Small left-field lines or moments that crack you up - Page 3

"A diversion..." from ROTK

Those 2 weird paintings in Owen Wilson's room in The Royal Tenenbaums.

On South Park: The Movie... Terence or Philip slapping Brooke Shields in the face after a moment of dead silence after she says, "I farted once on the set of Blue Lagoon!"

Howie Long in Broken Arrow, telling Travolta that he's the man. He looks like a total doofus. Also, Samantha Mathis' reaction when Travolta touches the tip of his gun to her cheek. Her reaction is subtly orgasmic.

A recent one: When The Punisher blows that one guy's head off just as someone's trying to arrest him properly. Then the guy's just jumping around furious as if he's saying, "Damnit Frank! I would like to arrest at least ONE person today!!!!"

In Jesse James, when Paul Schneider is trying to compliment the old man's wife's cooking, but she gets slightly offended that he thinks she did it herself and so she deadpans "We got a nigger woman." (I think that may be the first time we hear her voice, too.) Cracked me up.

There was one part in the Stepford Wives that made me laugh out loud. Christopher Walken reveals his diabolical plan through a painting that turns into a video screen. Once the video is done, and it goes back to how it was, Jon Lovitz blurts out "It's a painting again!"

Pretty much all of Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang.

The Exploding Pissing Beef Ball scene in God of Cookery.

In Shaolin Soccer, our hero team going wild when they get to pick free shoes and go wild. So wild that the store owner tries to calm them, but ends up being knocked out by a sucker punch.

I endorse this.

Marge to Homer: "Im not the one who puts butter in your coffee!"

Homer to Lisa: "Without a gun, the king of England could just walk in here and start pushing you around. (Starts pushing her) You want that? Huh? DO YA?"

Moe: "It could have turned into a sticky situation, but I managed to shoot him in the spine."

Futurama has a lot of good ones. I particularly like when Zapp is singing "Leela" and, as the audience groans, some guy yells, "He sickens me!"

I catch myself doing that one all the time. Also (a la Han Solo), "Sorry 'bout the mess."

I seriously pulled a muscle laughing at that scene.

Jon Lovitz's exit in The Wedding Singer.

Paddy Considine and Rafe Spall's sublime "we've got our eye on you" double-exit in Hot Fuzz.

Most of Talladega Nights.

Raiders of the Lost Ark:

"Ha ha haaaa sonofabitch"

When Robert De Niro struggles to stop from dropping his sunglasses in MIDNIGHT RUN.

Glenn Close using the line "a back full of shiv and an ass full of cum" in The Shield.

I have two that immediately come to mind. One is from, believe it or not, the SpongeBob Squarepants Movie, where if memory serves me, Patrick and SB get out of a beating by some bikers in a bar, and their reaction that they're out of trouble is priceless. The second is from Ford Fairlane, when they're falling from the Capitol building, and Fairlane is fretting about his hair. "Mah haih..."

These little moments always get a chuckle. The Blues Brothers movie has a lot of them too.

Another one that comes to mind is Chris McDonald in Superhero Movie (I see 'em all, folks), where he coughs up blood and goes "It's healthy cough blood". Another chuckle worthy moment.

I love both of these as well.

"He's losing his mind......and I'm reaping all the benefits" *slowly shuts curtain*

"Do you really think any of us will make it out of this alive?"

*Child like panic*

"Well I might!"

Kermit Newman: The people of this nation can stomach quite a bit. But the one thing they can't stomach is the image of a vice president with a mouthful of cock.

Kermit Newman: I want something EMBARRASSING! Something sexual! Little boys, midgets, that sort of thing! Cows! I don't give a goddamn!

As delivered by Sam Elliot in 'The Contender'.

I want a an american hamburger - Iron Man

Frank T.J. Mackey: Respect the cock! And tame the cunt! Tame it! Take it on headfirst with the skills that I will teach you at work and say no! You will not control me! No! You will not take my soul! No! You will not win this game! Because it's a game, guys. You want to think it's not, huh? You want to think it's not? Go back to the schoolyard and you have that crush on big-titted Mary Jane. Respect the cock. You are embedding this thought. I am the one who's in charge. I am the one who says yes! No! Now! Here! Because it's universal, man. It is evolutional. It is anthropological. It is biological. It is animal. We... are... men!

Going into 'Magnolia', I had no idea what to expect from Tom Cruise or his character. I certainly didn't expect THIS. I still remember the whole theater rolling with laughter at this whole sequence.

Another Simpsons one. From the 'Rear Window' episode I think when Bart is calling the police and he mashes the buttons trying to get through the automated options.

Operator: "You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered press one now"


Now thats left-field greatness!

