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Dumb people + Power Tool Sex Toy = Blood

post #1 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:30am
Thread Starter 
Wow. Just wow.

Quote:
LEXINGTON PARK, Md. -- Some sexual experimentation landed a southern Maryland woman in a hospital with injuries tough to imagine and even more difficult to forget.


Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George's County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Investigators talked to the woman, who told them she suffered the injuries during a consensual act and that she and her partner were trying something new and no crime was committed, the sheriff's office said.
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post #2 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:32am
I saw this on another board and I'll respond the same way I did on that one:

Was John Doe near the scene?
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post #3 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:32am
Amazing...

I've done some odd things in my day, but pounding someone's snizz with a dildo fixed to a Saw-zall, is not one of them.
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post #4 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by EdHocken View Post
Was John Doe near the scene?
No, but Stanley was in close proximity.

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post #5 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:36am
Harry Pfarrer woulda done that shit right.
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post #6 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:45am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil View Post
No, but Stanley was in close proximity.
I think it was a Black and Wreck-her.
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post #7 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:49am
She took a saw in the vagina and was out of the hospital the next day? Vaginas are badasses.
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post #8 of 22
3/13/09 at 11:51am
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
She took a saw in the vagina and was out of the hospital the next day? Vaginas are badasses.
The Black Box is always recovered....always.
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post #9 of 22
3/13/09 at 12:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
Amazing...

I've done some odd things in my day, but pounding someone's snizz with a dildo fixed to a Saw-zall, is not one of them.
Absolutely NSFW
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post #10 of 22
3/13/09 at 1:35pm
Maybe it's just me, and my attitude towards sex is perhaps different than most due to age (41), orientation (flaming hetero) and experience (since I was 18), but exactly at what point do power tools enter into the equation? Oh sure, back in my day we had hot tubs, whips, chains, chandeliers, and Cheez Whiz, but this younger generation with their Black and Deckers and Craftsmen...

Seriously, don't people just fuck anymore?
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post #11 of 22
3/13/09 at 1:42pm
Buzzkill.
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post #12 of 22
3/13/09 at 1:48pm
The machine is the new flesh, old dude.
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post #13 of 22
3/13/09 at 2:13pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Buzzkill.
Fantastic on so many levels.
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post #14 of 22
3/13/09 at 2:16pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
The machine is the new flesh, old dude.
"Long live the New Flesh." My ass, Cronenberg. You can't have a post-coital cuddle or conversation with a power saw, nor can you take a battery home to meet your mom.

As for the "old dude" crack, youngster,I'd let you have it but good, but my nurse is telling me it's time for my Metamucil and my nap. Expect a letter home to your parents, though! And get off my lawn!!!!
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post #15 of 22
3/13/09 at 2:16pm
I can only hope that this power tool accident managed to remove this chick from the gene pool. Seriously, did her thought process begin and end with: "Hey! This thing moves up and down really fast!"
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post #16 of 22
3/13/09 at 6:32pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattioli View Post
I can only hope that this power tool accident managed to remove this chick from the gene pool. Seriously, did her thought process begin and end with: "Hey! This thing moves up and down really fast!"
Why start motorized?
What's wrong with a 'Leatherman'?
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post #17 of 22
3/13/09 at 6:35pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graham View Post
Why start motorized?
What's wrong with a 'Leatherman'?
People are too lazy these days...

They have to have an orgasm right now!
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post #18 of 22
3/13/09 at 6:36pm
I posted this story two days ago, but I guess people don't frequent the bizarre news thread anymore.

In any case, my reaction was AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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post #19 of 22
3/13/09 at 8:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
I posted this story two days ago, but I guess people don't frequent the bizarre news thread anymore.

In any case, my reaction was AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I know a girl around that age from the Lexington Park area. Should I feel bad that I keep hoping it was her?
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post #20 of 22
3/13/09 at 10:04pm
Maybe the dude was a failed magician.

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post #21 of 22
3/14/09 at 4:33am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diva View Post
I posted this story two days ago, but I guess people don't frequent the bizarre news thread anymore.

In any case, my reaction was AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I second that AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
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post #22 of 22
3/14/09 at 4:52am
I heard about this at work today, it is fucking hilarious, the stupidity of people never gets old.
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