since I feel like writing a short story...

I have an idea, just for practice on writing a short story. Someone give me a premise(starting with a perticliar genre)and a general idea. I will in turn write a short story and post it here. Hopefully the short story won't take me more than a couple of hours to write...

would you mine if I make it a tad a mockery of you? Like a very exaggerated version of you(I don't need to use your exact name). Just a satrical thing...

eh, its only for fun anyways. Besides it gives me the chance to be whimsical..

well unfortunatley for you, yes they are quite serious...

But I really hope, that if I work on it every day. I can be just as pretentious as you. I kid I kid...

yeah, your the subject matter...

If thats ok with you...

“The Fools in the Machine”
By
Flindip
There is a house somewhere located in California that is unassuming to most. It’s a simple house on a simple street with simple neighbors. But to the trained eye, one might be able to see the young man who resides inside. For like many reclusive creatures, he rarely leaves his den of living. Sure he might grab the mail or take out the garbage. But his calling isn’t for the outside world; no, it’s for the abstract one that lives inside his house and in many houses across the country. This abstraction, the internet, is where he is a king amongst the peasants who dare question his expertise in almost every subject known to human thought.
“Knock, Knock”, a loud sound can be heard emanating from the front door. About ten seconds later the knocking is followed by a door bell. More time passes, and a barrage of knocking and rings come from the door. Our subject is slumbering at his computer terminal, but his eyes begin to crack open ever so slightly. Like a drunk who had one too much the night before, the man slowly awakens and stammers to the front of the house.
“Who the fuck is it?!” The man rudely demands. “Uhh, UPS sir, I have a package for a Mr. David Fugassi.” The voice said in return with a slight tinge of shock. David opens the door ever so slightly to confirm that it is in fact a delivery man standing on his porch. Satisfied with the visual, David opens the door fully in order to receive the package. As the door is opened, the delivery driver is greeted by a horrific smell. He pretends to ignore it at first, but the wincing and tearing of his eyes become apparent very quickly. The driver isn’t quite sure if the smell is coming from this disheveled man in front of him, or hypothetical mounds of dog shit that might be found inside the residence.
Trying not to breath, the man hurriedly hands the occupant a pen and requests that he sign on his delivery sheet. Mr. Fugassi complies, grabs the package from the delivery driver and abruptly slams the door on his face. The driver, allowing himself to breath once again, walks back to his truck and drives off in the distance.
With his newly received package, David Fugassi slowly walks to his kitchen. The kitchen is littered with empty TV dinner packets that seem to trail to a grossly full waste basket. Grime is deeply seated within the walls, and there are stains of either dried orange juice or vomit on the floor. In contrast, the kitchen sink is almost completely immaculate. For our subject has abandoned the use of formal dining methods, instead opting for plastic utensils and paper plates. Fuggasi grabs one of the plastic knives from an opened bag; He gently penetrates the plastic knife into the shipping tape at the top. He then guides the knife slowly to the seams of the box.

I guess I will do it page by page. I'm busy working on something else...but I can probably get a few pages down tonight..

Eh not my style, how about a giant rotating log over the Empire State building with battle axes. That is way more badass, the winner gets to punch you in the face repeatidly.

But I don't wanna stop you in your quest for world domination as an adminstrative specalist.

See I can play the internet flame war as well, unfortunatley seems to be all that CHUD is nowadays.

Doesn't matter much to me, this board judges well before its necessary. Look, outside the gentlmen Geoff, everyone(I guess a few exceptions) have this obnoxious attitude towards people. I was just doing a bullshit story, with a bullshit premise for fun. Instead I get a hostile group of assholes who like reading the banal bullshit that seems to be virus on this board.

Chud is like fucking high school...

geesh, give me a break...I wrote that in ten minutes. Its nothing great technically, nor is it polished in its prose. But its not like its full endless grammatical mistakes.

Whatever, you guys weren't going to like anything I wrote anyways. But I guess I should say that is my fault, wrong forum for short story lit...

I don't care what the fuck you think. Your the same prick who gave me shit when I was inquiring about the script writing. Your still an arrogant asshole, so I guess nothing has changed.

I'll repeat again, I wrote that page in 10 minutes. It isn't something I was trying to get published, just something for fun. I can give a shit what you and your ego thinks. I'll finish the novel and then you can judge me if I am published...

Just let this fucking thread die, there is no point for it to continue..

Dude, I don't really care what one perticuliar guy has to think. I'm sorry to say I don't really care how you critique my internet responses. I have already shown my polished work(which I have not posted)to an editor. I have recieved positive feedback.

If you think that I am incapable of becoming a better writer, I must say I think your dead wrong. But, it doesn't matter what either of us are going to say. In the end I will either suceed or fail and it won't be because of some random person on the internet telling me otherwise.

Perhaps, but we will have to see in the end...