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The Rules of the CHUD Message Board

post #1 of 74
12/18/08 at 4:49pm
Thread Starter 
Inspired by something DaveB said in the Stalwarts thread: let's list what should be the unwritten rules of this board. There's not a ton of moderation here, so these are all self-policing rules.

1) Read the fucking thread. Don't come in and just drop your thoughts without seeing if someone has already said the same thing. We were not waiting on pins and needles for your review of a movie that came out two weeks ago, and which you have likely cross-posted across the net like a hack reviewer Johnny Appleseed. And definitely don't say "I haven't read all the replies yet, but..." Fuck you if you do.
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post #2 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:04pm
2) Please use the search function to see if a thread already exists before creating a new one.

3) Please read the original post carefully before responding.
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post #3 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:06pm
Does the search function work again?
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post #4 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:10pm
4) Don't start a post-release thread for a film you haven't seen to "get the ball rolling" and see your name attached to it if it refuses to die, like Indy 4

5) Bogus replies like "Agreed" "He said everything I was going to" and "[a quote] THIS." should never be the entirety of your post. If you have the uncontrollable urge to have your name in every thread, come up with something to actually say on the subject.
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post #5 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:12pm
6) Don't abuse the Edit function. If you say something inflammatory or stupid, well, you should have thought about it before you hit Post. Stand behind your words and take what's coming to you. Ret-conning your posts is cowardly.
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post #6 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:18pm
If it's a thread about a news item on the front page, read the damned article before joining the discussion.
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post #7 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Misfit View Post
If it's a thread about a news item on the front page, read the damned article before joining the discussion.
And if you come across news elsewhere, don't start a thread about it -- submit it as a scoop. If a reasonable amount of time passes and it's not posted on the site, go nuts.
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post #8 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryan S~ View Post
2) Please use the search function to see if a thread already exists before creating a new one.
Good rule, but the search function is for shit.
Let's amend that to say, "Please PM Darkmite8 to see if a thread already exists before creating a new one."
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post #9 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:23pm
Use the "Submit News" function. It amazes me how many people show up and post something without submitting it as a scoop first. Even if it doesn't get picked up, at least go through the motions before starting a thread and getting people pissed off at you.

EDIT: Beaten to the punch by Dickson.
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post #10 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:24pm
7) Talk more about the discussions on the forums than contribute to them.
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post #11 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
Inspired by something DaveB said in the Stalwarts thread: let's list what should be the unwritten rules of this board. There's not a ton of moderation here, so these are all self-policing rules.

1) Read the fucking thread. Don't come in and just drop your thoughts without seeing if someone has already said the same thing. We were not waiting on pins and needles for your review of a movie that came out two weeks ago, and which you have likely cross-posted across the net like a hack reviewer Johnny Appleseed. And definitely don't say "I haven't read all the replies yet, but..." Fuck you if you do.
Agree wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, anyone who would do this would never read this thread before doing so.
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post #12 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:27pm
Only make jokes if they're funny. Example of a funny joke:

"Hey, how can they be unwritten rules if we're writing them down!?!?!?"

When appropriate, you can follow up your funny joke with:

"See what I did there?"

OR

"AYOOOOOOO!!!!!"
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post #13 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:44pm
8. If you throw some drama queen fit and proclaim "I quit the boards," then stick to your word and quit. Don't come back a few weeks later and start posting as if you hadn't proclaimed you quit. Have some goddamn self-respect for yourself, you mook.
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post #14 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:50pm
Didn't Devin do that once? Whoops.

