Never Not Funny

The article mentioned nearly everything I would say (including "pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot"), but no one mentioned Anchorman, which I can probably recite from start to finish.

I had forgotten about "The Story of Everest". Oh. My. God.

Thank you, Brendan. I'm making this a Facebook note.

This one's among the best because of guest star David Cross and the judicious infusion of sadness, but honestly, I get routinely and reliably destroyed by any of the Aqua Teen's adventures.

For me, it's mostly due to Master Shake. He's got the funny voice and the random humor (that's getting old of late), but it's the character traits that make the magic happen. He's always trying to lie and brag and keep everything secret, while not knowing what he's talking about at all. Never fails to crack me up, whether in a great episode or a terrible one.

Most of the greats were mentioned in the article, but here are 3 of my favorites:

Puttin' on the Ritz

The Mighty Mouse Theme

Most episodes of the American Whose Line Is It Anyway contain some greatness, but for now I'll pick this.

1. The screwball comedies of Preston Sturges: Smart while silly at the same time, Haul the Conquering Hero and Miracle at Morgan Creek especially always crack me up. Has there ever been a director with such impeccable comic timing?

2. The Blues Brothers-the movie that tickles all my sensibilities at once. Arguably John Landis' best movie; it's where the 70's meet the 80's (rough and gritty tangled up in glossy high concept) An Aykroyd-Belushi/ rock n roll comedy perfect storm

3. The comedies of Cary Grant-You take even a pedestrian movie like Topper--he kills in it, makes it almost special. His Girl Friday, Bringing Up Baby, The Awful Truth, My Favorite Wife, and Monkey Business... One of a kind talent.

*Even though its not a straight comedy, think I laugh hardest at North By Northwest

4. Vince Vaughn-not a lot of CHUD love for the guy, but he kills me like vintage Bill Murray. From Swingers (baby) to Old School, Dodge Ball and Wedding Crashers he was always on. Loved the Anchorman cameo, and--Lord help me--even found his shtick funny in Fred Claus. One criticism leveled at him is he can't do sincerity--Into the Wild begs to differ--but who cares. What funnymen are?

5. Peter Sellers in the Pink Panther series--You know, physical comedy doesn't do it for me a lot. (Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura? Yawn. ) But that something special Sellers had made even the more meandering installments a feel good fun ride. As a kid, I couldn't get enough of his almost zen-like stupidity. Giggling just thinking of A Shot in the Dark, where to his totally non-plussed befuddlement, his in-disguise, undercover efforts constantly result in arrest.

6. Bill Murray Groundhog Day-Can watch this movie over and over

7. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder--their scenes together in Silver Streak are legend, but Stir Crazy is the formula coming together
"Yea, that's right! That's right! We bad!"

8. Jack Warden in Shampoo and Used Cars

"Now that's what I call fucking!"

"50 Dollars never killed anybody!" /Ack!/

9.Freebie & the Bean + 48 Hrs.

10. Bottle Rocket-Owen Wilson's Dignan makes up for a hundred You, Me, and Duprees

Honorable Mention-Freaks and Geeks, Dazed & Confused, Phil Hartmen on SNL, My Man Godfrey, Trading Places, Smokey & the Bandit, Annie Hall, Lost In America

There's a brief scene in Blazing Saddles that kills me every time. The kindly schoolmarm is reciting her speech to the Governor in a mealy-mouth voice and everyone yells at her to speak up. When she blurts out the speech the second time, everyone flinches in several different ways. Just great physical comedy.

Also: Susquehanna Hat Company!

Dustin Hoffman's climactic reveal in Tootsie is pretty much tailor made for a thread like this. I've seen this movie hundreds of times since I was a kid, and when he rips off the wig it still kills me.

Also: "That. Is one. Nutty. Hospital."

It's all classic comedy albums for me:

Steve Martin: Let's Get Small
"I dunno, mind if I FART?"

