What was that book again?

Sounds like 'The Fury' (Farris)...with aliens.

It also sounds like Flight of the Navigator.

Working on it...

Okay. Two options, both by the same author. Let me know if I got it.

The Antrian Messenger by G. Clifton Wisler

Review (from School Library Journal): Gr 5-9 It may be natural for a 14 year old to feel like an alien, but Scott Childers discovers that he really is one. Adopted by humans as a baby, he is now beginning to show special powers. The men in black are after Scott, and the government wants to experiment on him, so he is forced to choose his alien heritage over human family and friends. Then disaster threatens those Scott loves, and he makes the ultimate sacrifice. This short, readable science fiction tale uses all the emotional ploys most likely to attract readers. The plot moves as quickly as a comic book, and the issues and emotions are equally shallow. Reluctant readers and teens who don't think they like science fiction will breeze through this story, but science fiction fans will find it lacking.

or

The Seer by G. Clifton Wisler

Review (from Booklist): Gr. 5-8. In The Antrian Messenger [BKL Ap 15 86], Scott found his normal existence disrupted when he learned that he was a being from the Antrian System in outer space. This sequel carries on that story as Scott and his mentor Tiaf attempt to live a normal life in a small town in Nebraska. However, the boy's ability to sense coming disasters and his power of telekinesis aren't ones he can ignore. What could have been a devastating lightning bolt at a baseball game and a cave-in at an abandoned cavern test those powers, but they also make Scott realize that his destiny as a seer is one he must accept and use. Scott's dilemma about wanting a routine life is well delineated, as are the descriptions of his powers in action. Fantasy fans will like the combination of ESP and realism, while readers of contemporary stories may find this a good path to new reading frontiers. BE.

I know it's not the Mindwarp series but damn if it doesn't sound similar.

Ok, since we've opened this thread, I have one. I posted a description (or, at least, my recollection of it) on another thread (the Favorite Kid's Lit thread) with no luck. But it's worth a shot:

It's a children's novel set in England and, mostly, London. It's the story of what happens to children when they're abandoned or run away from home. Basically, they're transformed into pick-pocket elves. Seriously. Further, they're engaged in a long-standing war with, like, rat creatures whose primary weapon is a blow gun that fires poisoned rose thorns.

That's about all I can remember about the story, except that, at one point, at least one of the elves is kidnapped and enslaved by a shop keeper or antique dealer or something. I borrowed it from the public library in either Neshanic Station, NJ or Long Branch, NJ about 20 years ago.

Again, any thoughts or suggestions as to the title would be most appreciated.

This thread sounds very familar to The Onion's "Ask the A.V. Club" section they would run on Friday's. Not that I don't think having it here is a bad idea mind you.

Which means that we can say, with about 90% certainty, that Jared's not remembering a book at all, but an episode of The Twilight Zone or a Ray Bradbury short story.

I'm personally going to go ahead and assume that he dreamed it. Helps me maintain my street cred in the face of apparent failure.

And I'll see what I can do, Mattioli. I've already checked the collections of the libraries you mentioned, but no dice.

Not to impugn MissZooey's excellent capabilities as a librarian, but I have used this site to some success in the past. There is an option to search by plot.

http://www.allreaders.com/

If my childhood memories serve me, the book was falling apart when I read it, so there's a good chance it's long gone.

But, much obliged for any help. I knew that friendship bracelet would pay off one of these days.

Upon review, I'm pretty sure that's a combination of Peter Pan and Oliver Twist. Did you drink a lot as a child?

I am seriously beginning to believe that it's all the product of some fever dream.

And, of course, I drank a lot as a child. Buzzed by show'n'tell, that was my motto.

OK...an easy one...two book series by famous science-fiction author totally devoted to porn.
And by porn I'm talking ambulatory vaginas and sentient penises, among others...

I read a reprint back in the mid-80s, yet for the life of me can't find who wrote them...(alright, not QUITE true, but some books WILL spoil what the author is better known for.)

This shouldn't take long.

Miss Zooey, I'm sure you don't even need to open a database for THIS one!

I remember A.R. tests. On the computer, right? Yeah, I rocked the shit at those.

Hell yeah, Accelerated Reader was the shit.

Piers Anthony?

Honestly, I'm a little afraid of the prospect of constructing search terms for that one. But, like bendrix said, Piers Anthony?

Sorry, hon. Must... save... face.

Damn it, Zooey. Where's my transformed-orphan-elf-versus-rat-creature-in-the-sewers-of-London-fever-dream-kiddie-lit title?

I'M TRYING!!!

...but I still think you were a child alcoholic.

6th grade AP English class, we all read the book where the world was in Nuclear Winter, and Australia was all that was left. The people in Australia spent their days waiting on the nuclear cloud to come over the country and wipe them out. What's it called?!

...6th grade AP English class?

Really?

Wait, is this some Canadian thing?

Sorry for the double-post, but that, I am absolutely certain, is On the Beach, by Nevil Shute. Fun fact - they made it into a movie!

Thats who I was thinking also. When I was in 5-6th grade I read the shit out of a lot of Anthony's less mainstream novels and he had a lot of weird sexual stuff in them. The series that sticks out most in my mind was Cththon (sp?) or something like that where the hero had sex with his mother who was some kind of weird robot sex-slave thing. And his Kirlian Aura books were chock full of inter-species sex and weird creatures gaining sentience and knocking boots.

That sounds like On the Beach.

On The Beach is correct, gracias. And AP English a Canuck thing? Nope, I was raised in Houston/Dallas. We actually called it "Horizons" in my school district, but it was the "upper level" courses.

Not Piers Anthony, unfortunately.

I'm pretty sure MORE mainstream SF; when I started reading them it was WTF??