Small left-field lines or moments that crack you up - Page 2

"Quick impression for you. 'Caw, caw...' Bang! 'Fuck, I'm dead!'"
-Michael Wincott, "The Crow"

The OCEAN'S movies (especially TWELVE) have a wealth of great little throwaways, but a bit I love from ELEVEN is when Brad Pitt is teaching the group of young actors the finer points of poker. Something about the sotto voce way Barry Watson says "Fold? Is that gay?" cracks my shit up.

And it's true that Bill Murray owns this thread. I still use "I was right in the MIDDLE of something, Ray!" to this day. Not to mention the immortal "Dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria!"

Love that, especially as he holds the cat up and says "Weird!"

Two moments, from Fight Club:

After Norton gets "beat up" by his boss. He's bloodied and whistling while pushing the cart of computer stuff down the hall with everyone looking at him... The quick nod he gives the one guy kills me.

The other is when Norton and Pitt get the stolen fat caught on the fence and it starts spilling. Pitt tries to catch it in his hands, Norton starts gagging, Pitt falls. So funny.

Nah, the killer in that one is Clooney being startled while sleeping, waking up, and the first words out of his mouth being "My hair!"

The one that comes to mind immediately is in Pineapple Express, during the house fight scene, when Red is in the bathroom trying to keep Saul and Dale from breaking in and he goes "you're gonna break the door! You gonna pay for it?" I didn't really laugh the first time I saw it, but when I watched the clip on youtube a few days ago it just made me hang my head and chuckle.

Pretty much any line from Woody Allen in most of his movies, but here's a few from Annie Hall:

"My grammy never gave gifts... she was too busy getting raped by Cossacks."

"Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here."

After killing some spiders: "What did you want me to do? Capture em and rehabilitate em?"

Recently, George Clooney's long, angry walk to get his love pillow from the bedroom in BURN AFTER READING.

Actually, most of that movie.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS is jam-packed with winners, especially that fight scene. I love the way Red shuts the bathroom door and yells "Stay out of here!"

Also from Big Trouble. Lo Pan chastises one of his henchmen on the telephone, his voice seething with evil and menace, "Boil them until their flesh falls off". Then a brief pause, and a much less composed, "You heard me!".

Kills me every time.

From Revenge of the Sith, of all things:

Mace, Obi-wan and Yoda are flying around in their floaty cab thing discussing Anakin.

Mace: I don't trust him.

Obi: Isn't he the Chosen One?

Mace: So the Prophecy says.

Yoda: A Prophecy that misread could have been.

Then Mace gives Yoda a quintessential Samual L. Jackson "Fuckin' A!" look that made spit out my soda at how out of place it was.

I didn't find Tom Cruise dancing to be particularly funny in Tropic Thunder, and when he's trying to convince Matthew McConaughey to get on board with his plan to get rid of Tugg Speedman and says "I know you want the goodies" it's still not that funny. But then Bill Hader follows it up with a "welcome to the goodie room" and it floors me.

Han Solo detention center conversation, I always have loved it..

"Boring conversation anyways..."

Speaking of Billy Madison, this.

Ric Olié: "Those are the forward stabilizers."

Anakin: "And those two control the pitch."

*awestruck stare at Anakin*

Ric Olié: "You catch on pretty quick."

Don't touch me!
You're not mah friend!

In Return of the Jedi, after Leia's found out by Jabba and carried off, the camera lingers on some random goon. The goon, however, turns out to be none other than Lando Calrissian, as Lando helpfully and mysteriously lowers his mask for the benefit of the audience.

I dunno, that makes me laugh pretty hard nowadays.

Chewie has the best one-liners in Star Wars.

There is this brief moment in Broadcast News where Albert Brooks suddenly looks down, sees a bit of red fluff on his shirt then brushes it off with a disgusted expression. Killed me for some reason.

"I have no idea what you guys are talking about? I thought we were here to talk about petroleum". - Tommy Corn

From 'Ocean's 11':

'Ted Nugent called. He wants his shirt back'.

"Obviously, you're not a golfer."

"Hey! UFO!" - GOD OF COOKERY

"I brought you jewels!" - FREDDY GOT FINGERED

The Triad thug who's usually tormenting Cheung chugs down a refreshing cup of Cheung's "special tea" in slow motion - LITTLE CHEUNG

Rob Schneider tears into Jean-Claude Van Damme's ass with an eel - KNOCK OFF

Indy casually shoots the swordsman - RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

Bernard Farcy practicing his martial arts in the mirror as he prepares for combat in TAXI 2

The Gasoline Fight in ZOOLANDER

McDull's mom as a hero in a video game - MY LIFE AS MCDULL

"All day long, I'm lookin' for marbles!" - Ensign Pulver, Mister Roberts

Gets me chuckling every time I think of it.

"What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!" - "Lethal Weapon",Gibson has got some fine comedy chops.

Pretty much anytime Tony Soprano tries to reuse a phrase from someone (often while yelling), for example....

"It's more like a weekend retreat at Captain Teebs!"

...and anytime they crew gives out a big italian "Whoah!"

"How much?"
"Only $4800."

"Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk."
"You know how much a patent clerk earns?"
"No."

"I gotta get some sleep, I'm dying."
"You don't look good."
"I don't?"
"You've looked better. You didn't USED to look like this."

These little exchanges makes me want to watch Ghostbusters all day long.

