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The primate uprising catch-all thread

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 
Prepare for the war for Earth.
post #2 of 30
Jesus fuck man! The hits just keep on coming.
post #3 of 30
They pushed him too far.

BROTHER KWAN
SUMMER 2010
post #4 of 30
Fashioning weapons, throwing coconuts, eating faces... remember going to the zoo and watching the chimpanzees throw poop and grab themselves? And your mom would get all shocked and cover your eyes? Ah, memories.

So, anyone need any good locations to hunker down when Caesar starts leading his troops, or what?
post #5 of 30
I blame this like I blame everything else. Squarely on the Bush administration.
post #6 of 30
Can we blame Brother Kwan for his actions?

No... but I fear we will all reap the whirlwind for it.
post #7 of 30
Brother Kwan will become the radical religious leader of the Ape Liberation Movement.

And we will be crushed under the opposable toes of their mighty anger.
post #8 of 30
Thread Starter 
Let the fuckers come. I'll beat them like circus monkeys.
post #9 of 30
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
post #10 of 30
Thread Starter 
Hey, that's not what God said!
post #11 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
I'm not giving up my dog...
post #12 of 30
Thread Starter 
Your dog doesn't have hands so you should be OK. Be careful to lock it out of the house if you're gonna pass out from substance abuse or you'll get your face chewed, though.
post #13 of 30
She weighs 6 pounds! Plus she's way too short to jump on the bed.
post #14 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned.

Says you. I'm going to enslave as many animals as I can and they're going to like every second it.
post #15 of 30
I think I am gonna catch me one or two of those predators, chain them with barwire, drill blunt metallic objects in their heads, feed them acid and set them on fire to get a scientific answer on how to fight them the best.

For the best of mankind and everlasting peace.
post #16 of 30
And so it begins...
post #17 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Werewolf Girl View Post
Planet of the Apes jokes aside, all these monkey attacks go a long way towards proving that animals don't like to be kept as slaves or imprisoned. Who woulda thunk it!
Oh, make no mistake about it: caged or uncaged, a monkey--from the lowliest capuchin to the stateliest bonobo--would kill you and everyone you ever cared about if given the chance.
post #18 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jan View Post
I think I am gonna catch me one or two of those predators, chain them with barwire, drill blunt metallic objects in their heads, feed them acid and set them on fire to get a scientific answer on how to fight them the best.

For the best of mankind and everlasting peace.
Of course, it had to be the German guy to suggest this.
post #19 of 30
Hey, we have won all our wa....Oh. Wait. There was something.

Nevermind, maybe this tactic will rather lead to this:
post #20 of 30
Goddamit, where is that hyper-aging drug mentioned in The Hunger when ya need it?!
post #21 of 30
Can you imagine when they finally learn to use firearms? Leaping from rooftops firing four pistols simutaneously, like a simian Chow Yun Fat?

We're so screwed.
post #22 of 30
Man knew it when this picture was made...

Man knows it to this day...



Nothing beats the simple joy of a monkey knife fight.
post #23 of 30
Sounds like these upstarts need a healthy dose of Dr. Martin Crank, America's foremost primatologist.
post #24 of 30
post #25 of 30
post #26 of 30
Years from now, when winter blankets the earth in darkness year round, the scattered remnants of humanity will look back upon these last few months and whisper 'The signs were right there. How could we have missed them?' But, my friend, it will be too late.

Far, far too late.
post #27 of 30
Everyone in this thread needs to go watch Argento's Phenomena right now. He was fucking prescient!
post #28 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lima Oscar Lima View Post
Nothing beats the simple joy of a monkey knife fight.
post #29 of 30
The fuck?! They should be focusing on the wonder twins making out. Priorities people! PRIORITIES!
post #30 of 30
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratty View Post
Everyone in this thread needs to go watch Argento's Phenomena right now. He was fucking prescient!
Is that the one with a pre Labyrinth Jennifer Connolly in it?


also

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