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Connecticut chimp goes apeshit - Page 3

post #101 of 135
2/24/09 at 5:01pm
ackward ...
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post #102 of 135
2/24/09 at 5:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
I look forward to seeing what head you guys photoshop onto my arms
This quote and pic gets my vote.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
"I'm gonna rip your balls off, you hairless weakling! Tee hee!"
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post #103 of 135
2/24/09 at 5:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
This quote and pic gets my vote.
Dying. of. laughter.
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post #104 of 135
2/24/09 at 9:55pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Overlord View Post
I like the odd lumberjacking case once in a while, yes.

I look forward to seeing what head you guys photoshop onto my arms (taken on the same day):
FUCKIN' SEXY!

Is it okay for me to reduce you to a piece of meat if all you show me is a few pieces of meat? (Wait, that came out weird...)
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post #105 of 135
2/25/09 at 12:11am
Do you find being physically intimidating makes your job as an attorney easier?
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post #106 of 135
2/25/09 at 4:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
FUCKIN' SEXY!

Is it okay for me to reduce you to a piece of meat if all you show me is a few pieces of meat? (Wait, that came out weird...)
Yes. Yes.

Quote:
Do you find being physically intimidating makes your job as an attorney easier?
I find it makes every interaction easier. Except for being able to avoid scaring small children. Or women I was trying to hit on back in the day.
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post #107 of 135
11/11/09 at 9:18pm
Jesus.

http://www.nbcdfw.com/entertainment/...-69761012.html
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post #108 of 135
11/11/09 at 9:23pm
Quote:
She lost her nose, eyes, lips and hands
Jesus fuck.
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post #109 of 135
11/11/09 at 11:24pm
Chimp Food Lady On Oprah!
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post #110 of 135
11/11/09 at 11:49pm
So You Need To Disarm A Chimpanzee
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post #111 of 135
11/12/09 at 12:03am
Get Chimp, or Die Tryin'.

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post #112 of 135
11/12/09 at 4:09pm
I saw this. I think she'd have been better off if the chimp just fucking shot her.
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post #113 of 135
11/12/09 at 5:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
Jesus. That chimp mangled her into a ninja turtle.
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post #114 of 135
11/12/09 at 5:39pm
[IMG]http://media.nbcdfw.com/images/600*450/nash-x-1.jpg[/IMG]

Posting as punishment for everyone clicking to check in on this lady's misery. Feast your eyes, glut your soul, etc.

Edit. It didn't work. Now I feel silly. My Old Testament judgment upon you is a failure.
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post #115 of 135
11/12/09 at 5:47pm
The 11th and final plague: Bad image links
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post #116 of 135
11/12/09 at 5:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
[IMG]http://media.nbcdfw.com/images/600*450/nash-x-1.jpg[/IMG]

Posting as punishment for everyone clicking to check in on this lady's misery. Feast your eyes, glut your soul, etc.

Edit. It didn't work. Now I feel silly. My Old Testament judgment upon you is a failure.
I blame Planet of the Apes.
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post #117 of 135
11/12/09 at 6:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
Holy Jesus on a cracker. You know, I'm pretty anti-suicide - things will get better, there's nothing you can't overcome, blah blah blah. But I have to say, how the hell do you go on after that? Quite frankly, I'd find another chimp to finish the job.
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post #118 of 135
11/12/09 at 10:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacknifeJohnny View Post
Saw the pic last night, as well as the interview, and... um... DAMN.

