Commando - Page 3

I love every glorious, brilliantly stupid second of this movie: the treasure trove of one-liners (my personal favorite: "Please don't disturb my friend. He is dead tired"), Vernon Wells looking like he's auditioning for "Killer Queen: The Freddie Mercury Story", the quintessential lock-and-load montage, David Patrick Kelly, Bill Duke, a frighteningly young Alyssa Milano, the hilarious gay subtext-that's-practically-text, and a metric ton of stupid mooks. God help me, I love it all.

The crazy steel-drum soundtrack is also worth mentioning.

Indeed, as it perfectly captures the vibe of the movie. It's Horner-tastic! Also, Jeph Loeb apparently helped with the story on the film; given some of his recent comics work, I can't say I'm surprised.

In a post-9/11 world Arnie would have been tackled by a mob of angry passengers when he refuses to 'take his seat' during takeoff.

And would have thrown them all off at once like he did the pussy security guards in the mall.

Speaking of, one of the best lines in the movie (who am I kidding, they're all the best lines) is when the security guard, who's talking to the girls, gets the call that something's going down, and he says to them "You wanna see me kick some ass?". Just the way he says it and the fact that he weighs 125 lbs is brilliant.

That's one of the best things I've ever seen on the internet. Bravo to you sir, for the find. Bravo to the creators for being full of win.

Someone posted that on my wall the other day. And I badly want to hear the "Put the Knife Away (And Shut Your Mouth)" number.

"Let off some STEAAAAAAAAAM!"

Man, Bennet fits right in as a villain from a musical.

I'm a little put off by this since I've been fiddling with my own ideas for COMMANDO! The Musical for some time. But kudos to those that get results.

In my version, Dead Bennett becomes inflated by the steam pipe and floats above the final scene, his chainmail vest glinting in the light like a disco ball.

Does anyone else besides me get a kick out the way two black guys on Commando pronounce the word motherfucker like a nerdy white guy? Bill Duke at least had the class and street cred to pronounce it muthafucka, lol. By the way, I'm a big fan of Commando, warts and all.

Great fan commentary:
http://www.aboutheroes.com/?p=1232

Isn't it terrible to think John Matrix went on to become Governor of California.

Was watching AMC the other day when an AMC preview commercial came on, one of them a montage of scenes from Command and Will Smith's Wild Wild West, followed by the AMC card: AMC . . . Story Matters Here.

Thought that was pretty funny.

Not much on tv the day after Christmas. So I came across this on cable and it was like getting a late Christmas gift.

 

Yes, I learned all those things as well. I'll also add this one:

 

4. No one will check on a rotting corpse sitting in first class  on an 11 hour flight to a fictional Latin American nation.

 

Commando is an absolute classic!

 

It's the exact same music used in 48 Hours, isn't it? (Along with one of the same actors playing the exact same weasel also being chased).

 

 

Maybe not the best Arnold Schwarzenegger film but in my opinion, easily the greatest.

It's magnificent.

 

It's also responsible for one of the Top Three Internet Events Of 2011, the CHUD Commando Watchalong - http://www.chud.com/community/t/140470/commando-watch-along-saturday-november-26th

I proudly own the soundtrack. I got that reissue that came out a few months ago and sold out FAST. One of my favorite movies of all time. I remember my Dad taping the severely cut ABC Sunday Night Movie version for me back around 1990, and every time we saw it, my Dad would laugh a lot whenever Bennett was onscreen. I never understood it until many years later. Now that I'm clued in on the joke, it just makes the movie about ten thousand times more awesome. It's a movie that's not supposed to be taken seriously at all, and I want to believe that it was done with everyone playing it straight, and only afterward started talking it up as if it was entirely planned, but with Lester's other great movies, I have to think that it was all planned out in advance. Plus Arnold was the only then (and maybe still) that would poke fun at his own image.

It's not exactly the same but James Horner, who was an up and coming composer at the time, definitely use some of his tricks from 48 HOURS in COMMANDO and some cues sound almost the same.

 

Also amazes me how a couple can continue to film their own porno while gunshots are fired and two giant men are fighting in the room next door.

If I ever have to fight in a war, I want to fight the henchmen from Commando. None of them could shoot worth a damn. Hell, who am I kidding? Even if those guys were crack shots, their bullets would have probably bounced off of Matrix's flattop.

Wait, they were filming themselves?! I never caught that!

 

Yes, if you watch that scene closly you can see the old fashion tripod and video camera;  it goes by pretty quick so don't blink.

I feel like they had to play it straight. The problem with a lot of today's attempts to do these over-the-top ideas (Piranha 3-D and Machette immediately come to mind) is they go out of the way to show how in on the joke they are. Just make a fun movie and let the audience figure out when they want to laugh. Commando got the tone just right. Not as self-aware as its modern day counterparts and not as self-important as Rambo: First Blood Part II.

 

 

I actually did a university assignment on Violence in Film and TV and used Commando as a case study. 

 

I tallied 95 on screen fatalities caused directly by John Matrix plus an additional probable (armectomy guy) and another 6 people killed by other people. I think Matrix had only killed 6 people before the island massacre.

 

I didn't count the 'guards' in front of the 'buildings' he blew up as they were obviously dummies propped up on poles (which you could usually see) and they didn't fall down anyway.

 

How good (or bad) was my research?

 

(I ended up getting a 35/40 for the assignment and 80% for the subject. Still the highest mark I ever got in university - well except for that subject at a different university and a different course many, many years later in travel and tropical disease medicine).

Remember, his soldiers are PAYTRIOTS! Guess they're not too good at anything, not even cutting warm butter.

It could be a mixture of straight and in on the joke camp. Either way it adds to the hilarity!

Nothing beats Arnold feeding a deer out of the palm of his hand, followed by that maniacal laugh. Truly a man who enjoys nature.

Commando also boasts mall security cops who think their jobs are way more impportant than they actually are. Not to mention the inept cops who bust Matrix at the surplus store but then just happen to forget to handcuff the guy who just tried to steal enough weapons to start a small war!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=IliiXXDEEBE  

Had to do it.

 

Maybe their handcuffs weren't big enough. It's been known to happen.

Touche, sir!

 

For years I always thought that any sporting goods store had a secret room in the back with a military grade arsenal in it. I would try and spot the button under the registers and figure out where the room could be. If only art imitated life in this case.

 

Imagine how convenient, ... you're bored one weekend, or just feel the need to invade a small country. You go to your local Dick's store, pick up a M60, a 4 barrel rocket launcher and some claymores and your off.

 

What's really crazy is that I first watched this movie when I was 7 or 8, along with the rest of the wacked 80's movies. Probably explains a bit.

Here's another one:

5. It is possible to hit a lightpole head-on at a high rate of speed without showing any ill effects.

 

Fixed, but still no less ridiculous. Okay, a little less ridiculous.

Yeah, remember also that not only was she not wearing a seat belt, but there was, in fact, no seat due to it being ripped out by hand.

Thanks. As tough as Matrix was, he probably could have literally run into a lightpole without being the worse for wear.  When Arnold was carrying a log and a chainsaw at the beginning of the movie, how many people besides me thought that he would have made a decent living cutting pulpwood?