubbing Bubbles look like fine WETA work, and I keep right on surfin'.
Reply
post #26 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:49pm
I don't know when the story was written but how do we know if King just didn't do a bunch of coke one day and played Pac Man and suddenly had this idea.
Reply
post #27 of 48
12/2/08 at 4:58pm
Except for the idea part, that's probably pretty accurate.
Reply
post #28 of 48
12/2/08 at 5:16pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renn Brown View Post
Nothing said so far has made want to do anything except watch the movie right this second.
Again, hearing it described is much better than actually watching it. Because it takes a minute to hear it described. It takes 180 to watch the damn thing. It's got the pace of erosion.
Reply
post #29 of 48
12/2/08 at 5:26pm
Okay... Here's where I stand on The Langoliers. I actually really enjoyed the book and thought it would make an interesting movie because of its odd time travel premise. It was my second favorite from that collection (Four Past Midnight) the best of the lot being The Library Policeman (and good luck turning THAT into a good movie).

But instead of making it into a tight, feature-length thriller with an all-star cast, they decided to turn the relatively short novella into a bloated 2-part miniseries with crappy production values.

All things considered, the cast was ok. Morse, Pinchot, Stockwell, Patricia Wettig, FRANKIE FAISON... It was definitely an upper-echelon TV movie and Tom Holland tried his best. It is definitely not the worst of the King TV movies. (I still hate IT most of all because it could have been The Godfather of horror movies. It's my favorite of his books.)

I think if The Langoliers had been made as a 115 minute feature film, it would have been pretty good. It has an unusual and original premise. Some changes would have been necessary (Make "The Langoliers" more like an unseen force of nature rather than giant bowling balls with teeth) like any good film adaptation. It's not a bad book at all. I read the whole thing in one sitting and found the characters to be interesting and the suspense compelling.
Reply
post #30 of 48
12/2/08 at 5:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick Ripoll View Post
Again, hearing it described is much better than actually watching it. Because it takes a minute to hear it described. It takes 180 to watch the damn thing. It's got the pace of erosion.
This is exactly how I feel about the worst movie I've ever seen, Zombies vs. Vampires. It is utterly nonsensical, there's random lesbianism, the Van Helsing character appears to be a Colonel Sanders impersonator (if such a thing existed) with 2 YMCA karate lessons under his belt, they apparently couldn't afford a chainsaw for the big zombie carnage climax and so had to settle for a hedge trimmer, and it ends with the girl killing her father so she can run away with her lady vampire lover, only to be devoured alive by a group of child zombies that appear from literally nowhere.

Even typing that now, it sounds kinda awesome, but it's so technically inept that it becomes literally painful to watch. The awkward angles and jerky camera movements literally give you a headache. Oh, and the lesbians are maybe a 5 out of 10. Sometimes bad movies can make watching the insanity of the content as amusing as hearing about it, but you're going to get two Langoliers for every one Bad Boys 2.
Reply
post #31 of 48
12/2/08 at 5:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
I haven't seen Storm of the Century, but I know it was the only one he wrote specifically for television, so it would make sense that it would suck a bit less.
Don't forget about "Rose Red" (which I quite liked).

Random responses to this thread:

1. Poor Balki, it was all down hill after Beverly Hills Cop and "Perfect Strangers";

2. "The Langoliers" should be post-cokehead King, so I think you have to attribute it to general suckiness;

3. Where's my freakin' long-promised, never-seen "It" remake? I demand a true-to-the-novel adaptation complete with Lovecraftian overtones, a decided lack of crappy puppet spiders, and an exploration of the historical synergy between Pennywise and Derry. I will gladly accept the omission of the wrong-headed kiddie gang bang scene, however.
Reply
post #32 of 48
12/2/08 at 5:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Don't forget about "Rose Red" (which I quite liked).

Random responses to this thread:

1. Poor Balki, it was all down hill after Beverly Hills Cop and "Perfect Strangers";
You clearly haven't seen Pinchot in True Romance.
Reply
post #33 of 48
12/2/08 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
You clearly haven't seen Pinchot in True Romance.
Or I completely forgot that he was in that movie... which I have.
Reply
post #34 of 48
12/2/08 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
Don't forget about "Rose Red" (which I quite liked).
Actually, if it's alright with everyone here, I think I will.
Reply
post #35 of 48
12/2/08 at 6:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
You clearly haven't seen Pinchot in True Romance.
You... uhm.... you want me to suck his DICK?

...

Oh, who the FUCK is Dick...

Man should have gotten a Best Supporting Actor oscar for that scene alone.

His performance in The Langoliers wasn't bad. It fit the over-the-top nature of the character. He made a good heavy.
Reply
post #36 of 48
12/2/08 at 6:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schwartz View Post
Actually, if it's alright with everyone here, I think I will.
It's alright, Schwartz. I'll remember for both of us.
Reply
post #37 of 48
12/3/08 at 12:46am
Yeah, The Langoliers mini was kind of retarded, but in no way is it worse than the Rob Lowe remake of Salem's Lot that shat across TNT a few years ago. That was agony.