Gotta go with Lisa on this - unless someone comes up with a head transplant procedure, or can clone her a new one, suicide might seem like a viable option here. Hell, I wouldn't blame the owner of the monkey that did this if they committed seppuku either. How the fuck do you live with yourself if you are somewhat responsible for inflicting such hideousness on another person?
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post #119 of 135
11/12/09 at 10:44pm
The century is young. Assuming the Mayan math was out and we're going to survive the 2012pocalypse then advances in plastic surgery, robotics and magical eyeballs could see her looking better than ever in ten years time. People will be lining up to pet all manner of simians, jungle cats and carnivourous ocean-dwelling megafauna with nary a worry in the world.
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post #120 of 135
11/13/09 at 8:28am
Yeah, that woman who got her face blown off with a shotgun got a fairly decent looking reconstruction job, she had all the right bits in the right places, although she still had her eyes.
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post #121 of 135
11/13/09 at 1:53pm
That's the thing I think will prevent her from actually getting a viable face transplant, is the missing eyes. She still holds out hope, however, so who knows?
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post #122 of 135
11/13/09 at 2:18pm
Going back and reading that original article for the first time, this...

Quote:
Travis disappeared into the woods. Eventually officers picked up a blood trail, which they followed back to the house. There they found Travis in his living quarters, a caged-in area with a bed and other furnishings of comfortable captivity. He was dead.
REALLY choked me up. I'm a big animal softie, and horrible monkey rage or no, thinking of it from the chimps perspective (being stabbed by your long time owner and then the above) is so fucking sad.
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post #123 of 135
11/13/09 at 2:25pm
This poor woman is a real life version of the soldier from Johnny Got His Gun....
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post #124 of 135
11/13/09 at 3:23pm
PRIMATES!
Have taken my lips!
Taken my hands!
Taken my eyes!
Absolute Horr-or!
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post #125 of 135
11/13/09 at 3:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyeball Kid View Post
PRIMATES!
Have taken my lips!
Taken my hands!
Taken my eyes!
Absolute Horr-or!
Oh you fucking bastard. I'd give you a golden shower of Green Rep if I could.
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post #126 of 135
11/13/09 at 4:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Martin Savage View Post
Oh you fucking bastard. I'd give you a golden shower of Green Rep if I could.
(One thumb-up!)
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post #127 of 135
11/13/09 at 6:13pm
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bes...ttack.folo.cnn

I can't help but laugh at the news anchor and her over the top reporting. She's the female Mike Galanos.
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post #128 of 135
11/13/09 at 7:12pm
That's a real show? That lady is ridiculous. It's like a parody of Nancy Grace; gravely, emphatically shouting everything she says. I lost it when she actually picked up a gavel. How could anyone stand watching that for more than a couple minutes?

And dear lord the victim looks like somebody tried to build a life-sized statue of a person out of raw meat and gave up halfway through

The stuff about the chimp being confused that his owner was stabbing him and then crawling back to his bed to die is depressing as shit. I too am a big wuss when it comes to animals and sad stories about them. I got it from my mom. I remember one time when I was a kid she read me some James Herriot stories and it ended with both of us bawling.
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post #129 of 135
11/13/09 at 7:25pm
James Herriot was a sadistic fucking asshole.
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post #130 of 135
11/13/09 at 7:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eyeball Kid View Post
PRIMATES!
Have taken my lips!
Taken my hands!
Taken my eyes!
Absolute Horr-or!
Jesus. Simple... yet so effective.
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post #131 of 135
11/14/09 at 3:27pm
Well at least if Ridley Scott decides against making MONOPOLY and opts for a sequel to HANNIBAL, at least he knows who to cast if Gary Oldman's quote is too high
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post #132 of 135
11/14/09 at 7:34pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/bes...ttack.folo.cnn

I can't help but laugh at the news anchor and her over the top reporting. She's the female Mike Galanos.
I can't believe at the very beginning when she actually makes a clawing motion at the camera as she describes the chimp clawing the woman's face off. Somebody originally wanted to go into acting...
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post #133 of 135
11/15/09 at 12:13am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LisaNY View Post
how the hell do you go on after that?


I wish I was joking.
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post #134 of 135
11/17/09 at 4:04pm
Yeah I'd go to the Zoo and start picking fights with random simians.

Agreed with the Chimp aspect being incredibly sad. Why did she even have a pet Chimp in the first place... shouldn't that be illegal?
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post #135 of 135
5/25/10 at 4:13pm
Chimp Owner found dead
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