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Gash Wednesday, The Blog of Andrea Rothe - Page 2

post #51 of 297
8/12/09 at 5:46pm
Quote:
I've even tried a generously large cubic zirconia ring.
Hahahaha. Oh, miss. That will do nothing. I recommend burping, farting, picking your nose and pretending to eat it. You need to stir up some straight-up revulsion to end the leering, the looking, the throbbing. We're fucking animals.
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post #52 of 297
8/12/09 at 6:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea
*LOTS OF WINDOWLICKING PERVS*
You should have thrown a cup of your own urine on that window late one night before going back into the fray the following morning. Hell, I'd have done it every night.
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post #53 of 297
8/13/09 at 3:47pm
This entry completely bummed me out and I've never done anything of the cat-calling, intrusive verbal rapist variety. I think that means success!
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post #54 of 297
8/13/09 at 4:25pm
Sorry Andrea I couldn't concentrate on reading any of that on account of being so dazzled by your ass.

Honestly though, Phil nailed it, there is unavoidably a certain class of fuckwit that if you do want to respond you can only beat them by dropping to their level. The other thing you could try is to talk back to these dipshits in a Fran Drescher voice or something similarly nasal and aurally hideous. "Oh, aren't you just a sweetie-pie with all of your compliments, is that Shakespeare you're quoting?" or, "Thank you honey, you look great too, your mommy obviously paid extra special attention when she dressed her special boy this morning." You can't say them with snark though, you have to sell the character as if you're utterly sincere. But with vocal chords that could be used to hail ships in the fog. They think they're the dominant person in the interaction and that's where the buzz is for them, so reverse it on them by talking to them as if you really see them as a child.
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post #55 of 297
8/19/09 at 7:34pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2000/...NESDAY-17.html

Christmas in August. you're welcome.
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post #56 of 297
8/19/09 at 8:11pm
Are you the one not smiling?
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post #57 of 297
8/19/09 at 8:21pm
Fantastic blog entry. You do a fantastic job of vividly evoking a specific time and place, and personal esoteric set of emotions.
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post #58 of 297
8/20/09 at 6:51am
It was real. Very nice bit of writing Andrea, the air of tension and the ducking of it, the solace in the hallway. I could almost smell that tree myself.
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post #59 of 297
8/24/09 at 9:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Renn Brown View Post
Fantastic blog entry. You do a fantastic job of vividly evoking a specific time and place, and personal esoteric set of emotions.
Agreed, these are more like selected scenes from a novel than a mere blog (By mere blog I am of course referring to your blog, Renn (kidding)).

You definitely have some talent here, Ma'am.

I was also going to make some kind of taking "deck the halls" too literally joke, but I couldn't figure out how to make it funny.
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post #60 of 297
8/25/09 at 3:07am
Thanks so much, guys! I love to write!! Appreciate the encouragement. It's interesting how things come full circle. You know you go through that stuff for a reason. You don't want to live life as a martyr. You want to use it. And I've been blessed from above with words. Without them, I'd not be in as good shape as I am now. Have a lot to be thankful for.

nekkerbee, Yes, that's me not smiling. Not sure what my problem was. Teenage angst?
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post #61 of 297
8/25/09 at 3:45am
Thread Starter 
The word martyr. Quota. MET.
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post #62 of 297
8/25/09 at 7:06am
Quote:
Originally Posted by 88 Inches View Post
Thanks so much, guys! I love to write!! Appreciate the encouragement. It's interesting how things come full circle. You know you go through that stuff for a reason. You don't want to live life as a martyr. You want to use it. And I've been blessed from above with words. Without them, I'd not be in as good shape as I am now. Have a lot to be thankful for.
Sure Andrea, it's like Myq Kaplan says - "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Which is why people in comas are always so ripped. (Have you seen Hard To Kill?)".

I think we can all agree with that.
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post #63 of 297
8/26/09 at 3:22pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2017/...NESDAY-18.html

Uncharted subject matter as of yet. Enjoy!
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post #64 of 297
8/27/09 at 1:05am
Walk a mile in an Albatross's shoes he spends weeks at a time flying over the sea, blue above, below, infront, behind, left, and right, this maybe the reason albatrosses are more partial towards B&W photography than painting. Also hanging around people necks.
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post #65 of 297
8/27/09 at 1:07am
Thread Starter 
Though this bitch is my bestest pal in town and I'm biased, this blog is quickly classing this joint up nicely.
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post #66 of 297
8/27/09 at 3:38am
I have to agree. There is enough quality on display here to make the blogs a first-rate operation.

Great book title in the works here: My Struggle With Blue...
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post #67 of 297
8/28/09 at 6:18am
The first paragraph and a half I was thinking, nah, this one seems like hard work, her sickness is clogging the prose. Then from, "Sometimes the journey ..." it's just astoundingly good, an intriguing and illuminating insight into a part of your artistic mind that is at once foreign and familiar to me. And that last paragraph where you talk about the disconcerting disorientation of having the endless, bottomless sky beneath you, that's one of those simple, primal things that must be pretty much universal but it's something I've never heard anyone else talk about. Killer last words too, dramatically evocative as all get out.
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post #68 of 297
9/9/09 at 7:31pm
The newest. Enjoy!