9. Don't respond to obvious trolls. It only gives them attention. However, you can respond to Duke Fleed if you want to know what it's like to speak to a living, breathing joke of a human being.
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post #15 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:53pm
10. "It's my opinion, so it's just as valid as your opinion and you can't argue with it" is never a valid technique to take in a debate or discussion.
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post #16 of 74
12/18/08 at 5:56pm
11. Come up for another metaphor when tempted to accuse someone of setting up a straw man.
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post #17 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:00pm
12. It's better not to empty post. No cares if you want to see something, either see it and talk about it or don't.
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post #18 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:03pm
13. Stick to the topic at hand. Use the Private Message function to hold personal, off-topic conversations.
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post #19 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:12pm
14. Maintain a civil and calm demeanor while posting on the messageboards.
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post #20 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:23pm
15. Write your post so people can understand what you're talking about. Subject-verb agreement and other such basic tenets of language construction are of course important communicative tools, but this also applies to needlessly oblique expressions of thought. Trying too hard to come across like a literary genius doesn't make you sound more credible; it just makes you sound like a pretentious douche.
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post #21 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:25pm
16. Conversely, an occasional typo or misspelled word should not be grounds for disregarding the entire content of a post.
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post #22 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
16. Conversely, an occasional typo or misspelled word should not be grounds for disregarding the entire content of a post.
17. And realize that English isn't the first language for everyone who posts here. Be more sensitive to the boaters, folks.
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post #23 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonathan Banks is my hero View Post
15. Write your post so people can understand what you're talking about. Subject-verb agreement and other such basic tenets of language construction are of course important communicative tools, but this also applies to needlessly oblique expressions of thought. Trying too hard to come across like a literary genius doesn't make you sound more credible; it just makes you sound like a pretentious douche.
15b. Alot. Their/They're. Its/It's. Peeked/Peaked/Piqued. Your/You're. Which/That. I realize that it's a doggy dog world on the boards, but please try and understand the difference between these grouped terms.
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post #24 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:47pm
18. Be more like Minsky.
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post #25 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:47pm
19. 'teh' is your friend...as is 'ROFL'.
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post #26 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:51pm
20. Make liberal use of google. It can determine whether a thread on your topic exists, it can lead you to a definition of a term, it can prevent you from ever having to say something you're unsure about factually.
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post #27 of 74
12/18/08 at 6:53pm
21. Have fun and enjoy yourself. IT's just a messageboard....
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post #28 of 74
12/18/08 at 7:05pm
22. Adding someone to your ignore list is always better than hounding him for months in sundry threads.
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post #29 of 74
12/18/08 at 7:10pm
23: If you step on your dick( or tits...), man(woman) up and admit it. Conversely, stick to your opinion... even if it's wrong. The fastest way to lose respect is to be seen as an indecisive person.
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post #30 of 74
12/18/08 at 7:18pm
24. No more "fixed" posts.
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post #31 of 74
12/18/08 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
The fastest way to lose respect is to be seen as an indecisive person.
Or agree with me.
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post #32 of 74
12/18/08 at 7:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
Conversely, stick to your opinion... even if it's wrong. The fastest way to lose respect is to be seen as an indecisive person.
Bullshit. If your opinion has been corrected a thousand ways from Sunday then be smart enough to realize you were wrong and why. Don't just blindly stick to an opinion for the sake of "sticking to an opinion." That's dumb.

That said - I'd really like to see the dogpiling stop. If someone has soundly and smartly corrected someone who's said something dumb (or is in the process of correcting them), let that stand. Add something new if you have something new to add, but don't just talk shit because you can. Endless strings of "You're a prick" and "Die in a fire" really accomplish nothing. And if the person who said the dumb thing just isn't getting it - disengage. They're just looking for attention anyway.
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post #33 of 74
12/19/08 at 9:39am
If you don't like the topic of a thread stay out of it.
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post #34 of 74
12/19/08 at 11:09am
26. No more replying to Duke Fleed posts with comments about either how awesome he is or what an aspergers-ridden retard/troll/faker he is. Either ignore the guy or answer somewhat on topic.
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post #35 of 74
12/19/08 at 11:16am
27. If you're new, spend a good month reading the boards without posting much, if at all. Get to know the culture of the boards.
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post #36 of 74
12/19/08 at 11:31am
This has been a problem recently.

28. Bump a thread instead of starting a new one. If there's one reason I was attracted to these boards in the first place, it was the organization.