And allow me to slightly buck the trend and stand up a little for The Shining miniseries: Steven Weber is quite good as Jack Torrance. Too bad the whole thing was a scary as an episode of Goober & the Ghost Chasers.
Reply
post #38 of 48
12/3/08 at 12:59am
Actually, the worst King miniseries is Desperation.
Reply
post #39 of 48
12/3/08 at 12:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post

And allow me to slightly buck the trend and stand up a little for The Shining miniseries: Steven Weber is quite good as Jack Torrance. Too bad the whole thing was a scary as an episode of Goober & the Ghost Chasers.
I agree with you. Considering that he was playing a character that had already become an film icon, he holds his own. And Rebecca DeMornaay is not bad as Wendy, plus she is of course closer to the way the character was conceived in the novel.

That's the thing about the Shining TV movie. It would be perfectly acceptable TV fare, had there not already been a classic Kubrick film of the same name.

But, again, it shows why you should never bloat things. I got a sense that a good 132 minute film could have been made that was 100% faithful to King's novel. And, who knows? It might have worked. Kubrick chose to take things in a different direction. And more power to him.

But a 2 hour and 15 minute film is definitely better than 270 bloated minutes with TV production values...

Same problem with The Langoliers.
Reply
post #40 of 48
12/3/08 at 2:27am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
Actually, the worst King miniseries is Desperation.
Worse than this? AND the Tommyknockers? Yikes!

It is pretty fucking hysterical. When the pac-men came in and started eating the universe I pretty much lost my shit. And I was like...eight or ten or something.

The only King mini-series I like a little bit is Storm of the Century. Boy am I surprised I'm even remotely defending that here, but oh well. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure what was going to happen (it's the only one he's written that's not based on anything else). Maybe it's the bleak ending (it sure isn't the long lead up where nothing happens except for snow). Maybe it's the cast. But that ones OK with me. The rest can go to hell. Although I love King's cameo in The Stand.

"Were you dreaming about him? The walkin' duuude!"
Reply
post #41 of 48
12/3/08 at 3:09am
Diligently recorded this on VHS as a kid during the initial run on TV. Watched it over and over again for a few weeks.

Caught it on a Sci-Fi late night run a couple of years ago and wanted to hop back in time and punch myself in the face.
Reply
post #42 of 48
12/3/08 at 3:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Parker View Post
Worse than this? AND the Tommyknockers? Yikes
Desperation might technically be "better" than Langoliers, but it couldn't be more lazy and perfunctory. It feels like a film made because at least a couple parties involved had a contractual obligation to do so. King wrote a pretty good book, but the adaptation seems to have been throw together in about half a week. Almost every single line is exposition, and somehow in translation from book to film, it became an episode of Touched By an Angel. The filming gives the indication of having been rushed and unfinished. Basically, it's everything that doesn't work in The Stand times ten, but with none of the things that do work. Poor Steven Weber is in it as well.

The lone rose growing from this shit heap would be Ron Perlman, who is pretty much great as the chief antagonist. Until he disappears completely half way through. Seriously, he doesn't even get killed.
Reply
post #43 of 48
12/3/08 at 4:34am
The worst thing about The Shining miniseries must be that Danny is played by a cross between a molerat and a mynock.
Reply
post #44 of 48
12/3/08 at 4:52am
I had no idea they filmed this story. I think reading Patrick's summation will be the only exposure to it I allow myself.
Reply
post #45 of 48
12/3/08 at 5:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Crowley View Post
The worst thing about The Shining miniseries must be that Danny is played by a cross between a molerat and a mynock.
Looks like someone fused together Phoebe Cates and Shelley Duvall into a 10 year old.
Reply
post #46 of 48
12/3/08 at 5:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post
Looks like someone fused together Phoebe Cates and Shelley Duvall into a 10 year old.
And then that person was drawn by Todd McFarlane.
Reply
post #47 of 48
12/3/08 at 10:04am
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Kimbell View Post
And yet you'll remember it for decades. Something about The Langoliers sticks in our minds, and I'm always surprised when people bring it up in a conversation and everybody knows exactly what they're talking about.
Patrick Ripoll: You know what movie did I watched today?
Carpet: No, what movies did you watch today?
Patrick Ripoll: The Langoliers.
Carpet: Oh! Oh! The one with the things?! The things with the teeth?! And the blind girl?!

I haven't thought about this in about ten years and I could still remember it.
No one can forget this movie. Ever.
Reply
post #48 of 48
2/9/11 at 4:08pm

I'm reading Four Past Midnight now (God knows why), and reading the story automatically brought be back in time to when I was 9 and my mom rented this from Blockbuster. I thought the blind girl was the boy from Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and I remember wondering why they dressed him up like a girl. As for the story, it's awful and a definite sign of the '90s malaise in King's career. And it's correct that the "movie" has an oddly alluring quality that hypnotizes you with its awfulness that ensures that you'll never forget it.

Reply
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Films in Release or On Video
CHUD.com Community › Forums › SPECIFIC FILMS › Films in Release or On Video › The Langoliers (1995)