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Porn industry seeks federal bailout

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com...deral-bailout/

Quote:
WASHINGTON (CNN) — Another major American industry is asking for assistance as the global financial crisis continues: Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry.

“The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three,” said Owen Moogan, spokesman for Larry Flynt. “The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion. Is it the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine.”

Francis said in a statement that “the US government should actively support the adult industry's survival and growth, just as it feels the need to support any other industry cherished by the American people."

“We should be delivering [the request] by the end of today to our congressmen and [Secretary of the Treasury Henry] Paulson asking for this $5 billion dollar bailout,” he told CNN Wednesday.

Flynt and Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger — DVD sales have slipped over the past year, but Web traffic has continued to grow.

But the industry leaders said the issue is a nation in need. "People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

"With all this economic misery and people losing all that money, sex is the farthest thing from their mind. It's time for congress to rejuvenate the sexual appetite of America. The only way they can do this is by supporting the adult industry and doing it quickly."

So far, there has been no congressional reaction to the request.
I might be inclined to believe they're (Francis and Flynt) taking this half-seriously if it weren't for the ridiculous sum they're asking for.

But, seriously, porn IS a really frickin' huge industry, one of the biggest in the country. Midget golden showers aside, they're entitled to their own share, aren't they?
post #2 of 17
Bad publicity stunt.
post #3 of 17
I thought everyone was getting their porn off the internet for free for years now.
post #4 of 17
Where's the punchline?
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jakespeare View Post
Where's the punchline?
Talk about a stimulus bill!

That's all I got...
post #6 of 17
Okay, now it's personal...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Devildoubt View Post
Talk about a stimulus bill!

That's all I got...
For a limp economy!!!






...I'll get me coat.
post #7 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Bad publicity stunt.
You'd be weeping and gnashing your teeth for them if Joe the Bad Publicity Stunt was on their side.
post #8 of 17
All kidding aside, is this really the right move to perk up our flaccid economy? Wouldn't it be better to harden our resolve and stay with massive infrastructure investments? Kenseyian economics aside, it makes more sense to erect bridges and build roads than to spend money on porn. I know public spending gives me a massive hard-on.
post #9 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Bad publicity stunt.
More like a bad PUBElicity stunt... eh? Am I right?
post #10 of 17
time for a good banking sector bailout related pun and/or double entendre! but what rhymes with "banking"?

THINK DAMMIT
post #11 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple_72 View Post
time for a good banking sector bailout related pun and/or double entendre! but what rhymes with "banking"?

THINK DAMMIT
Well, wanking comes to mind...

But really, with that fiasco, I think unlubed ass-fucking would just about do it.
post #12 of 17
I think we should give them the money, but we should give it to them in one giant wad and deposit it on their chest.
post #13 of 17
Or in their eye.

Yes, I'm piggybacking your awesome post.
post #14 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Disciple_72 View Post
time for a good banking sector bailout related pun and/or double entendre! but what rhymes with "banking"?

THINK DAMMIT
I'm sure the Spank Bank will help bail them out.
post #15 of 17
Over the years I'm certain the porn indusrty has served the American people much better than your shitty cars. Go ahead with the bail-out, I say.
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
Over the years I'm certain the porn indusrty has served the American people much better than your shitty cars. Go ahead with the bail-out, I say.
I still get more mileage out of my old Veronica Hart AMANDA BY NIGHT tape than I did out of my first Ford Taurus.
post #17 of 17
Next up, the Bang Bros. announce that they were a ponzi scheme all along and that the bus wasn't even theirs.
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