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Commando

post #1 of 138
1/20/09 at 9:42am
Thread Starter 
Never has a film been so blatant about it's homosexual subtext, Matrix and Bennett are one step away from hatefucking each other. The fight scene between Matrix and Bill Duke has none of that kung fu shit, just two big beefy guys pounding away at each other.

I'd also love to wake up at the break of Rae Dawn Chong.
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post #2 of 138
1/20/09 at 9:56am
Silent and smooth - just like always.

It's very gay. It's also hilariously good.
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post #3 of 138
1/20/09 at 10:20am
Commando...is definitely my favorite Arnold Schwarzzenegger film. The mall chase was awe-inspiring as he slid on that wire or whatever it was like he was...Errol Flynn in the Adventures of Robin Hood. My fave Arnold films are as follows...
1) Commando
2) True Lies
3) Conan The Barbarian
4) The Terminator
5) Terminator 2: Judgement Day
6) The Running Man
7) Total Recall
8) Predator
9) Eraser
10) Raw Deal
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post #4 of 138
1/20/09 at 10:25am
Predator's surprisingly low on that list, Fleed. Lower than Running Man.

I might regret asking, but care to explain?
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post #5 of 138
1/20/09 at 10:49am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post
The fight scene between Matrix and Bill Duke has none of that kung fu shit, just two big beefy guys pounding away at each other.
It also has this great exchange, one of the best from ANY of Arnold's films...

Cooke- "Fuck you, asshole!"

Matrix- "Fuck you, asshole!"
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post #6 of 138
1/20/09 at 10:59am
Bees?! As good as...Predator is, and it is an excellent film...it also has a fairly sad ending. All of Arnold's team is wiped out, and their guns are lost, where The Running Man is a Loose remake of one of my favorite stories...The Most Dangerous Game...plus Maria Concheta Alonso in yellow spandex, reveals her to be quite the well rounded actress. Richard Dawson is also excellent as the...EEEEEEvil villain.
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post #7 of 138
1/20/09 at 11:17am
Fleed, you forgot Jingle... All The Way.
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post #8 of 138
1/20/09 at 11:20am
Its always amused how out of shape and pudgy Bennet is compared to Matrix and yet he beats the shit out of him at the end.

Some good work from Hedaya too
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post #9 of 138
1/20/09 at 11:28am
Matrix lets Bennet beat him. It's the foreplay before Arnie sticks his pipe in him.
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post #10 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:01pm
Commando is the film that features two places I live near: The car dealership where Bill Duke kills a guy and the Sherman Oaks galleria.

Also Bennett seemed to get progressively fatter and fatter as the film goes on.
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post #11 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:06pm
The BIG star of 'Commando': The calypso soundtrack.

You can't take a film seriously if it pits Arnold Schwarzenegger against a steroided Freddie Mercury. You're not MEANT to, though. This film is blissfully self-aware of how ridiculous it is. If you're in on the joke, you'll enjoy the movie.
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post #12 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:07pm
And the mansion they use has been used before both in Cutter's Way and Beverly Hills Cop.
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post #13 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:08pm
Which does beg the question - who might misconstrue Commando's ever so subtle speedo sequence as "character development"?
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post #14 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
Which does beg the question - who might misconstrue Commando's ever so subtle speedo sequence as "character development"?
I was having a conversation about this very scene with my brother when COMMANDO was on AMC last week. I imagine the exchange went like this:

Arnold: I think I should be in a Speedo when I row to shore.

Mark Lester: I don't know if that makes sense, man, why wouldn't you have all your gear on to begin with? What if there's bad guys on the shore?

Arnold: This movie fails to adaquately showcase my outstanding physique.

Mark Lester: What do you mean? We have an entire ridiculous action sequence coming up in which you remove your combat vest for NO REASON, that's all about showing your physique.

Arnold: My upper body physique, yes. But my extraordinarily muscled quadriceps and calves appear nowhere. It's like keeping the Mona Lisa in a closet.