2000 Years With Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks
"Pardon my saying so, sir, but you seem ill-equipped to be an astronaut."
"Waddya mean? I got gloves and everything!"

Also...
"The softer ones I think were ladies all the time."

The Edge of Shelley Berman
"Were you very fond of that cat?"

Hicks' Rush Limbaugh

I didn't even know who Limbaugh was when I first heard this, but Hicks' dark poetry is so glorious, it still slayed. Possibly the funniest, most elaborate cheap-shot I've ever heard.

You could pick almost any Hicks routine, but this is something special.

-- The Producers, (end of the clip): Dick Shawn has just finished his absolutely bizarre audition, rubbing a banana peel on his face and sucking his thumb. And then? "THAT'S OUR HITLER!!!!" God, Mostel just rules in this movie.

-- Monty Python's Flying Circus, (at 4:25): John Cleese and Graham Chapman as two housewives discussing the penguin on top of the television. Chapman says, "Oh, intercourse the penguin!" And it's obviously a bit of improv, because Cleese damn near dies when he says it.

Uncle Fukka - This movie was one of the all time best movie experiences of my life; the communal laughter in the theater actually caused physical pain, and this scene was probably one of the hardest laughs that I've ever experienced. It still cracks me up.

'Ghostbusters' and 'Fletch' get me every time, and most Monty Python oriented stuff is good for a laugh.

Probably my favorite performance of The Four Yorkshireman sketch. Also, you can't go wrong with Salad Days.

Monty Python : Upperclass Twit of the Year Awards and Find The Fish - one of the greatest most surreal sketches in history.

Blazing Saddles as a whole (even the slightly-off-rails third act) never gets old, but sorry, in terms of a never fail laugh, it pretty much comes down to this.

Also, there's a bunch of his skits eligible for this thread, but this bit is still the most consistent gut laughs the guy's ever elicited from me.

I've said this many times before in The Simpsons but:

"That wasn't part of our deal Blackheart. THAT WASN'T PAAARRRRRTTTTTT!"

A scene from Animal House:

Bluto's Motivational Speech

Bluto freaking out when they drop the booze

The opening line to the Jerk

The "Hater's Ball" sketch from Chappelle's Show. Every single fucking thing that is said and done in that sketch is hysterical to this day.

The obvious racial humor is good, but Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder have some great one-liners that slip through all the absurdity:

"Bart, they said you was hung!"
"They was right!"

"Are we sober yet?"
"That depends...are we black?"

Not to mention Slim Pickens' immortal "Piss on you, I'm workin' fer MEL BROOKS!"

I kinda like "The Time Haters" a little better but both are gold.

"What sorts of things do you do?"
"Play chess...screw."
"We'll play chess then."

This thread is making my stomach hurt. I can't laugh that much at a sitting. I had never seen Mr. Show's "The Story of Everest" before, and it nearly killed me.

Monty Python's Election Report. 'Nuff said.

I've done the debate before, but Animal House always gets lumped in with the Caddyshack snobs vs slobs comedies - and that's fine - but as a FILM they aren't even in the same universe. Caddyshack is great, but it's really just a paper-thin plot on which are hung great comic riffs by Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray, Ted Knight, and Chevy Chase; Animal House is more fully realized. I think if you put no-names in the star roles in 'shack, it's just OK; same thing with AH and it's still great.

Now that I think of it, the only real "star" in AH is Belushi anyway. Though John Vernon makes every scene he's in better ("It's time someone put his foot down....and that foot is ME.")

Were it not for Animal House. I wouldn't have my main catchphrase:

"My advise for you is to start drinking heavily."

I will listen to you, since you're pre-med.

Surely Clayton Bigsby is up there with the best of Dave's skits, too. (And wasn't it the very first?)

I've probably seen Animal House more than any other comedy. It's chock full of moments that always work for me. The "We're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America" speech is a thing of beauty.

