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The primate uprising catch-all thread

post #1 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:13pm
Thread Starter 
Prepare for the war for Earth.
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post #2 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:18pm
Jesus fuck man! The hits just keep on coming.
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post #3 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:21pm
They pushed him too far.

BROTHER KWAN
SUMMER 2010
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post #4 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:31pm
Fashioning weapons, throwing coconuts, eating faces... remember going to the zoo and watching the chimpanzees throw poop and grab themselves? And your mom would get all shocked and cover your eyes? Ah, memories.

So, anyone need any good locations to hunker down when Caesar starts leading his troops, or what?
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post #5 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:31pm
I blame this like I blame everything else. Squarely on the Bush administration.
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post #6 of 30
3/17/09 at 1:33pm
Can we blame Brother Kwan for his actions?

No... but I fear we will all reap the whirlwind for it.
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post #7 of 30
3/17/09 at 2:53pm
Brother Kwan will become the radical religious leader of the Ape Liberation Movement.

And we will be crushed under the opposable toes of their mighty anger.
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post #8 of 30
3/17/09 at 2:56pm
Thread Starter 
Let the fuckers come. I'll beat them like circus monkeys.
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post #9 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:06pm
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
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post #10 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:07pm
Thread Starter 
Hey, that's not what God said!
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post #11 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:08pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
I'm not giving up my dog...
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post #12 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:10pm
Thread Starter 
Your dog doesn't have hands so you should be OK. Be careful to lock it out of the house if you're gonna pass out from substance abuse or you'll get your face chewed, though.
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post #13 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:12pm
She weighs 6 pounds! Plus she's way too short to jump on the bed.
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post #14 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned.

Says you. I'm going to enslave as many animals as I can and they're going to like every second it.
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post #15 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:26pm
I think I am gonna catch me one or two of those predators, chain them with barwire, drill blunt metallic objects in their heads, feed them acid and set them on fire to get a scientific answer on how to fight them the best.

For the best of mankind and everlasting peace.
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post #16 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:27pm
And so it begins...
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post #17 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
Oh, make no mistake about it: caged or uncaged, a monkey--from the lowliest capuchin to the stateliest bonobo--would kill you and everyone you ever cared about if given the chance.
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post #18 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:30pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan View Post
I think I am gonna catch me one or two of those predators, chain them with barwire, drill blunt metallic objects in their heads, feed them acid and set them on fire to get a scientific answer on how to fight them the best.

For the best of mankind and everlasting peace.
Of course, it had to be the German guy to suggest this.
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post #19 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:31pm
Hey, we have won all our wa....Oh. Wait. There was something.

Nevermind, maybe this tactic will rather lead to this:
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post #20 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:32pm
Goddamit, where is that hyper-aging drug mentioned in The Hunger when ya need it?!
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post #21 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:36pm
Can you imagine when they finally learn to use firearms? Leaping from rooftops firing four pistols simutaneously, like a simian Chow Yun Fat?

We're so screwed.
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post #22 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:37pm
Man knew it when this picture was made...

Man knows it to this day...



Nothing beats the simple joy of a monkey knife fight.
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post #23 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:41pm
Sounds like these upstarts need a healthy dose of Dr. Martin Crank, America's foremost primatologist.
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post #24 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:42pm
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post #25 of 30
3/17/09 at 3:51pm
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post #26 of 30
3/17/09 at 4:12pm
Years from now, when winter blankets the earth in darkness year round, the scattered remnants of humanity will look back upon these last few months and whisper 'The signs were right there. How could we have missed them?' But, my friend, it will be too late.

Far, far too late.
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post #27 of 30
3/17/09 at 5:12pm
Everyone in this thread needs to go watch Argento's Phenomena right now. He was fucking prescient!
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post #28 of 30
3/17/09 at 6:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
Nothing beats the simple joy of a monkey knife fight.
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post #29 of 30
3/17/09 at 7:09pm
The fuck?! They should be focusing on the wonder twins making out. Priorities people! PRIORITIES!
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post #30 of 30
3/18/09 at 12:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Everyone in this thread needs to go watch Argento's Phenomena right now. He was fucking prescient!
Is that the one with a pre Labyrinth Jennifer Connolly in it?


also

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