This is Jessica Alba's mom - Page 2

She so fat, her measurements are 36-24-36 and that's just her arm.

She so old, she's got a Jesus Starter jacket.

The bitch so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.

She so stupid, she went to McDonald's and ordered a Fleetwood Mac.

She's so fat, I'm sure she's a very nice person.

Great, Jake. Now I feel bad.

Yo mama so poor, she goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers

YEAH! I prefer this to knockin' on Jessica Alba's old fat mama.

She's so fat when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

She's so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Who gives a shit about her mother? I'd still ass-bang Alba.

ETA: I realise that they are both Alba's. Ah, what the hell, the bone's been pretty dry, lately.

Dammit, you leave Diva out of this.

From a woman's perspective, I guess this is how we talk about all of you ugly pigs posting in this forum. Nothing dries up a hot girl's pussy faster than posts like these.

Salt works pretty well!

ZING!

Haha, yeah, she sure is a fat mom, huh! Not what I was expecting, nope! But boy, daughter is still hot! Right, folks?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about his photo if I was fucking Alba...  It would be a very confusing experience.

I was wondering what resurrected a three year-old thread I'd never seen before. As for the latter part of your claim, I'd counter that nothing dies up a hot girl's pussy faster than the statement: "I drive a Kia."

 

 

 

Since it's been 3 years since this thread was active - have they moistened up again? Enquiring minds want to know...do you have a hot friend you can call?

 

"From a woman's perspective, I guess this is how we talk about all of you ugly pigs posting in this forum."

 

Yeah, coz chicks never pull the point-and-smirk shit on other females - that never happens.

 

Anyway, yeah - that looks like her mom.

That's just a costume propped up next to Alba. One that she uses to escape the paparazzi...

 

 

 

Well, that would explain why we rarely see her husband.

Moltisanti made that joke three years ago, Darkmite8. You get a solid gold late pass.

 

 

This thread has gone too far

Yeah, if her mom were to lose weight, you could see she has a pretty long neck, like Jessica. Same chin, etc. She looks like her mom, just 75 pounds lighter.  This thread necromancy, while delightful, has added little. Sometimes our parents get fat. Some of us are fat and our parents are skinny. All shapes and sizes.

 

It takes a brave man to admit his situation. Trade that shit in and you won't have to worry about being a human veneral drought.
 

 

Yes, because I'm sure that you're a certified fucking expert on moist vaginas. Besides, honestly, I'd have more fun with Alba's mom than I would her.

You're weird Jake.  I like you.

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Aim higher, Jake.  Both.