The exchange in Mr Mom when Keaton meets his wife's boss is awesome...

"Ya wanna beer?"
"It's 7 o'clock in the morning."
"....scotch?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna knock out this wall, put on an addition...doin' all the wiring myself"
"Ah, running the old 220, eh?"
"um, 220, 221...whatever it takes."

"Are these any good?"
"uh, you got plenty."

It gets a little soft at the end, but a solid, solid comedy. Funny, I was just pimping Keaton elsewhere today...where did he ever go?

My favourite Chappelle of all time is Charlie Murphy's story about meeting Prince. It never gets any less funny.

A great example of Vernon stealing a scene...when the Deltas start the "blowjob" cough, Dean Wormer leans over and you can see him mouth "what's that?" to Marmalard; when Marmlard whisper back Vernon just shoots this look that is priceless.

A SNL skit that kills me: the chapstick sketch from around '88.

Person after person (the more disgusting, the further down the line) ask to borrow Dana Carvey's chapstick (and adamantly insist on giving it back). Much hilarity ensues.

Favorite line: after someone (Carvey out of desperation, I believe) drops the chapstick down a sewer grate-

"Does anyone have a stick"

"I have a dead snake."

Time Haters is great, too, but Hater's Ball gets the edge because of their reaction to the picture of Diddy: "He got small teeth. He got dolphin teeth."

There was a Simpsons bit I wanted to post, and astonishingly, I couldn't find it on youtube. It must be the only contiguous five minutes of Simpsons footage that somebody hasn't posted.

It's from the episode where Bart and Lisa become reporters, and compete on fluffy human interest stories. The crazy cat lady almost made pizza come out of my nose. That's not pleasant.

Actually, I did find one guy who'd posted it. But not only was it filmed by pointing a camcorder at the TV, it was in Spanish. I wasn't that desperate.

Anyway, that's one of my all-time favorite Simpsons moments.

Oh, so many things get me giggling -
1) The Tallywacker scene from Porky's (especially the two guys in the back)
2) Gabby Johnson from Blazing Saddles
3) Roger Bart as Carmen Ghia in The Producers

Also: Bill Hicks, Monty Python, Eddie Izzard, Kinison, etc.

Thomas Lennon just kills me in this bit, particularly his conclusions.

The Will Arnett Sex Tape from Human Giant. Probably the hardest I've ever laughed at a skit - though Story Of Everest comes close.

"Hmmm, there's something I'm forgetting to do"
"Pick up Bart. PICK UP BART!"
"Pick a bar? What the hell is pick a bar?"

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"Excuse me, can you tell me the best way to get back on the interstate?"
"Hey fuck yo mamma!"
"Thank you very much."

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"Good morning ma'am, and isn't it a lovely morning this morning?"
"Up yours ni@@er!"

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"So what is he?"
"What?"
"What star sign is he?"
"Um... Capricorn"
"...and whats that then?"
"He is our messiah, son of god, King of the Jews."
"and that's Capricorn is it?"

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"It smells like Bigfoots dick!"

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This

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This

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SO many more I could mention

The episode where Homer goes to college has long been my favorite for the following reasons:

I am so smart. I am so smart. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. I mean, S-M-A-R-R-T.

Curly. Straight. Curly. Straight. Curly. Straight.
Mr. Simpson, I don't think the pig likes that.
Of course he does. Curly. Straight. Curly. Straight. *pig bites him*

Raghr! Must destroy mankind! [watch beeps] Ooh, lunchtime.
I still don't understand how he could've cause the meltdown; there wasn't any nuclear material in the truck.

- Everything Goodman says to Buscemi in THE BIG LEBOWSKI "Donny, you're like a child that walks into a middle of a movie and wants to know..."

- everything Bill McNeal says and does on NewsRadio:

Bill: You're not in Wisconsin, Dave. The big story isn't about a cow wandering into the town square.
Dave: Bill, I worked in Milwaukee, you know. It's a city with a population of a million people.
Bill: So that must have been quite a hubbub when that cow got loose!

