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Origin Story for Supervillain Sandwichface.

post #1 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:20pm
Thread Starter 
http://www.ajc.com/news/content/shar...ult.html?imw=Y
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post #2 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:27pm
I bet she got a bunch of those tiny little onion bits they have on McDonalds cheeseburgers up her nose.
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post #3 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:27pm
Sandwichface was not lovin' it.
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post #4 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:28pm
Weird, it's like this is sweeping the nation: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,454540,00.html

Also:

She can haz cheezburger.
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post #5 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:29pm
Obviously a James Cagney fan.
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post #6 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:32pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post

She can haz cheezburger.
You're better than this, sir.
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post #7 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:54pm
In his fair defense, anything is better than this. The McDonald cheeseburger, of course.
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post #8 of 22
12/5/08 at 1:59pm
If you're going to assault someone with food, do it with something lethal.

Like a "bo staff bagette", or "hard sausage nunchuck".
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post #9 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:03pm
There are major discrepancies between the two linked versions of this story. In fact, there's almost nothing but discrepancies. Driving on I-95 vs parked car, the locality it happened in, the amount of the bail, ripping down the rearview mirror to smash the windshield with, burger vs sandwich... RASHOMON with cheese. Or are they two separate incidents in Florida? That might be even odder.
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post #10 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:17pm
I believe the differences are due to the fact they are two different attacks.

CRIME WAVE!!!
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post #11 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:19pm
It's like the guy had just seen that Hitchcock episode in which a woman kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb then cooks it and serves the murder weapon to the cops -- and then he completely fucked it up.
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post #12 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:19pm
If only he'd had a gun. Damn that cooling off period.
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post #13 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:22pm
Imagine if the guy had to do some jail time for this -

"Hey! New fish! Whattaya in for, punk?"
"Assault with cheeseburger."
"Fuck. Back off him, dudes. He's a hardcase."
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post #14 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:26pm
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post #15 of 22
12/5/08 at 2:29pm
There's holding the lettuce and there's oh god I'm sorry.
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post #16 of 22
12/5/08 at 3:27pm
So this is the backstory of the Hamburgler.
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post #17 of 22
12/5/08 at 3:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nick Nunziata View Post
You're better than this, sir.
I know, I know. I think Dickson's won it though.
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post #18 of 22
12/5/08 at 3:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
I believe the differences are due to the fact they are two different attacks.
Then all I have to say, yet again, is what the fuck, Florida?
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post #19 of 22
12/5/08 at 4:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by reggie-wanker View Post
Then all I have to say, yet again, is what the fuck, Florida?
We have very little regard for the sanctity of burgers.
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post #20 of 22
12/5/08 at 7:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trav McGee View Post
It's like the guy had just seen that Hitchcock episode in which a woman kills her husband with a frozen leg of lamb then cooks it and serves the murder weapon to the cops -- and then he completely fucked it up.
That ain't Hitchcock...It's Dahl in "Tales of the Bleedin' Obvious".
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post #21 of 22
12/5/08 at 8:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tieman View Post
I believe the differences are due to the fact they are two different attacks.

CRIME WAVE!!!
Aw shit, you're on to something. First it's burger to face assults. Next it'll be chicken nuggets to the testacles. When will these bleeding heart liberals learn?!
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post #22 of 22
12/15/08 at 4:35pm
And it don't stop.
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Origin Story for Supervillain Sandwichface.