GROSSE POINTE BLANK is filled with these kinds of moments, and I've gone on and on here before about Aykroyd's "and fuck brain hole!" line, but one classic gag is Urquidez showing up at the reunion and proclaiming, "It is I, Sidney Feldman."

I'll second the love for Sam Elliot in the Contender, and for Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, especially Downey's narration ("I don't see another goddamn narrator, so pipe down." "Also, this -- gayest thing you've done yet.")

The cut from Bernard suggesting Blue Velvet to "He put his disease in me!" in Squid and the Whale still cracks me up.

This is an obscure one, and the humour of it is a bit hard to convey, but there's a bit in Trees Lounge where Steve Buscemi has been dumped by his girlfriend or something like that, out on his front driveway. At the end of the scene he's just stood there despondently on the pavement, and out of nowhere the sober melodrama of the moment is ubruptly undercut by a little kid on a tricycle zooming in from the side of the frame and crashing ineffectually into Steve's leg. Cracked me up at the time.

In LA Story, after an intense scene between Steve Martin and Victoria Tennant on the beach:
Sara: This is everything I didn't want. Pain... lying... complications.
(Richard E. Grant comes running into frame, returning from a quick errand, completely oblivious to the tension)
Roland: I'm hot from running now!

I annoy my wife to no end with that line.

More Richard E. Grant weirdness in LA Story:
Harris: What's that clanging sound?
Roland: It's a nuisance. It's my damn testicles.

Also from LA Story: every line from Patrick Stewart's cameo. The scene with him and Chevy Chase is pretty great:
Mr. Perdue: Your usual table, Mr. Christopher?
Carlo Christopher: No, I'd like a good one this time.
Mr. Perdue: I'm sorry, that is impossible.
Carlo Christopher: Part of the new cruelty?
Mr. Perdue: I'm afraid so.

'Fargo': (Bear with me; it's been a long time since I've seen the film) There's a scene where a cop is talking to a man who is shoveling his driveway. The cop asks the case related questions fairly quickly (gets them out of the way), but then the conversation turns to the weather and gets alot more animated.

That scene is one of the truest, purest Minnesota scenes ever filmed. It's hilarious in how accurate it is.

In the episode of The Simpsons about the Itchy and Scratchy movie, there's a scene of the long line waiting to see the movie. The line goes over a drawbridge, which raises up and drops one of the people into the river. As he falls, he shouts, "I regret nothing!" Kills me every time.

I love that as much as the episode where the teachers go on strike. Some guy freaks out and jumps out a window only to reverse himself back to where he was sitting and adjust his tie as if nothing had happened.

Oh and from that Itchy & Scratchy movie episode. Homer thinking Earl Warren was a stripper.

From the John Waters Simspons episode:

Moe: Where you been, Homer? The entire steel industry is gay. Eh, aerospace, too, and the railroads. And you know what else? *pause* Broadway.

The pause that Azaria gives just cracks me up every time. For some reason this line is often cut in syndication.

In South Park...the Raisins ep? Maybe? Stan tells Bebe to go talk to Wendy and tell her that he loves him. Bebe tells him to do the Say Anything routine with a boombox and Peter Gabriel.

And he plays "Shock the Monkey." Killed me the first time and still gets me when I think about it.

If we're dropping Simpsons lines, I'll go with a quietly deft role-reversal.

In D.C., the family admiring the Washington Monument: Marge snickers and whispers in Homer's ear, and Homer softly says, "Oh, Marge, grow up."

Slays me.

Boogie Nights:

Paraphrasing:

"Aren't you afraid of the evil forces?"
"It's not evil forces, it's an illusion."
"You're right, it's confusing."

BEAT

"Thank you."

Carlito's Way:

"Where's my cheesecake?"

Anything Craig Robinson says in Zack and Miri Make A Porno. He just has this way of underhanding lines that just make you burst into laughter.

From the New York episode of The Simpsons. Bart visting Mad Magazine in which Alfred E. Newman pops out of a door in which every crazy Mad magazine character runs around in the background.

"Get me Kaputnik and Phonebone on the phone. I want to see their skteches for New Kids on the Bleecch."

Door then reopens.

"And where's my phshluggenah pstrami sandwich?!"

*Slam*

"I'll never wash these eyes again."

More Boogie Nights:

"Are those lizard?"
"No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these."

I, I think she did too muck coke!"
"Oh, you think so doctor?"

"My fucking wife has an ass in her cock over in the driveway, alright?"

While pretty much all of Anchorman could qualify, I gotta go with "UUUUUHHAQUALUNG!!!!"

Dumb and Dumber is chock full of them ("I have a rapist wit" is high in the running), but probably my favorite part of the movie is:

"How'd he die?"
"(sob) His head fell off."
"...Wow."
"Yeah, he was pretty old."