- Homer's Phobia (possibly my favorite Simpsons episode):

Rosco: I want all of youse to say hello to the Simpsons.
Workers: [campy] Halloooooww!
Homer: [screams] Has the whole world gone insane?
Worker 1: [lisping] Stand still! There’s a spark in your hair!
Worker 2: [effeminate] Eek! Get it, get it!
Worker 3: [carrying crucible of molten metal wearing a Speedo] Hot stuff, comin’ through!
Bart: Dad, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?
Homer: [crying] I don’t know! This is a nightmare! You're all sick!!
Worker 4: Oh, be nice!
Homer: Oh! My son doesn’t stand a chance! The whole world’s gone gay! [klaxon sounds] Oh, my God, what’s happening now?
Rosco: [Everybody Dance Now begins to play] We work hard. We play hard.

I honestly couldn't pick a single moment out of Lebowski - it's simply 2 fucking hours of never not funny.

The Shinning. 20 years on the air, I've yet to watch a Simpsons episode before or since this where I literally didn't stop laughing for an entire 10 minute stretch.

Triumph lambasting Star Wars nerds for being Star Wars nerds.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/621281..._star_wars_ii/

The fact that someguy shows up as Spock seals the deal.

Homer:"You know me Marge, I like my beer cold, my music loud and my homosexuals flaming!"

The SNL season featuring Billy Crystal, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer has alot of classic moments:
- Martin Short and Harry Shearer as the synchronized swim team.
- The 60 minutes skit investigating the Minkmans. Martin Short as the lawyer KILLS.
- Crystal and Guest as the two guys outdoing each other: 'I hate when that happens.'

There are really too many moments to list. I can't wait until this season gets released on DVD.

Don't forget "Chocolate Babies".

If we're allowing the Simpsons to dominate the thread, I just saw a rerun of the terrific Lemon of Troy, containing my favorite comeback ever:

Homer: That lemon tree's been in Springfield since the time of our forefathers. Give it back or we'll bust in there and take it!
Shelby's Dad: Bust in here and take it? You must be stupider than you look!
Homer: Stupider like a fox!

And one of my favorite minutes of comedy ever:

Abe: It all began when Jebediah Springfield first came to these lands with his partner, Shelbyville Manhattan.
[flash to pilgrims approaching a hilltop]
Jebediah: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets.
Shelby.: Yes, and marry our cousins.
Jebediah: I was- what are you talking about, Shelbyville? Why would we want to marry our cousins?
Shelby: Because they're so attractive. I, I thought that was the whole point of this journey.
Jebediah: Absolutely not!
Shelby: I tell you, I won't live in a town that robs men of the right to marry their cousins.
Jebediah: Well, then, we'll form our own town. Who will come and live a life devoted to chastity, abstinence, and a flavorless mush I call rootmarm?
[the people divide between Jebediah and Shelbyville]
Abe: The town of Springfield was born on that day, and to mark that sweet moment, our people planted this lemon tree, lemons being the sweetest fruit available at the time.

That episode featured a great take on how throwing a dog a steak will somehow stop it.

"Run boy, he's got a taste for meat now!"

Simpsons, Futurama, and Arrested Development are well accounted for, so I'll just try to list some stuf I haven't seen yet in the thread.

"The Audition" is my all time favorite Mr. Show sketch. Amazing. I just think it's a brilliant idea executed perfectly.

For Python, it's always the bit in Life of Brian where Brian is addressing the crowd and there's this exchange (paraphrased):

Brian: Look, you're all individuals!
Crowd: YES, WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!
Random Guy: I'm not!

Kids in the Hall: Anything involving Mr. Heavyfoot or the salty ham sketch.

Far as Mr. Show's concerned: This.

Entire sketch is hilarious in its own right, but it's "I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain" that elevates it to greatness.