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Bad Christmas Gifts

post #1 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:04pm
Thread Starter 
Not all the christmas presents we got were good.
Let list the idiocy of some of our loved ones while thinking what we would like.

Exhibit a) My older cousin got all of the younger ones this type of sleeveless shirt... Not only have i never wore one of them, but the color was kinda gay and it was only 2 sizes too small.

That didn't prevent us from taking pictures with it! (The whiskey had to do with this part)


So what did you get that you hated?
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post #2 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:10pm
Tati es muy guapo!!!!
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post #3 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:11pm
Can we have just one thread that's an excuse for Tati to show off his pictures to a bunch of male nerds?
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post #4 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:13pm
I didn't get it, but I found out that my grandfather - in all sweet sincerity - wanted to buy me a SIGNET RING. I'm pretty sure they stopped producing these in about 1912. I'm surprised he didn't also suggest buying me a sundial, or perhaps a slave.
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post #5 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:14pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul McCartney View Post
I didn't get it, but I found out that my grandfather - in all sweet sincerity - wanted to buy me a SIGNET RING. I'm pretty sure they stopped producing these in about 1912. I'm surprised he didn't also suggest buying me a sundial, or perhaps a slave.
What's a signet ring?
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post #6 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
Litmus: we need a Christmas miracle. Use your gift.
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post #7 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:43pm
My fiancee's grandparents got me a really nice Buccaneers t-shirt. But it's a large. Now they have no way of knowing, but I haven't worn a large since college. So now my fiancee has a really nice Buccaneers t-shirt.
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post #8 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:46pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
What's a signet ring?
A ring made from a young swan's asshole.
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post #9 of 68
12/27/08 at 7:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
What's a signet ring?
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post #10 of 68
12/27/08 at 9:14pm
Thread Starter 
Looks nice, what's wrong with it?
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post #11 of 68
12/27/08 at 10:02pm
I got one of those car cassette deck adapters for mp3 players.

I don't have a cassette deck in my car.

Now, I have a garrotte wire with a plastic cassette attached to one end. Loud movie theatre patrons beware!
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post #12 of 68
12/27/08 at 10:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by devincf View Post
Can we have just one thread that's an excuse for Tati to show off his pictures to a bunch of male nerds?
If you actually said "one thread that's an excuse for Tati to show off those lovely tanned muscles" then I would have to say hell yes.
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post #13 of 68
12/27/08 at 11:51pm
I would kill to have the Leto Attreides signet ring prop from Lynch's Dune.

My wife received some sort of burgandy blanket with sleeves from an aunt. I can put it on and pretend that I am a cultist of Cthulhu.

Seriously, a sleeved blanket is just a backwards fucking bathrobe.

Tati, nice arms, man. You know that's the real reason that you started this thread.
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post #14 of 68
12/27/08 at 11:55pm
Thread Starter 
I just thought it was a funny idea to mention really bad gifts. The picture was just to add some color to it.
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post #15 of 68
12/27/08 at 11:55pm
I wanted a Blu-Ray. My parents just gave me another DVD player. Guess they thought it could combine with my other DVD player and form some sort of super player.
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post #16 of 68
12/28/08 at 12:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trejo View Post
Now, I have a garrotte wire with a plastic cassette attached to one end. Loud movie theatre patrons beware!
pfh, that's so weak, if you aren't shooting people in a theater then you might as well quit right now.
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post #17 of 68
12/28/08 at 1:08am
My parents nailed what I needed on one hand (Lost Season 4, warm winter clothing, scarves and some nice, new fashionable socks) but on the other hand showed sweet geriatric ignorance. A mini desk safe and a pocket sized clothes steamer (endorsed by BILLY BLAMKS, no less!) were there, as well. But what topp it off was the PediEgg - a small, egg-shaped callus shaver.
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post #18 of 68
12/28/08 at 1:48am
Mock all you want Cellophane, but that PedEgg works wonders. Even if it is just an egg-shaped microplane.
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post #19 of 68
12/28/08 at 3:07am
Maybe I should also preface this with the fact that the mere idea of shaving off calluses in such a way turns my stomach. I can't imagine doing it. Also, my feet's calluses have built up from years of dance. If I get rid of them now, I'll have to suffer it all on new, fresh skin and re-grow them anew.
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post #20 of 68
12/28/08 at 7:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
pfh, that's so weak, if you aren't shooting people in a theater then you might as well quit right now.
.22 and a baby bottle nipple is the way to go. Trust me

And as for the tank top, "Hang Low". Goddamn that's pretty gay.
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post #21 of 68
12/28/08 at 10:28am
Best present: watching my baby niece smile and smush her face in the stuffed white tiger my wife and I got her.

Worst present: my sister-in-law's chocolate chip cookies. Turns out she uses the same recipe as my wife, but she adds walnuts to the mix (I thought they were the cookies my wife made - she NEVER uses nuts due to my allergies, and my dumb ass didn't even ask). I'm allergic to walnuts. Oh, the fun and hijinks that resulted - my throat closing up, sinuses going berserk, the "technicolor yawn" (made it to the bathroom just in time, as Perry Como sang White Christmas), the hives, and lots and lots of Benadryl. I still have a swollen epiglotis!