Tom Cruise's best bit in Tropic Thunder was "Well, you're a great American. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

The bit in Pineapple Express that maybe didn't make me laugh that much at the time, but has me in stitches just thinking about it is James Franco sat on the swing with a giant sandwich, crying as he eats it and the little girl staring at him in pity.

Danny Glover walking through the construction site in the Royal Tenenbaums.

I don't know why I laughed so hard and so long, but when he steps into the pit, and just disappears off screen, my buddy and I were in tears.

The Bananna Peel from Billy Madison.

All the names from Anchorman...Wes Mantooth, Dorothy Mantooth, Dr. Chim Richards, Mike Rithjin, Champ Kind, Dr. Kenneth Noiswater, Tom O'Leary, Brick, etc...

Brick's second quieter "I love lamp"

Pineapple Express has tons of great moments like this. Probably my favorite is when the fight in Red's house starts.

Dale comes out of the bathroom and and sees Red beating up Saul and screaming, "What we do in this life echoes in eternity!" I think I almost missed it the first time I saw it since the audience was laughing so much. When I noticed it on DVD I could have woken the neighbors with how hard I laughed.

A lot of Dale's lines where he's trying to solve problems out loud are great moments. When he tries to break Red's phone he says, "Toilet! Flush!" When he and Saul are in the woods and Saul runs scared at something he heard, Dale stands there and yells, "Return to me!" Running through the woods after that he's yelling, "I surrender!"

My favorite of Dale's little moments is probably when he breaks into Ted Jones' compound to save Saul. When they take his guns he says, "I have one in my leg, I know you're going to find it, just take it. Sorry I deceived you!"

Oh, and one from Anchorman. When Ron's co-anchors are talking about how Veronica's messing things up for them.

Fantana: "She's a real ice queen."
Brick Tamlund (drinking coffee): "Mmm. I just burned my tongue."

I'd talk about Pineapple Express or Super Troopers in here, but then I'd be here all day.

Return of the King: The scene where Gandalf knocks out Denethor with his staff. The "you sit your crazy ass down" look on McKellen's face always makes me cackle.

The way Brick holds the grenande in Anchorman.

Sheer brilliance

the second bottle of syrup thrown at the guy from off screen in Super Troopers



in Harold and Kumar 2

'see if he's got some koo-laid'

All from Wet Hot American Summer:

Well guys, we've made it to the end of the summer in one piece, except for a few campers who are lepers.

McKinley, there are some lower campers stuck in the obstacle course. I meant to tell you about that yesterday, but could you get to it now?

So that's where my priorities are right now. Sex. Specifically with Andy and not with you.

It's always fun to get away from camp. Even if it's only for an hour.

In The Royal Tennebaums, there's a moment where Gene Hackman makes a call phone call in the house, and in the background, for no immediately apparent reason, Pagoda the butler is doing a headstand. Also, the artwork and huge stacks of pornography littering Owen Wilson's apartment.

In Zoolander, the strange little high-heeled trot Will Ferrel does over to the model of the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good. Also, right after Jon Voight delivers the best line of the movie, "You're dead to me, boy. You're more dead to me...than your dead muddah." Vince Vaughn and whoever plays the other brother give Derek these really bitter glares, like they're somehow offended he brought it up.

The now missing "I ate a big red candle" is another classic Anchorman Brick line.

A favorite from Super Troopers:

"How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?"

That one kills me.

"Oy, there's my driver, I'm going to have sex with her!"-Aldous Snow from FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is probably destined for one-liner quote heaven.

"Right, I was going to do that, then I decided to keep on living my life..."

I can't believe I forgot Amy Yip vomiting down Stephen Chow's throat in THE MAGNIFICENT SCOUNDRELS (presented here), a moment of brilliance in a film that is otherwise entirely mediocre. This DVD is one I've almost traded in any number of times, but then I think of this scene and return it proudly to my shelf.

Speaking of Wet Hot American Summer, the look Showalter gives the camera when whatsherface is describing why she wants Paul Rudd over him. That movie is full of greatness.

"Oh fuck my cock."

Also, and I'm a huge Made fan (hence the avatar), there's a scene where Sam Rockwell is showing Favreau and Vaughn there rooms at the SoHo Grand where Rockwell (under his breath) says "and the downstairs gym is great for people watching, sometimes Willem Dafoe stops by". I hadn't caught that until the 20th or so viewing.

Funniest line in the whole movie, which was pretty hilarious to begin with.

And right after Derek proclaims that the center must be at least 3x bigger, Ferrel says "Oh my God. He's absolutely right..." and the look on his face is priceless.

Danny McBride saying "Big ass titties" right before he sets the explosives off in Tropic Thunder had me laughing my ass off.

Also from Harold And Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay, "Oh man his dick smells like shit."

The "Are you chewing gum?" moment in Sideways.

Pretty much anything in The Big Lebowski, Ghostbusters, and Super Troopers.

There's a throwaway line at the end of LETHAL WEAPON 3 (ok, not a classic, but still) that gets me every time: Riggs is telling Murtaugh about his dog biscuit problem, and says, "I try and lick my balls but I keep falling off the couch."

And I hate to be the guy who brings up THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, but Warren's off camera "He was masturbating!" is greatness.

The best is the off-screen "Snuffleupagus? Fucks my shit up."

In Dirty Work, Norm McDonald telling his love interest "I'm going to go...lift weights...what?"
He's just so disappointed in himself, it's great.