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Oh man, this must have felt so good

post #1 of 25
12/27/08 at 4:42am
Thread Starter 
I know exactly what this guy was feeling.

http://www.philly.com/philly/hp/news...ing_movie.html

The best part is at the end when it says that he sat back down to finish the movie.
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post #2 of 25
12/27/08 at 5:07am
Were it not for Australia's quite strict gun control laws I would have had my civil liberties removed from me for performing such a community service act many, many years ago.
Pity the film isn't so hot.
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post #3 of 25
12/27/08 at 8:59am
Has the church appointed a patron saint of cinephiles, yet? Cause this guy's a strong candidate.
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post #4 of 25
12/27/08 at 9:08am
Good. Give the man a medal.
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post #5 of 25
12/27/08 at 10:39am
Yeah, 'cause this is a reasonable response.
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post #6 of 25
12/27/08 at 10:48am
I was at this theater last week. I didn't pick the theater. It's the worst place in town to see a movie.

Philly has a Hollywood Street? Priceless.
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post #7 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:21pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Yeah, 'cause this is a reasonable response.
It's not reasonable. It's above and beyond the call of duty. Hence the medal.
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post #8 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:27pm
I hope there's a blurb on the DVD:

"Benjamin Button is so good, I had to shoot a bitch for talking!!"-James Joseph Cialella Jr
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post #9 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:28pm
Which is why I love my blu ray and and a big screen. Hopefully will get a projector pretty soon.
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post #10 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:30pm
That guy looks like Philadelphia.
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post #11 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:32pm
So that I can experience what it is like to see a movie in Philadelphia, i'll watch it on dvd, eat a cheese steak, and shoot myself in the arm. That's gotta be better than 3D!
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post #12 of 25
12/27/08 at 2:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Yeah, 'cause this is a reasonable response.
Agreed. A taser to the nuts would have been just as effective and less messy.
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post #13 of 25
12/27/08 at 3:03pm
The logistics of tasering someone's nuts inside a movie theater would be troublesome though.

How will this work though? Is it like a jury trial? Because I want to believe someone would say "fuck it, he's right. not guilty!"
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post #14 of 25
12/27/08 at 4:00pm
Using a guy that guy is a pussy. Real men use their bare hands.

My father has a friend who's friend beat two men to death at a showing of Apocalypse Now, back in the day. This guy was 6,7 and 300+ pounds and was a surfer. He also had two older brothers that were Made enforces for the Sicilian Mob, and both are afraid of him. These two rather big black started an argument with him in the theater. He killed the first one with just one blow to the face with his fist. He then chased the other guy down, and beat him to death. The SWAT teams called in my father friend to talk him out. They did not have handcuff big enough for this guy.
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post #15 of 25
12/27/08 at 4:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
Yeah, 'cause this is a reasonable response.
Come on, he only winged him. Guy should have told his family to shut up and enjoy the film.
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post #16 of 25
12/27/08 at 4:16pm
This is exactly why I should never buy a gun.

A friend of mine dragged me to "Yes Man" the other day, and there were some kids in the row in front of me who were talking and texting throughout. It was bad enough having to sit through that mercilessly dull movie. Having to put up with obnoxious movie patrons made it unbearable. I finally told them to shut the fuck up about 2/3rds of the way into the movie, then some jerkoff a few rows back started yelling stupid bullshit at me.

Had I brought a gun that night, it would've been like something out of "Punisher War Zone."
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post #17 of 25
12/27/08 at 4:24pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by eenin View Post
Using a guy that guy is a pussy. Real men use their bare hands.

My father has a friend who's friend beat two men to death at a showing of Apocalypse Now, back in the day. This guy was 6,7 and 300+ pounds and was a surfer. He also had two older brothers that were Made enforces for the Sicilian Mob, and both are afraid of him. These two rather big black started an argument with him in the theater. He killed the first one with just one blow to the face with his fist. He then chased the other guy down, and beat him to death. The SWAT teams called in my father friend to talk him out. They did not have handcuff big enough for this guy.
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post #18 of 25
12/27/08 at 6:11pm
Harlan Ellison has a great essay titled "The Three Most Important Things In Life", being work, sex, and violence. The Work portion recalls his one day working for Disney, where he was fired halfway through the day for doing a loud, impromptu Disney porn skit in the cafeteria, and Sex is about picking up his date at her immaculate house and discovering she was a sexual masochist.

The Violence part of the essay recounts an incident in a seedy Times Square theater, when he and a friend were in the balcony watching Jack Lemmon's Save the Tiger. An inconsiderate, possibly drunk, man (also in the balcony) starts calling out in the theater looking for his friend Leroy; after yelling for a minute or so a deep and menacing voice from the rear of the balcony rumbles "If you don't shut up I'm going to kill you." The rude guy ignores him and continues to call for Leroy. Harlan wrote that a massive shape came from the back of the balcony, picked up the Leroy-searcher and pitched him headfirst over the balcony, then silently left the theater.
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post #19 of 25
12/27/08 at 7:19pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad_Lohan View Post
A friend of mine dragged me to "Yes Man" the other day,"
Shoot your friend.
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post #20 of 25
12/27/08 at 11:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
Harlan Ellison has a great essay titled "The Three Most Important Things In Life", being work, sex, and violence. The Work portion recalls his one day working for Disney, where he was fired halfway through the day for doing a loud, impromptu Disney porn skit in the cafeteria, and Sex is about picking up his date at her immaculate house and discovering she was a sexual masochist.

The Violence part of the essay recounts an incident in a seedy Times Square theater, when he and a friend were in the balcony watching Jack Lemmon's Save the Tiger. An inconsiderate, possibly drunk, man (also in the balcony) starts calling out in the theater looking for his friend Leroy; after yelling for a minute or so a deep and menacing voice from the rear of the balcony rumbles "If you don't shut up I'm going to kill you." The rude guy ignores him and continues to call for Leroy. Harlan wrote that a massive shape came from the back of the balcony, picked up the Leroy-searcher and pitched him headfirst over the balcony, then silently left the theater.
Ah jeez man, you ruined that story.

Read it here, it's fantastic: http://harlanellison.com/iwrite/mostimp.htm
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post #21 of 25
12/28/08 at 12:23am
My apologies, I didn't realize the essay was available online.
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post #22 of 25
12/29/08 at 12:01am
Even if he did get it wrong, MUCH imaginary rep for the reference. Harlan Ellison rules.
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post #23 of 25
12/29/08 at 12:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Agreed. A taser to the nuts would have been just as effective and less messy.
Not if the guy shat himself. I mean really, I don't need to have that stench wafting through the theater.
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post #24 of 25
12/29/08 at 9:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
Ah jeez man, you ruined that story.

Read it here, it's fantastic: http://harlanellison.com/iwrite/mostimp.htm
Damn, that's great. The guy in the violence one might just as well be a manifestation of my id when being subjected to loudmouthed idiots in cinemas. Although I must have heard the story about the kinky girl in about 200 variations by 200 different people. Even Leno has a similar one.
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post #25 of 25
4/1/09 at 2:26am
This weekend, I could've used Ellison's Yeti to help out a bit with this cellphone jabber who got all tough with me for "being fuckin' rude" telling him to shut it off.
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