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Horrible realizations about yourself

post #1 of 282
12/30/08 at 7:01am
Thread Starter 
So I was listening to the Wrestler, and since I know the words I caught myself singing along to it, and with Bruces help I figured I sounded pretty good. So I opened up Sound Recorder and gave myself a go.

I can't sing. Not just the normal not great but not that bad level. My range is pretty flat and I can't carry a tune. I always figured I was actually pretty good as far as your average singer goes.

What have you recently found out about yourself that made you cringe?
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post #2 of 282
12/31/08 at 8:52am
I somehow lost the ability to throw a frisbee competently.

It sucks to discover this now that I have kids that are at the right age to get excited about playing frisbee.
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post #3 of 282
12/31/08 at 11:46am
I am rendered autistic on message boards, since it's apparently impossible to tell when I'm being tongue-in-cheek.
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post #4 of 282
12/31/08 at 2:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
So I was listening to the Wrestler, and since I know the words I caught myself singing along to it, and with Bruces help I figured I sounded pretty good. So I opened up Sound Recorder and gave myself a go.
Sound recorder would make anyone sound pretty bad.

Not a recent realization or anything, but I've always assumed that I would look absolutely ridiculous dancing. So... I cannot dance, but... I can get up.

EDIT: Oh, I do have one. I've never considered myself a good swimmer or anything, but recently I've really realized that I really suck. I'm slow, really splashy, and get exhausted really easily.
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post #5 of 282
12/31/08 at 2:29pm
And your impression of a giraffe is horrible. Can't forget that one.
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post #6 of 282
12/31/08 at 2:31pm
I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE, YOU MONSTER!!!

(hurls orange juice in Swice's general direction)
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post #7 of 282
12/31/08 at 3:40pm
Apparently, I'm devastatingly charming. I found this realization completely shocking.
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post #8 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:22pm
::leans in coquettishly so Mattioli can light her cigarette::

I am also not a very good singer, but I've known this for some time.
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post #9 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:29pm
I would imagine that many a game of Rock Band provided this realization for a great mass of us.
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post #10 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:34pm
For some reason, I close my left eye when I'm shaving. I never even noticed it until my girlfriend pointed it out to me. I guess I've been doing it all my life.

Not horrible, I guess, just weird.
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post #11 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:35pm
I refuse to open my eyes under water and I can't blink with my left eye.
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post #12 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:36pm
Your left eye would be a raisin if you didn't blink.
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post #13 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:37pm
Whoops, I meant that I can't wink with it. I can close it only at the same time as the other eye.
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post #14 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:41pm
I can only raise my right eyebrow in a sarcastic manner and not my left. Odd, since I'm a lefty.

I also stammer when I get irritated at someone. Not in the same league as "I, Claudius", but it still annoys me.
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post #15 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
I can only raise my right eyebrow in a sarcastic manner and not my left. Odd, since I'm a lefty.

I also stammer when I get irritated at someone. Not in the same league as "I, Claudius", but it still annoys me.
I figure stammering when irritated is something that most people would do. I do it since it makes me talk faster than I think. Unfortunately, it's also the time when you'd like to be the most articulate.

I can raise my left eyebrow, but not my right. At least the right side can wink!
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post #16 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:53pm
Due to the fact I have somewhat of a fat can. I am unable to wear skinny jeans the way hipsters do at the waist size I have.

This is perhaps a good thing.
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post #17 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post

This is perhaps a good thing.
Not for those who admire a nice kudunkadunk.

Psst... I'm in the same boat, by the way. (edit: meaning that I also have a fat can)
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post #18 of 282
12/31/08 at 4:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
Not for those who admire a nice kudunkadunk.
And oddly enough I get remarked on that....a lot.

Also, I find flat soled shoes (Chucks, Addidas, etc.) to be very uncomfortable if they aren't broken in and wearing insoles.
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post #19 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:00pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcnooj82 View Post
Not for those who admire a nice kudunkadunk.
You can tell what area of the country I live in by the fact that I almost said "Don't you mean a badonkadonk?". Fuck you Trace Adkins and fuck your stupid song.

To all of you who thought you were horrible singers here's an anecdote: I've been in choir in school since middle school and I have never been able to read music. I've been faking it the whole way. So even some of them might not be as good as you'd think.
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post #20 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:31pm
Haha, Jakespeares can'ts reads notes.

Since I never wear anything but pants or tights, it wasn't until recently that I realized my legs are bright white in sunlight. I mean really, really white.
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post #21 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:38pm
The thing about having a can is that I'll never have to suffer from the problem that Hank Hill experienced in which he then had to wear an elaborate apparatus.
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post #22 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by SmellsLikeNostalgia View Post
Haha, Jakespeares can'ts reads notes.

Since I never wear anything but pants or tights,
So you are always topless?
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post #23 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:39pm
Tights? Do you work at a ren fair?
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post #24 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Tights? Do you work at a ren fair?
Well, someone's got to sell those turkey legs.
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post #25 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:49pm
SLN is a girl, Ed.

Though the Ren Fair thing is still a possibility, to be sure.
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post #26 of 282
12/31/08 at 5:58pm
I have ZERO codes when it comes to women. I don't respect friends, ex of friends or nothing like that.
It troubles me.
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post #27 of 282
12/31/08 at 6:00pm
I might possibly be an asshole.
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post #28 of 282
12/31/08 at 6:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
I have ZERO codes when it comes to women. I don't respect friends, ex of friends or nothing like that.
It troubles me.
(Insert tired remark about South American men here)
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post #29 of 282
12/31/08 at 6:27pm
My pants aren't getting smaller....
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post #30 of 282
12/31/08 at 6:31pm
I realize that I need to have more patience when it comes to dating and going out and to expect that there are going to be nights that the crowd is going to suck or nothing is going to happen. I've been a lot better at this but I still need not to get disappointed when it does happen.
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post #31 of 282
12/31/08 at 7:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
I have ZERO codes when it comes to women. I don't respect friends, ex of friends or nothing like that.
It troubles me.
In due respect to the title of the thread, I'm pretty much the same way. I'm a shameless flirt, I've had too many affairs to keep count of, I've actually broken up a marriage, and I find any woman who finds me attractive virtually irresistible.

