Your Questions for Nick Nunziata, 2009-2011 - Page 14

 

How does a guy who eats out at restaurants every day of his life not have the money to pay his writers?

 

1. I love the Friday Wrap Ups, will they continue for many more fridays to come?

2. Why did you decide to shift to a goatee?

3. Did Steve get mad at your explanation of procreation at the beginning of the latest CHUDshow Videocast?

4. Where does Chinese food rank in your choice of foods?

5. Is there a particular director you'd like to see us do a retrospective on in The B-Movie Column?

6. What are your thoughts on Danny McBride?

7. What's your take on Troma and the films they make?

8. Do you ever buy any of those big packs of movies like "32 Drive In Classics Collection"?

9. Did you ever think Duke Nuke 'Em Forever was going to actually be released?

10. Is it just me, or do Chelcie Ross and Sam Neill look very similar?

Will we ever see Chud feature comics again?

I wanna see the return of Ron.

Why no mentions of Alex and Eileen leaving on the front page?

Who is Uncle Mitch, is he based on one of your relatives?

Someone had asked you a question awhile back about "fuck" making its way to regular broadcast and your response was something along the lines of "We don't need it."  Not that I necessarily disagree with you, but would you expound on that a bit?

With the recent departures of certain beloved staff members, what is the state of CHUD at this time?

The Curse of Princess Kate on Chud. Do you believe?

With all the "Old Guard" writers departing, will we soon see regular columns by Paul McCartney, Princess Kate and Duke Fleed?

Hi Nick Nunziata these are some questions for you to answer in your column YOUR QUESTIONS FOR NICK NUNZIATA, 2009-2011:

 

1. Where did everybody go?

 

2. Is Batman real or not? What do you think? I vote real, but everyone else says no, that's stupid.

 

3. Hey, you remember RON? That sure was a thing, huh?

 

4. Maybe you could do a new RON where Ron meets Batman. Maybe then people would come back to CHUD. You know, because they're curious about Batman and stuff.

 

5. If Ron did meet Batman, you would probably have to write some jokes, though. Here's one to get you started:

 

Q: How many Batmans does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

 

A: Bat-One.

 

6. I know that isn't very funny. I'm sorry. I guess writing RON is pretty tough after all.

 

7. Hey, did I already ask where everybody went? I forget.

Hey there, Nick. It's Slater again. Don't worry, this isn't because you haven't answered any of my questions yet. I know you can't rush comedy gold!

 

Anywhoo. One quick follow-up question:

 

Did you complain to Proboards to get our website taken offline because...

A) All those stripper jokes were hitting a little too close to home,

B) You were angry because our dopey forums were getting more daily page hits than CHUD or GUY, which is kind of, you have to admit, hiiii-larious,

C) Too many owl jokes,

D) Was it Carl? It was, wasn't it? We already had a talk about the "Jews" thing. All good.

E) Not enough owl jokes.

 

Please let me know as soon as possible, especially if it was either C or E. Because really, the owl thing is totally negotiable.

That place was way funnier than this place def gotta admit that

1) Did you ruin this site on accident or on purpose?

2) How many years ago did you lose your sense of humor?

3) Is burning bridges working out well for you?

4) When is MEG coming out?

5) Can you just draw the ending to the Bridger Chronicles on a napkin and scan it to a PDF file for me? I'm dying to know how that gripping saga ended.

I wasn't joking (except for Princess Kate). I'd honestly like to read Maca and Fleeds' reviews on Summer movies.

1. Did you act like a giant pussy and get our boards closed?

This is getting weird.

At the risk of coming out on the wrong side of history, there seems to be a lot of personal bullshit being tossed around willy-nilly. Can you guys not keep it personal please?

 

No offense to Nick, nor to anyone Nick has allegedly offended or slighted, or people who think they've been slighted by Nick, or any Orcs, Episode One lovers, or whathaveyou.

 

Let's be grown-ups. Keep it off the boards.

I'll admit that I'm taking cheap shots that probably don't need to be made. I'll also say that the best way to shut me up isn't for Nick to take his usual snotty, butt-hurt method of telling me to go fuck myself and not visit the site anymore. The best way to shut me up is to show me that he still gives a shit about a site  I have loved for over a decade and prove he still has the commitment to make it a site I love again. Arrogance and negligence has gone on long enough. Recommit or pull the plug.

How has Nick ruined CHUD? Bottom line, it's still a FREE place to discuss movies. Some people get off on stirring the pot, I suppose.

