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Mmmm... abortion donuts

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/ripti..._arms_over.php

Quote:
Krispy Kreme, being the genial purveyor of glazed goodness that it is, decided to get in on the Obama inauguration craze and is offering one free doughnut to every costumer on January 20, Inauguration day, and released this seemingly innocuous press release:

"Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet 'free' can be."

Well, The American Life League noticed the liberal use of the word choice and decided to blast the chain bakery for producing abortion doughnuts.

"The unfortunate reality of a post-Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand," the group's president, Judie Brown said in a statement.

File this under "Overreactionary Wing Nuts" and another attempt of conservatives to redefine words for their political means (You can try to rewrite the Constitution, but not the dictionary). Of course, the "overreactionary libtard" counter to this is that conservatives want to demonize all choice from America until we're living under a fundamentalist dictatorship. A fundamentalist dictatorship without doughnuts.

The full, completely unbelievable press release follows after the jump.


KRISPY KREME CELEBRATES OBAMA WITH PRO-ABORTION DOUGHNUTS Washington, DC (15 January 2009) -

The following is a statement from American Life League president Judie Brown:

"The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme, you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand - including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20.

"The doughnut giant released the following statement yesterday:

'Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.'

"Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that 'choice' is synonymous with abortion access, and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

"President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

"Celebrating his inauguration with 'Freedom of Choice' doughnuts - only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion - is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

"A misconstrued concept of 'choice' has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this 'freedom.'

"As of Thursday morning, communications director Brian Little could not be reached for comment. We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom - to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness - and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame.

"American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Julie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death."
post #2 of 29
Why is it I never hear about these nutjob factions until they come out and say something extraordinarily stupid?
post #3 of 29
Further down:

Quote:
We invite the citizens of our great democracy to violently crunch down on our tender "soft spots," Krispy Kreme's outrageous new twist on doughnut holes!
post #4 of 29
Fucking stupid people. Jesus Christ. Sometimes I just lose it over such goddamn idiocy.

I am also sick of hearing the word 'radical' uttered about somebody even changing things in the slightest way. Anyone easily scared by that tripe lacks any critical thinking faculties whatsoever. But I'm sure they have very well-organized closets.
post #5 of 29
I'm gonna pull my jelly donut 3/4 of the way out of the box, puncture it with a straw and suck out all the jelly.
post #6 of 29
I'm going to have an abortion now just out of spite.
post #7 of 29
Does this render Homer Simpson a worse mass murderer than Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot combined now?

Can somebody please think about the children?
post #8 of 29
post #9 of 29
Thread Starter 
I knew this thread would be worth it.
post #10 of 29
Dear God, it's beautiful. And with the signature below it, it's simply blinding.
post #11 of 29
Well, shit Abbott, that one ups the defeated Picard pic I was just about to post. Do these...aww, you know what? Fuck it, just fuck it.
post #12 of 29
Yeah, I was trying to think of a way to say that there's not much to say, and then this picture... well, it's a savior to the thread.
post #13 of 29
post #14 of 29
post #15 of 29
Do these people have staff explicitly for the purpose of finding shit to be outraged with? If so, do they pay well, 'cause I'd like to apply. I can be offended with just about anything if I put my mind to it.
post #16 of 29
This thread has become glorious.
post #17 of 29
This offer would be have been sacrelicious if only the Krispy Kreems around here didn't close.

"I know I must'ent eat thee."
post #18 of 29
Fuck people are dumb. This is worse than the sea kitten thing.
post #19 of 29
I wish these people would get some real jobs.
post #20 of 29
In the interest of synergy, the next fetus I abort will have chocolate sprinkles on it.
post #21 of 29
Quote:
"American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Julie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death."
"Downtown" or the white one?
post #22 of 29
post #23 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
I'm gonna pull my jelly donut 3/4 of the way out of the box, puncture it with a straw and suck out all the jelly.
I haven't laughed as hard as I laughed at this in DAYS. Perhaps weeks. Thank you, my good man! Enjoy your imaginary rep!
post #24 of 29
Quote:
Life begins at confection y'all!
I posted this thread to a board full of people who revel in shadenfreude and this was one of the glorious responses. I wish I could claim that as my own.
post #25 of 29
If Krispy Kreme Doughnuts had any balls, they'd produce a ring-donut, with the hole full of raspberry jam and a thin layer of pastry over the holes on both sides...

Customer..."What the Fuck is This?"
Employee..."We like to call it the Fontanelle, sir."
post #26 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by OCallaghan View Post
Fuck people are dumb. This is worse than the sea kitten thing.
Almost. This really makes me wish there were a Krispy Kreme in BC.

A) Those donuts are freakin' delicious
B) I now want to gorge myself on pro-choice dead fetus pastry
post #27 of 29
The NAACP is 66% mad at Krispy Kreme.
post #28 of 29
Wait, so let me get this straight--I can eat donuts AND support abortion? Score!
post #29 of 29
This thread went from zero to hero in 8 posts. For some reason, pro-life people are really freaked out about this "Freedom of Choice Act". Funny, those are usually the people who whine that they want "less big government".
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