Mark Lester: Okay, whatever. Just remember you promised to help me get SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO off the ground.
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post #15 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:32pm
When I first saw Hot Shots part Deux, I remember thinking "Oh, come on, 80's action films were never that ridiculous", then sometime later I watched Commando again for the first time in years. I realized two things after this, the first being that any kind of spoof of Commando should be considered redundant, and the second, that it's a fucking masterpiece.

Love the Bill Duke fight, especially the weird shot or two when Duke's stunt double is made very obvious. You have to love the very random nudity in that scene as well, courtesy of Ms. Ava Cadell; it's as if Mark L. Lester felt the scene was lacking something and then arbitrarily decided that that thing was tits.

Absolutely hate Rae Dawn Chong in this though, her incessant screeching is far more annoying than it is amusing, and it's the one mark against Commando that I can think of. Otherwise, this film is crack.
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post #16 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:35pm
The random tits in the hotel fight help to reassure the audience that this film is, in fact, OK to like in a non-gay way.
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post #17 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by duke fleed View Post
4) The Terminator
5) Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Fleed...having correct taste?
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post #18 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:53pm
"You can beat me... You want to put a knife in me. Look me in the eyes. See what's going on in there while you turn it. That's what you want to do to me, right? Come on, let the girl go. You and me. Don't deprive yourself of some pleasure. Come on Bennett; let's party."
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post #19 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
The random tits in the hotel fight help to reassure the audience that this film is, in fact, OK to like in a non-gay way.
The only flaw in that is, if I'm remembering correctly, she is in fact behind the guy she's in bed with. So there may be something peculiar going on there.
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post #20 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:54pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clarence Boddicker View Post
Fleed...having correct taste?
Well, Terminator came first, and fleed's tastes are fairly directly coordinated to the age at which he was exposed to the material.
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post #21 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:55pm
Even with one arm injured, that final fight between Arnold and Freddie should have been about 5 seconds long.
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post #22 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexus-7 View Post
The only flaw in that is, if I'm remembering correctly, she is in fact behind the guy she's in bed with. So there may be something peculiar going on there.
Damn you, Nexus!!!! I think you're right on that.
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post #23 of 138
1/20/09 at 12:57pm
As correctly pointed out with this

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/revie.../commando.html

Possibly the greatest write-up on Commando ever.
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post #24 of 138
1/20/09 at 2:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
As correctly pointed out with this

http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/revie.../commando.html

Possibly the greatest write-up on Commando ever.
Thank you. Thank you so much for posting that.
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post #25 of 138
1/20/09 at 5:31pm
"Why don't they just call him Girl George?"

Brilliant and still topical today!
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post #26 of 138
1/20/09 at 5:34pm
Commando was and still is on the cutting edge.
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post #27 of 138
1/20/09 at 5:37pm
Things that I've learned from 'Commando':

1. the front passenger seats of small cars can be ripped out very easily.
2. a long, deflated plastic balloon will support the swinging body of a 400lb Austrian bodybuilder without any problem.
3. a man can survive a freefall from the landing gear of a jet into a shallow swamp.

I used to dislike this movie until I got 'the joke'. I love it now.
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post #28 of 138
1/20/09 at 5:55pm
I believe Commando was the Crank of its day.
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post #29 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:01pm
Is Crank particularly gay?
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post #30 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
I believe Commando was the Crank of its day.
Nah, Commando is superior to Crank, and that's coming from a guy who loves Crank.

There are things in this universe that are tough to beat for their own particular greatness. Such as a black hole's gravity field, and John Matrix's ability to inflict massive death, trauma and one-liners at whim. And Matrix feeds a fucking a deer 3 minutes in the movie.
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post #31 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:05pm
'Commando' is the first ridiculously self-aware action movie that I can think of. It pretty much lampoons the ultra-seriousness of 'Rambo: First Blood, Pt. 2'.
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post #32 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:20pm
Nothing beats the "garden shed" sequence.