Recent changes to chud have made it, without a doubt, the worst movie site ever. Rest assured I was on the Internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world.

 - Hey, I know it wasn’t great, but what right do you have to complain?
 

As a loyal reader, I feel they owe me.

 

 - For what? They’re giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.

Worst movie site ever.

wow. I wish Nick owed me as much as he seems to owe so many people. Its almost liked they payed him for some sort of experience and feel slighted enough to ask for their money back.....I want this magical experience that is lacking now..or something.

 

 

Guess I'll just have to keep hanging around until it happens to me too.

 

Question: Can I ever be that cool?

Nick, You say the site is may be facing closure, I have some questions/things I'd like to say.

 

Can't the site shrink down, even if its owned by somebody else? Cut out video game and home release reviews (Unless something super interesting) and just stick to the latest Reviews and News?

 

I don't want to come off as negative, I've read this site for years. Its always been good. but lately, as a reader, I see a lack of focus. Lots of experimenting. But I think in the wrong places.

 

I also wonder, if the chewer community is outdated? Social Networking seems to have taken its place and I just don't think anybody new is going to join. Nobody really uses the Wikis and such. Its just too big.

 

Wouldn't it be worth 'Bloggifying' CHUD? Keep on the best writers (Rappe, Rothe, Renn, Greg) and have a regular Podcast (With You, Renn, Justin and Steve) that runs at the top of the page? Streaming and downloadable? Then make the sewer a little forum, just for the old guard to kick around in? Maybe new people will eventually join.

 

Surly the site can turn a better profit? Less spending on staff? On overheads? I know that CHUD is a 'site' and always has been, but I'd rather see it adapt and focus than vanish. Rappe is your lady. Put her at the top. She's the most insightful writer you've got right now. 

 

I know you've done this big relaunch, but I don't think its worked. Its too far gone. Maybe a few years ago. But it seems bloated.

 

I'm sure you've made up you're mind. I imagine you can't be bothered doing it all again. It's a massive hassle. But I hope you pass it on to somebody who will.

 

It's worth it. It's worth building on the site's heritage. Don't let it die away. Just adapt.

 

You're right. I have no right to expect a site that was once, at the very least arguably the best on the internet, to not be a shadow of it's former self. I should never comment on it's current sorry state or suggest that it's in decline. I shouldn't ask why great people move on an Nick acts like they never existed. I should just accept mediocrity with a smile and kiss ass like a chump who probably has no insight into it's history because it IS free to come here, just like every other film site that currently puts it to shame. I should just not care because the current cool click doesn't care.

 

How about instead of asking me about why the CHUD  decline bothers me, you realize that a good number of the greatest web film critics operating today once worked for CHUD and they decided to move on, then ask them what happened. Or let's be positive and wonderful people with no real connection to the site other than to jerk each other on a forum that no longer matters instead of asking Nick why he can't still be the Nick that far more readers loved.

The sorry truth looks like, Nick hasn't given a fuck about CHUD in years. He's been looking for an industry in and other people kept CHUD going. Those people have since tired of effort for no reason or pay and moved on. CHUD is now on Nick and Nick in spirit also moved on. No one's left to give a shit so CHUD is dead, which is a shame. Guy.com will make Grizzly Park look like The Manitou.

 

People change jobs. There isn't always a big conspiracy or drama behind it. There may be less activity on the boards but that's up to the Chewers.

Basically I don't see all that much to compain about.

Nick, in relation to my last post, I've quickly run up a design for how the site could look if slimmed down and made more blog like.

Open in new window/tab to embiggen.

So my question is, would you ever consider such a change?

If the site is in trouble, I sort of see at the best way to continue.

 

Edit: I know you're taking the piss Dickson, but Fixed for you anyway.

 

 

Edited by SeanCE - 5/5/11 at 5:56am

Needs more Deep Gold banners.

It's time, do it cap'n!

1) Is Craig a better Bond than Connery? If yes, why? If no, why not, and could your opinion change as he gets more films under his belt?

2) AVATAR is getting a ride. What other films do you think could make for great, crowd pleasing - money making - theme park attractions?

Who, in your opinion, wins in this Thunderdome contest: Walter White vs. Shane Vendrell vs. Tyrion Lannister? 

This and how about Finding a Discipline?

Here's a few more:

 

Favorite Fulci movie? (if you have one)

 

Baseless speculation: What goes down in the Breaking Bad finale?