Walk Hard is full of so many great moments. At the end when they show Elvis threatening him with a switchblade, and Dewey has that frightened look makes me laugh so much, as does him getting off of the giant spinning W. Also Tim Meadows "And you never once paid for drugs. Not once." The whole movie has great moments.

In Half Baked:

"I believe him yo. I don't know why, but I do."

Diaz's delivery slays me every time.

The really enthusiastic asian satanist at the end of Rosemary's Baby always made me laugh. He's just got this big grin on his face and the way he yelled "Hail Satan!" always brought me out of the movie.

My favorite is "Come on. What the hell?" when the truck enters his lane on the freeway.

One of my favorite Wire moments is Kenard selling the junkie his drugs.

"Bitch, get the fuck across the street and plant your ass on the stoop."

The junkie's reaction always makes me laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpmLJY92ejM

*purple-monkey-dishwasher*

That whole Teacher's Strike episode is gold. Bart's "Hello, mother dear..." to Lisa going insane from the lack of school.

"I fell off the jetway again"

Or the bit were Carrey does that ridiculous lick-lipping action when he's putting the laxative in the coffee

"Paddlin the school canoe...oh you better believe that's a paddlin."

Man, The Wire is filled with left field lines that I love.

Lt. Daniels to McNulty as the elevator doors close: "Too be continued".

There's one scene where they have a couple of perps in for questioning and they're telling perp #1 that his friend (perp #2) just sold him out for a Big Mac combo. Just as they tell him this they parade the guy down the hallway in front of the interrogation room in front of perp #1.

Perp #2: I still ain't tellin' ya'll shit.

Perp #1 *sees perp #2 eating McDonald's*: What the fuck!?

Jasper's shining moment came when Mr. Burns got shot: "Hey! This sidewalk is for normal walking. Not that there fancy walking!"

Not to turn this into a The Simpsons thread (which it could very, very easily become), but in the episode "Brother from the Same Planet," the nun is lifted off the ground by the strong wind, flies behind a mountain, and explodes.

While screaiming "This isn't funny!"

And probably the best random explosion has to be the guy creashing into a MILK truck only to explode in a ball of random flame.

That and when Homer ran from a giant fireball created from Pop Rocks and Soda.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (the show, not the movie) is nothing but these moments, really.

"I was touched. by the power. on my unit. In broad daylight. Starring Lou Diamond Phillips."

From the Bee-Sharps episode

"And that little boy who nobody wanted grew up to became....Roy Cohn."

"Wow!"

"And now you know, the rest of the story"

Aqua Teen Hunger Force does have some good ones. They definitely enjoy the random explosion gag.

"You need to pay your share of the rent!"
"I pay you no mind!"

*noise outside*
"What was that noise?"
"Just some girl... begging for my body."

Funniest random thing out of Aqua Teen for me.

Handbanana.

"I only know words like ball and good....and rape!"

And the muffled sound of Carl screaming "Handbanana, no!"

I know a few people are saying Super Troopers, but claiming there are too many lines. That's actually true, but there's one that gets me laughing every time:

"How ya doin' down there, Mac?"

"Good enough to... FUCK yer motherrrr!"


One on screen gag that came out of left field for me and had me laughing my ass off I never even noticed until I saw the movie years later:


Right after the Ghostbusters successfully bust their first ghost (ol' Onionhead) at the hotel, Peter is going over the bill with the head of the hotel. The best part is the subtlety with which Egon is feeding him the numbers. That scene gets me everytime.

Funny thing is, I never noticed that bit until earlier this year. I got to see Ghostbusters on the big screen for the first time at the AMC theater last January. I never had the chance to see it in theaters (I was a poor boy from a poor family living in a trailer park) when it first came out, so my initial experiences with the film were repeated viewings on HBO and VHS (so, it was Pan & Scan - ugh). Funny thing is, even after I was able to get it on DVD, I still never noticed Egon with his hand gestures, mainly because the whole time I'm focused on Venkman going through his car salesman spiel with the hotel manager. That combined with the fact that Egon's schtick is probably not even seen in the P&S version, I ended up missing out on a great bit that is now one of my favorite moments in film. And part of that is because it just seems so out of character for Egon to be feeding him numbers like that. It made so much sense when I was a kid to think it was just Venkman making up numbers off the top of his head, as he had that whole car salesman (game show host) vibe going on. But with the addition of this extra bit, the scene is so much funnier to me.

I think you brought this up in a Ghostbusters thread and I don't know if I showed my gratitude for point this out. I never noticed this either due to years of seeing a Pan & Scan VHS tape. I saw it later on DVD and in a 70mm presentation and still didn't see it. Great stuff. So much character work going on in that movie.