Pitchfork to chest.
Buzzsaw to head.
Axe to the balls.
Machete arm-trim.

All in a row. Transcendent.
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post #33 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Pitchfork to chest.
Buzzsaw to head.
Axe to the balls.
Machete arm-trim.
That deserves a .gif. I might work on that one of these days.
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post #34 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:25pm
I remember playing "war" as a kid, and when we started we stated who we were:

"I'm Rambo!"
"I'm Duke!"
"I'm Arnold in Commando!"
*silence*

Good times...
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post #35 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:39pm
That's one scene I like. The poor guy thinking he can outsmart Matrix.

Right?

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post #36 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:42pm
That guy getting blown away was a bit of a surprise. Characters like that usually linger around the periphery of the plot for most of the movie.

'Hi, I'm here to be a plot point and negotiate with you'.
BLAM
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post #37 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bees?! View Post
Is Crank particularly gay?
I think the scene in which Chelios bangs his girlfriend on a mailbox in Chinatown indicates that Crank is not in fact gay.
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post #38 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:47pm
Here's cinematic perfection for you Judas:

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post #39 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Here's cinematic perfection for you Judas:
That is art.
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post #40 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:49pm
Dammit...I suddenly just became gay for Martin.
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post #41 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:49pm
Ya damn right.
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post #42 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:53pm
Dan Hydea plays the finest white guy/mexican acting since Rod Steiger in Duck, You Sucker.
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post #43 of 138
1/20/09 at 6:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by duke fleed View Post
Bees?! As good as...Predator is, and it is an excellent film...it also has a fairly sad ending. All of Arnold's team is wiped out, and their guns are lost, where The Running Man is a Loose remake of one of my favorite stories...The Most Dangerous Game...plus Maria Concheta Alonso in yellow spandex, reveals her to be quite the well rounded actress. Richard Dawson is also excellent as the...EEEEEEvil villain.
it to say we now know who duke fleed is...
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post #44 of 138
1/21/09 at 2:55am
43 posts and still no visit from Greg and his dread TasteAPO?

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post #45 of 138
1/21/09 at 5:03am
Thread Starter 
"I really love listening to your little piss-head soldiers trying to talk tough. They make me laugh. If Matrix was here, he'd laugh too"

Wells delivery of that line makes me crack up.

"John, I'm not going to shoot you between the eyes. I'm going to shoot you between the balls"

More veiled homosexual subtext.
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post #46 of 138
1/21/09 at 5:46am
This movie is amazing though. Throughout all of ridiculousness, everyone plays it so, um, straight.
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post #47 of 138
1/21/09 at 6:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Bodhisattva View Post
I was having a conversation about this very scene with my brother when COMMANDO was on AMC last week. I imagine the exchange went like this:

Arnold: I think I should be in a Speedo when I row to shore.

Mark Lester: I don't know if that makes sense, man, why wouldn't you have all your gear on to begin with? What if there's bad guys on the shore?

Arnold: This movie fails to adaquately showcase my outstanding physique.

Mark Lester: What do you mean? We have an entire ridiculous action sequence coming up in which you remove your combat vest for NO REASON, that's all about showing your physique.

Arnold: My upper body physique, yes. But my extraordinarily muscled quadriceps and calves appear nowhere. It's like keeping the Mona Lisa in a closet.
Mark Lester: Okay, whatever. Just remember you promised to help me get SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO off the ground.
Read the bold part out loud in your best Arnold impersonation and try not to laugh. You will fail.
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post #48 of 138
1/21/09 at 6:57am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragon Ma View Post

More veiled homosexual subtext.
Veiled?
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post #49 of 138
1/21/09 at 6:59am
A masterpiece. I don't know how much the movie is in on the joke, but I kinda hope it's not. I'm sure Arnold wasn't.
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post #50 of 138
1/21/09 at 7:00am
Thread Starter 
Sorry, I meant to say obvious
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