Y'know, that Scrooge fella might've been on to something re: the holidays....
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post #22 of 68
12/28/08 at 10:54am
Similar reaction to the in-laws' many, many cats, Timothy. Some days there's no reaction, other days I break out in hives and my windpipe goes on strike. I was in bed by 8:30 on Christmas Day. The next day was a good deal more fun.
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post #23 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:28pm
My sympathies, Phil. I'm doing better, but my damn throat is sore as hell. I'm making a long overdue appointment to see an allergist next month.
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post #24 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by C.Swicegood View Post
My wife received some sort of burgandy blanket with sleeves from an aunt. I can put it on and pretend that I am a cultist of Cthulhu.
I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this. I'd have sprayed it all over my screen w/ laughter for sure.
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post #25 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doc Happenin View Post
pfh, that's so weak, if you aren't shooting people in a theater then you might as well quit right now.
No, no! The garrote is the way to go; it's much quiter, so as not to disturb your fellow movie goers, since removing a noisy disturbance is the whole point of in-theatre murder.

In MOST cases.
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post #26 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by C.Swicegood View Post
My wife received some sort of burgandy blanket with sleeves from an aunt. I can put it on and pretend that I am a cultist of Cthulhu.
She got a Snuggy? I didn't think anybody actually bought those. And yes, they do look like cult wardrobe.
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post #27 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:38pm
I knew Iggy would understand!

And HOLY SHIT re: Snuggies. I think I just found my halloween costume for next year.. if only they had hoods on them too
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post #28 of 68
12/28/08 at 4:38pm
Thread Starter 
WTF. The ad for those in that site gave me chills. People actually buy that stuff?
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post #29 of 68
12/28/08 at 6:45pm
Dammit, Tati...
I'm ALMOST tempted to buy you a 'Snuggie', just so I could see the pictures.
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post #30 of 68
12/28/08 at 7:14pm
Strange that there are TWO of these products out there. I've always heard them called "slankets":

http://www.theslanket.com/

More colors to better suit your ritual robe needs.
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post #31 of 68
12/28/08 at 9:29pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
She got a Snuggy? I didn't think anybody actually bought those. And yes, they do look like cult wardrobe.
That's it alright, and man is that commercial hilarious!
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post #32 of 68
12/28/08 at 9:37pm
The Snuggy commercial has been playing nonstop. Each time I see it I wonder what kind of idiot would buy that product. Now I know.
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post #33 of 68
12/28/08 at 10:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by summer smile View Post
Strange that there are TWO of these products out there. I've always heard them called "slankets":

http://www.theslanket.com/

More colors to better suit your ritual robe needs.
There's a third name that I can't think of right now. The ads are the same footage, just called something else.

I wish someone would buy me one of those Amish fireplaces. I could sit next to it and enjoy some Satanic snackin'.

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post #34 of 68
12/28/08 at 11:09pm
Got a friend of mine; 19 years old and just moved out of home and started living on her own for the first time so her mother bought a Pug dog for her (she's always wanted one for some reason) with the intention of giving it to her on Xmas day. Friend buys all the associated dog stuff that she needs, bed, collar all that stuff, picks out a name etc...Xmas day finally arrives and she gets a phone call from her mother:
"Sorry sweetie, we've decided to keep the dog"
Awesome.
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post #35 of 68
12/28/08 at 11:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by OCallaghan View Post
Got a friend of mine; 19 years old and just moved out of home and started living on her own for the first time so her mother bought a Pug dog for her (she's always wanted one for some reason) with the intention of giving it to her on Xmas day. Friend buys all the associated dog stuff that she needs, bed, collar all that stuff, picks out a name etc...Xmas day finally arrives and she gets a phone call from her mother:
"Sorry sweetie, we've decided to keep the dog"
Awesome.
Holy Shit!
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post #36 of 68
12/28/08 at 11:55pm
Pets as gifts never seem to work out, do they?
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post #37 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:00am
I want a snuggie just so I can greet the UPS guy in it.
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post #38 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:17am
This is all I can think of when I see these things:

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post #39 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:28am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard Dickson View Post
She got a Snuggy? I didn't think anybody actually bought those. And yes, they do look like cult wardrobe.
I just saw that ad. I never needed a drink more badly in my life than I do right now!
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post #40 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:29am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham View Post
Dammit, Tati...
I'm ALMOST tempted to buy you a 'Snuggie', just so I could see the pictures.
I'd gladly post them.
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post #41 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:32am
"Infomercial Nets Record Sales With Ironic Gift Idea"
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post #42 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:33am
I think they look very comfortable.
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post #43 of 68
12/29/08 at 12:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
"Infomercial Nets Record Sales With Ironic Gift Idea"
So the streets of Silver Lake is going to run wild with these things? Thanks hipsters.

And god help us if they get Billy Mays to shill for the damn thing.
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post #44 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:40pm
The Church of Snuggie.

I want the bonus Mind Reader!
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post #45 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
So the streets of Silver Lake is going to run wild with these things? Thanks hipsters.

And god help us if they get Billy Mays to shill for the damn thing.
Billy Mays has nearly convinced me that I need that little Sliders Pan. Damn you Billy Mays!
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post #46 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:48pm
Hey, it's not my problem you're easily seduced by screaming bearded men.
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post #47 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:52pm
The beard is hypnotizing.
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post #48 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:53pm
It would explain how we all ended up here.
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post #49 of 68
12/29/08 at 9:57pm
Well, I was lonely and a little drunk.
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post #50 of 68
12/30/08 at 12:03pm
I got a staph infection on my stomach for Christmas. Then on the 28th which was my birthday, I got to spend all day in a hospital because of the infection. Now I get to clean the wound solo every day, Predator style. At least it's an infection that I'm tending to,and not one of Jesse Ventura's minigun bullets.
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