 

Did you see Midnight in Paris? What's your favorite Woody Allen movie? (if you have one)

 

Current State of the Union on GUY and CHUD? 

 

Do you hear voices in the night? If so, what do they tell you to do?

Very glad to see this come back. Stay away, dicks! 

 

So, questions:

 

1. Most of Marvel's movies seem to be in the solid B/B+ range of quality. Do you think it might have been better to do fully funded 2D or digitally animated versions, to lessen the hard-to-escape stigma of grown people in silly outfits? (And I say that as someone who liked Captain American and Thor.)

 

2. Please settle this once and for all: who has the most amazing rack - Salma Hayek or Christina Hendricks?

 

3. What's creepier - Snape/Harry potter slashfic or Vader/wookiee slashfic?

 

4. Best pizza you've ever had?

 

5. Off the top of your head, favorite three flicks from before 1960?

 

6. Why do you think it's so hard for the big studios to get fantasy right in film?

 

7. What's the better band name: the Cringe Factor or Dancing Phalanges?

Edited by MichaelM - 10/1/11 at 8:38am

There are some heavy-duty-looking art films out this week. Any thoughts on Mysteries of Lisbon or The Mill and the Cross ?

Edited by Hammerhead - 9/29/11 at 10:31pm

How badly have you missed me?

Glad to see this column back!

1. Best Blu-ray feature you've seen.
2. Haven't seen any shitty parking persons on your facebook lately. Think they know and are now parking correctly?
3. Will we be seeing another entry of Nicky's Shrinking Pants Bulge soon?
4. Who do you want to see in The Expendables 2?
5. If Joe Spinell were still alive what movie would you want to see him in?

If you had to look in the mirror and ask yourself 3 very honest questions, what would they be? Answers optional.

Popping up on the Don't Be Afraid of the Dark blu-ray/DVD/video on demand/what ever the fuck?

I love the column man, keep it up. And honestly fuck the assholes, there's no place you can't go some prick won't stick their head out and try to shit on you. Anyway...

 

1. If you could have any musician, living or dead, perform with the Wizard's Keys who would it be, and why?

 

2. Between the site, the music and all the movie stuff you're up to (producing, etc.) what do you like to do with your free time?

 

3. You wake up to discover you've got incredible super powers!!!!! Hero or Villain?

 

4. 1958 Fender Stratocaster or 1968 Gibson SG?

 

5. You've got the utter confidence of a major studio and old white money to match. What's your dream project and why? Bonus points if you list cast/crew.

1. Can we get If CHUD Ran the Movies more often, even if it's just simply titles? Just an idea: Don't Be Afraid of the Darkman.

2. Meg Foster and Vera Farmiga stare at each other. Whose crazy blue eyes win the staredown?

3. In your opinion, did Michael Shannon get robbed at the Emmys of a nomination for Boardwalk Empire?

4. More morally bankrupt lawman: Nelson Van Alden or Keitel in Bad Lieutenant?

5. Favorite Michael Keaton performance?

6. Even in the wake of Nolan's films, do you still enjoy the 1989 Batman?

7. Bridesmaids or Horrible Bosses?

8. Favorite film set in New Jersey?

9. Did you see Red State? If you did, did you revolt against it?

10. I've had an idea that Rockstar should do a GTA or Red Dead-type game inspired by films like Death Wish and The Exterminator where you play as a vigilante. Would you play it?

11. I saw a Sega Genesis for sale for $19.99. Should I buy it, or should I pass, as I fear Jeff Bridges may destroy my system while lecturing me about not having a second life?

12. Bachmann or Palin: which one is more likely to be a closet lizard Nazi?

13. Will I sound like a buffoon if I always call Mark Harmon "the guy from Summer School" in conversations?

14. Favorite Sam Peckinpah film?

15. Did you see Abduction? It seems like a prime candidate for a Movie Microscope, but it's okay if you spared yourself because it looks hideous.

16. Eric Clapton's better film work: Lethal Weapon or Rush?

17. Total Recall or Point Break: which forthcoming action remake is more hopeless?

 

Looking forward to your answers!
 

 

 

 

So you're not doing it with the above questions?

 

I dunno about you all, but I'm still regrouping from a four-day Halloween. Nick, what was your costume if any?

Any more upcoming revisions to the CHUD site design? Will we ever see the return of a CHUD Man? Beefy and forgotten?