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Break Up Advice: go!

post #1 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:22am
Thread Starter 
I generally try not to let anything too personal onto the boards, and I'm certainly not going to start now, but I'm feeling pretty goddamn awful today, and if anyone has any tips for surviving a truly crushing and catastrophic break-up, I would appreciate it.
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post #2 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:45am
Alcohol, and lots of it?
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post #3 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:55am
Thread Starter 
Well, I'd figured that much out.
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post #4 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:56am
Post about it on the internet.

Then kill yourself.
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post #5 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:05am
Become extremely wealthy, and when she comes crawling to you, destitute, bruised from the hands of her drunken husband, begging you to take her back, laugh "Ahahahahahahaha!" and then say "No!".

This might take a little time, though.
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post #6 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:06am
Why do you post in this type of thread so damn much if you're going to post responses like that?
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post #7 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:07am
Thread Starter 
Dev, less dickery, more Trek reviews, please.
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post #8 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:10am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arjen Rudd View Post
Dev, less dickery, more Trek reviews, please.
I second that. I like Devin's Trek reviews.
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post #9 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:26am
If we were to recommend films for you to watch, that would ease the pain, what should we recommend?

Is it more fun to watch bitter fantasies about having them come back to you, because of your heroic exploits, as in DIE HARD II, or is it better to watch lots of romantic films like "The Way We Were", with Redford and Streisand?

Is it good to watch slightly misogynistic fantasies about being a loner, who has no need for women, like in the Sergio Leone /Clint Eastwood westerns? (I personlly don't recommend going the misogyny route... bad habit, prevents one from pickiing up with a nice girl later).

Maybe you should think of some "type" you like who is as far away from your ex as possible, and then rent tons of movies starring actresses who look like that other type.

Hum.

You could also eat lots of ice cream and get really fat.
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post #10 of 47
3/18/09 at 6:18am
Quote:
“She said she loved me but when she left she took the TV, the bed, and the VCR. Guess when we were at home and she said, I love you, I love you, I love you. I must have been standing in front of the TV, the bed, or the VCR. So like an idiot, I believed her. I love you, you big 19 incher...Thanks honey. It’s what she can’t have. Now the Toshiba’s gone. What am I going to do? Get bitter?......

You can‘t get bitter man. Just because someone tells you they love you, and then they leave. You gotta think there‘s a reason. You‘ve gotta find a bright side. You‘ve gotta move on after they leave.... You know what? I’m glad she left. It helped my career. Because I’m driven now. I’m driven by a fantasy.

A fantasy that one day this girl who I loved more than anything in the world - and she said she loved me - then left, that one day she’s going to be living somewhere, in a trailer park, living with this ex-welder, 600 pounds, fur all over his back, drinks beer, farts, belches, beats the kids, watches the Dukes Of Hazzard every night -and has to have it explained to him.

She‘s going to have nine little kids with rickets, bring home dead animals from the side of the road for them to eat at night, dirt in their hair, birds in their face, and rats laying eggs in their ears every night.

One night that welders going to be making love to her, he‘s going to be on top, suddenly his hearts going to explode and she‘s going to be trapped under 600 pounds of flaccid, fish belly cellulite, shifting like the tides of the oceans, as blood, phlegm and bile pour out of his mouth and nose, into her face, and just before she drowns in that tepid puddle of afterbirth,she‘s going to turn to The Tonight Show on TV:

And I‘m going to be on it.”
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post #11 of 47
3/18/09 at 6:29am
Just find shit to keep you busy, dude.
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post #12 of 47
3/18/09 at 6:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Riviello View Post
Alcohol, and lots of it!
heheheheheh
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post #13 of 47
3/18/09 at 8:27am
Sorry dude. Hard as it is, think twice before doing/saying anything regarding the ex that you might regret.

Also, thanks Walcott. That was an excellent start to the day.
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post #14 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Francis Wolcott View Post
All of this.
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post #15 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:14am
Ya just keep busy and force yourself to try new things. They can be little things, like doing the opposite of what you normally do (even smiling at everyone you pass by while walking if you don't already) or bigger stuff like skydiving. (Or less dangerous and terrifying stuff than skydiving, but still big.)
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post #16 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:17am
My suggestion: Go to the gym. Get into a routine that takes your mind off of the breakup and stick with it. You'll get in better shape and you'll feel better, both physically and mentally.
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post #17 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:18am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
My suggestion: Go to the gym. Get into a routine that takes your mind off of the breakup and stick with it. You'll get in better shape and you'll feel better, both physically and mentally.
Bingo.
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post #18 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:21am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
My suggestion: Go to the gym. Get into a routine that takes your mind off of the breakup and stick with it. You'll get in better shape and you'll feel better, both physically and mentally.
I agree with this.

I would also encourage you to set aside time each day--15 minutes, an hour, whatever-- to grieve, to think whatever you want to think without feeling guilty or thinking that you should be "over" it. The pain isn't going to vanish overnight, and you won't always be in control of it, but giving yourself specific blocks of time to grieve ensures you're not unduly repressing anything that could infect other parts of the recovery process.

Good luck. I wish you didn't have to go through this.