I'm pretty much a big douchebag.
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post #32 of 282
12/31/08 at 7:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raspberry Leper View Post
So you are always topless?
Nah, that's against Renaissance Pleasure Faire rules. When I work at Burning Man, however...
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post #33 of 282
12/31/08 at 8:17pm
I used to think my being antisocial was a stance created first as a defence against being the outsider, then was an ironic statement on my part.

Now I realize I really don't like most people I meet and I really am anti-social
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post #34 of 282
12/31/08 at 8:35pm
I see nothing negitive about cannibalism. If I was alive, and you were already dead, I would eat you.
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post #35 of 282
12/31/08 at 10:35pm
I don't like people yet am a dyed-in-the-wool socialist. I figure just cause I think everyone in the world is fucking useless doesn't mean they deserve to live in poverty or not have health care.
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post #36 of 282
12/31/08 at 10:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barkatthemoon View Post
I see nothing negitive about cannibalism. If I was alive, and you were already dead, I would eat you.
I'm known as the champion of cannibalism within my social circle, because I drunkenly said one time that people would probably taste really good if you prepared it right. Whatever, I stand by it.
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post #37 of 282
12/31/08 at 11:32pm
There's no commandment against ingesting thy neighbor. You just can't lie to 'em.
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post #38 of 282
1/1/09 at 12:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tati View Post
I have ZERO codes when it comes to women. I don't respect friends, ex of friends or nothing like that.
It troubles me.
If you and Brett Ratner teamed up, no woman would stand a chance, North American Ratner and Latin American Ratner, what a combo.
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post #39 of 282
1/1/09 at 12:38am
I feel a strange kinship to Christian Weston Chandler. Horrifying.
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post #40 of 282
1/1/09 at 3:43am
I still live with students, even though I've been out of school for years, but I can't really afford their extravagant lifestyle.

Also, I think I only started listening to Heavy Metal because I have, let's just call it a condition, which prevents me from getting my hair cut. I wanted to fit in somewhere and I'm too intolerant to hang out with hippies all the time.

Also I have much too long a list of other things I could post here... I guess the list is now recursive. That's never good.
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post #41 of 282
1/1/09 at 3:51am
I also have no codes when it comes to women. Fortunately, I don't really get any either way so y'all's marriages are safe!
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post #42 of 282
1/1/09 at 4:50am
Horrible realization? Well, basically that I am someone that people view as a "friend" but nothing more than that. That all the "opening up" has been a big fake pile of shit. People who have claimed to be my friend have actually been two-faced cocksuckers and really just placating me for whatever reason. Maybe its me, I don't know. But yeah, that's my realization.
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post #43 of 282
1/1/09 at 4:56am
I'd quit my job if it weren't for the benefits package.
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post #44 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu View Post
I'd quit my job if it weren't for the benefits package.
I envy you. I've been at my company for 5 years (3 in the current role) and I don't have benefits. Fuck, the person underneath me and with less experience has benefits and I'm paying out of pocket for insurance. Ain't that about a bitch.
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post #45 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
What have you recently found out about yourself that made you cringe?
Nothing recently; DaveB and MissZooey can vouch that all of my cringe-worthy aspect have been obvious for at least a decade (and those not obvious I have kept well-hidden)
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post #46 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cylon Baby View Post
I used to think my being antisocial was a stance created first as a defence against being the outsider, then was an ironic statement on my part.

Now I realize I really don't like most people I meet and I really am anti-social
Awesome. You can only rule the world from this point forward.
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post #47 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
Horrible realization? Well, basically that I am someone that people view as a "friend" but nothing more than that. That all the "opening up" has been a big fake pile of shit. People who have claimed to be my friend have actually been two-faced cocksuckers and really just placating me for whatever reason. Maybe its me, I don't know. But yeah, that's my realization.
FYI, I've never liked/trusted Kane.
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post #48 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
I envy you. I've been at my company for 5 years (3 in the current role) and I don't have benefits. Fuck, the person underneath me and with less experience has benefits and I'm paying out of pocket for insurance. Ain't that about a bitch.
I'm not trying to brag or anything. It's just that one of the reasons I started in this field over other more sensible options was out of a desire to be happy, rather than be sensible. And now I'm at a point where I'm not happy in my job, but it's sensible to stay. Which is kind of something I thought I'd never do.
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post #49 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by RathBandu View Post
I'm not trying to brag or anything. It's just that one of the reasons I started in this field over other more sensible options was out of a desire to be happy, rather than be sensible. And now I'm at a point where I'm not happy in my job, but it's sensible to stay. Which is kind of something I thought I'd never do.
I know what you mean and I didn't think you were trying to brag. I'm only staying at my job because 1) I love it; and 2) my producer loves me (and he carries a ton of weight at the company). If it weren't for that, I would have moved to Chicago a year ago.
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post #50 of 282
1/1/09 at 5:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chavez View Post
FYI, I've never liked/trusted Kane.
Screw you! I stood up to the Miller Gang while the rest of you cowered in your homes! I could have rode off to my new life with Grace Kelly, but I came back and defended Hadleyville. Look what it got me...
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