Also, the search function on this site still can't find me half the stuff I'm looking for, but you can always make sure you use the "something site:chud.com" Google method as mentioned above. We can bitch about the lousy search feature all we want but that's not really an excuse for starting a thread and trying to exonerate yourself with the "I don't know if there's already thread for this...". I'm probably guilty of breaking this rule, so feel free to call me out on it - still doesn't make it okay for others to do it.
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post #37 of 74
12/19/08 at 11:40am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt M View Post
27. If you're new, spend a good month reading the boards without posting much, if at all. Get to know the culture of the boards.
2541: Then maybe just post about movies for a few months or a year before sharing too much personal shit. If you can't figure out why it's okay for Swice or Cobretti to post cute pics of their kids but not for you to drunkenly start threads about your non-viable sperm a month after you've joined, you haven't thought it through to the right conclusion yet. Keep at it.
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post #38 of 74
12/19/08 at 12:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post
28. Bump a thread instead of starting a new one. If there's one reason I was attracted to these boards in the first place, it was the organization.

Also, the search function on this site still can't find me half the stuff I'm looking for, but you can always make sure you use the "something site:chud.com" Google method as mentioned above.
As a Bonus, spending some time searching back through old threads can turn up all sorts of interesting nuggets. More than once I've gone searching to see if there's an old thread discussing Ghandi or Witness, only to get distracted into bumping a thread about Deadly Friend or CHUD boobies.
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post #39 of 74
12/19/08 at 12:22pm
Post NSFW tags with all pornographic links, but mainly just post pornographic links.
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post #40 of 74
12/19/08 at 12:36pm
29. Post Count does not equal status.

Because someone has a higher post count does not mean that their opinions carry more weight, only that they have posted more times than others.

30. Avoid Post Whoring. (see 29)
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post #41 of 74
12/19/08 at 1:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Let's amend that to say, "Please PM Darkmite8 to see if a thread already exists before creating a new one."
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post #42 of 74
12/19/08 at 1:28pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrew Eaton View Post
28. Bump a thread instead of starting a new one.
Unless it's about Indiana Jones, or Star Wars, or Batman, or something else that people apparently shouldn't be talking about because it annoys Devin and Nordling.
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post #43 of 74
12/19/08 at 1:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
2541: Then maybe just post about movies for a few months or a year before sharing too much personal shit. If you can't figure out why it's okay for Swice or Cobretti to post cute pics of their kids but not for you to drunkenly start threads about your non-viable sperm a month after you've joined, you haven't thought it through to the right conclusion yet. Keep at it.
Seconding this. Half of the people who do this need to take a rusty hammer to their own load.
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post #44 of 74
12/19/08 at 1:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Seconding this. Half of the people who do this need to take a rusty hammer to their own load.
My God your penis fascinates you.
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post #45 of 74
12/19/08 at 2:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
2541: Then maybe just post about movies for a few months or a year before sharing too much personal shit. If you can't figure out why it's okay for Swice or Cobretti to post cute pics of their kids but not for you to drunkenly start threads about your non-viable sperm a month after you've joined, you haven't thought it through to the right conclusion yet. Keep at it.
As a poster who has done this I would like to apologize. In my defense, I had been a member for over a year but I rarely posted. Also, I am pretty much a social retard so when I interact with people it almost never ends well. That's why my post count is 400 yet I am on here everyday.

To contribute to the thread though,

Rule 31. Have some patience with posters who aren't the smartest snails on the platter. A lot of you are very intelligent, some of us aren't. This rule doesn't count for the willfully ignorant.
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post #46 of 74
12/19/08 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minsky View Post
I realize that it's a doggy dog world on the boards, but please try and understand the difference between these grouped terms.
What in god's name is a doggy dog world?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=td2e9KBIbgU ?
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post #47 of 74
12/19/08 at 5:28pm
dog eat dog?
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post #48 of 74
12/19/08 at 5:32pm
Attica! Attica!
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post #49 of 74
12/19/08 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
What in god's name is a doggy dog world?
A joke about grammar and language ruined by explaining?
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post #50 of 74
12/19/08 at 5:34pm
32. If a thread doesn't interest you, don't go in and tell everyone how little it interests you.
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