And at risk of sounding New Agey, meditation can also be a useful tool to help yourself cope, much like physical exercise's mental equivalent.
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post #19 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:28am
The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
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post #20 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:38am
You should learn how to play the African drum. That's a great way to get out of a funk and discover a new zest for life.
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post #21 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:39am
Spend some money on yourself that you typically would spend going out, having dinner, etc. on her. It's been a bit of a revelation to me how much money I actually have when I take a break from dating (e.g. get my fucking heart broken again), so spoil yourself.
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post #22 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:55am
Judas and BillyG are on the money. You're single now, so use the time and money you'd spend on your ex and improve yourself. Get into shape, get your learn on and take a class, learn to play an instrument - something, anything, to make you a better you. Plus, you might run into someone special in the meantime!

Also, go out and have fun tonight. You no longer have to buy your ex presents, do things your ex wants to do that you really couldn't care less about, etc. Look on this whole break-up as a new opportunity for yourself.

Oh, and hit your local strip club your tale of woe may earn you an extra table dance or something.
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post #23 of 47
3/18/09 at 11:57am
I'd say take her photo and make copies to use at the pistol range...

but workouts are good too.
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post #24 of 47
3/18/09 at 12:22pm
Don't forget to masturbate. It will take the edge off. But don't think of your ex. It will make things worse.
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post #25 of 47
3/18/09 at 12:27pm
The answer to the problem is, curiously, the name of the forum you posted in.

Go now, and fuck.
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post #26 of 47
3/18/09 at 12:58pm
Rudd, I feel for you man. I'd give you advice but last time I got dumped I tried killing myself, got hospitalized, got out, and drank myself fifty pounds heavier. So, in other words, don't follow my example.
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post #27 of 47
3/18/09 at 1:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timothy225 View Post
Judas and BillyG are on the money. You're single now, so use the time and money you'd spend on your ex and improve yourself.
I was thinking less improve yourself, and more buy a shitload of Xbox games, some pizza, a new big screen, and a bluray player. After you get over the depression, and add 30 pounds, then you can work out and feel doubly improved when the ladies actually talk to you again.
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post #28 of 47
3/18/09 at 1:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
I was thinking less improve yourself, and more buy a shitload of Xbox games, some pizza, a new big screen, and a bluray player. After you get over the depression, and add 30 pounds, then you can work out and feel doubly improved when the ladies actually talk to you again.
I thought that you were talking about spending the money on hookers and blow...but yeah, xbox games and pizza will work too.
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post #29 of 47
3/18/09 at 1:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Judas Booth View Post
I thought that you were talking about spending the money on hookers and blow...but yeah, xbox games and pizza will work too.
Hookers and blow aren't standard budget items for any man under 35?
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post #30 of 47
3/18/09 at 1:15pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillyG View Post
Hookers and blow aren't standard budget items for any man under 35?
Valid point. I forgot what it was like to be young and single.
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post #31 of 47
3/18/09 at 1:22pm
Work out and spend more time with your male friends. Get busy man, working out as Judas said is the best...For one, you're working out and feeling better about yourself. Second, when you do join the gym, look around you! The eye candy is pure amazing and you never know who you'll meet!

(send me a message if you want a work out schedule that works well.)
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post #32 of 47
3/18/09 at 2:56pm
1. Quit whining like a bitch about it.

2. Go out and nail her best friend.


Remember, Women are like Doritos. Crunch all you want. They'll make more.
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post #33 of 47
3/18/09 at 3:06pm
Go fuck her Mom.
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post #34 of 47
3/18/09 at 3:18pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by nekkerbee View Post
Go fuck her Mom.
Home Base.
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post #35 of 47
3/18/09 at 3:34pm
Thread Starter 
Whoa. Some very good stuff here, and some funny stuff. Thanks to everyone. I like that Bill Hicks stuff.
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post #36 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBaseNick View Post
Work out and spend more time with your male friends. Get busy man, working out as Judas said is the best...For one, you're working out and feeling better about yourself. Second, when you do join the gym, look around you! The eye candy is pure amazing and you never know who you'll meet!

(send me a message if you want a work out schedule that works well.)
Going gay may not be his best option right now.
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post #37 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:49pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Going gay may not be his best option right now.
I may be misremembering, but I thought Arjen has said in the past that he was gay.
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post #38 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:51pm
Well there goes my joke.
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post #39 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:51pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by bendrix View Post
I may be misremembering, but I thought Arjen has said in the past that he was gay.
Well, if I recall correctly he was the Gayest. So there is that.
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post #40 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:53pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobClark View Post
Well there goes my joke.
It was still funny.
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post #41 of 47
3/18/09 at 4:58pm
Whatever you do, don't break into their house and ejaculate all over their most precious belongings while screaming "Now I'll always be with you!!!!!"
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post #42 of 47
3/18/09 at 5:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew S. View Post
Whatever you do, don't break into their house and ejaculate all over their most precious belongings while screaming "Now I'll always be with you!!!!!"
Your avatar makes this all the more hilarious.
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post #43 of 47
3/19/09 at 7:34pm
Was Arjen the breaker or the breakee?
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post #44 of 47
3/19/09 at 9:09pm
This is the worst place to get break up advice.

You'd have better luck on yahoo answers. lol.
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post #45 of 47
3/19/09 at 9:41pm
Staying active is the best advice. Hang out with some friends, buy yourself something funny, get a new hobby. Make plans for the weekend.

You'll get through it.
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post #46 of 47
3/20/09 at 6:35am
You can make yourself not give a shit. I tried it after the break up of my only serious relationship and it worked. It worked so well it surprised me. Just tell yourself "So fucking what?" and move on with your life as always. To paraphrase Don Draper, you won't believe how much you won't care.
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post #47 of 47
3/20/09 at 3:22pm
Get a hooker that looks like your EX and make sure she allows for BSDM. Works everytime.
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