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2039/...NESDAY-19.html
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post #69 of 297
9/10/09 at 12:52am
Scary words, run away. If our bubble takes any more hits like that it could burst.
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post #70 of 297
9/16/09 at 2:55pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2048/...NESDAY-20.html

The latest! Enjoy, folks.
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post #71 of 297
9/16/09 at 3:01pm
I hate that I missed #19. That was pretty great, as was this latest one. Keep 'em coming!
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post #72 of 297
9/19/09 at 6:21am
This may be a fucked up thought, but I Was watching a documentary on Crocodiles once, and they were showing how before they go on a hunt they will lie in the sun for half an hour to heat themselves up because with reptiles the temperature of their blood directly affects their perception, the warmer they get the faster their reflexes become and they begin to see the world like it's in slow motion. So while it's sad the little lizard died, in his final moments he probably saw the world with a clarity few of us could ever hope to achieve.

On the other hand it probably made the suffering seem that much longer, but don't think about that or you might feel bad about yourself again.

Telling you not to think about that, didn't work did it? You're probably thinking about it right now, and it's going to put you in a bad mood that will last the whole week, and it's all my fault.


Sorry.
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post #73 of 297
9/19/09 at 10:26am
I hope someone leaves you in the sun, horrid.
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post #74 of 297
9/20/09 at 8:02am
Being half Irish I doubt I'd outlast the lizard.
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post #75 of 297
9/22/09 at 5:54pm
Haha! You guys are great.
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post #76 of 297
9/23/09 at 6:55pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2058/...NESDAY-21.html

The newest. A pretty quick one this time. Thanks for reading, folks.
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post #77 of 297
9/24/09 at 2:22am
Swap jelly beans for salted cashews, and you are living my dream.
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post #78 of 297
9/30/09 at 7:41pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2065/...NESDAY-22.html

The newest. Enjoy!
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post #79 of 297
9/30/09 at 11:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by 88 Inches View Post

The newest. Enjoy!

But in moderation.
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post #80 of 297
10/7/09 at 6:42pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2071/...D-library.html

The newest. This one's about... MOVIES. *gasp!*
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post #81 of 297
10/7/09 at 7:25pm
I'm following the same route of not focusing on having a collection but more on keeping movies I will watch again.

Never, EVER feel embarrassed about owning a Streisand movie
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post #82 of 297
10/21/09 at 4:42pm
http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2088/...039s-Case.html

Enjoy, folks!
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post #83 of 297
10/21/09 at 9:50pm
Nice to have you back after last weeks gashtric bypass. If you're not going to keep him, I'd suggest getting rid of him sooner rather that later. We had a quiet dog, and when we got another louder dog it didn't take too long before the quiet one started copying his more ( I want to say obnoxious, but he's dead, and aside from the barking he was awesome, so I wont) loudmouthed brother.
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post #84 of 297
10/29/09 at 4:29pm
THURSDAY EDITION!! This means I had to take my dog to the vet yesterday for an emergency and the blog didn't happen. Boo! But here you go, folks.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2097/...the-doors.html
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post #85 of 297
10/29/09 at 6:30pm
Have you run into the ones that make you answer a 4 page multiple choice, customer service test, with lots of gray questions and nothing but black and white answers? Those are fun to spend an hour doing knowing that if you get one wrong it probably goes straight to the don't bother looking at this applicant bin.

I'm in kind of an awkward position because I want to switch jobs, but I've asked for 2 weeks off around New Years, so I don't want to switch jobs because getting that time off from a New employer is unlikely, but It's a little uncertain if the store I work at will still be around by then, so I could end up stranded.
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post #86 of 297
11/6/09 at 6:53pm
But... but... it's FRIDAY! Shut up. Here you go anyway. Enjoy!

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2103/...is-Jordan.html
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post #87 of 297
11/8/09 at 9:03pm
Striking work.

It's one thing to hear the stories of six foot deep piles of plastic debris on the windward side of islands, or the 100 million tons worth of "plastic soup" that floats in the Pacific between the USA and Japan, but it's quite something else to witness its direct impact on the ecosystem. This is some of the most effective photography I've ever seen.

It's a strange quirk of the clash of wildlife with industrial age that the albatross parents pick up this flotsam and jetsam believing it to be food. Mass-produced plastic has only been around for less than a century (about three or four albatross generations) and appears to us nothing like what we'd expect an albatross's natural diet to look, smell and feel like. One can only hope evolution breeds this tendency out of the population while it can still sustain itself, because there's no way human beings are going to solve it.

Also, out of work + vet bills. Ouch.
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post #88 of 297
11/8/09 at 10:06pm
Andrea, whatever became of Barlow?
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post #89 of 297
11/11/09 at 5:45pm
Kept Barlow! He turned out to be a great animal. I was beginning to think of getting another dog anyway, and he luckily showed up at what I now realize is the right time.
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post #90 of 297
11/11/09 at 7:13pm
The newest. Back to another autobiographical one this time. I try to change it up so it's not always the same old blog about the same old stuff. Hope you enjoy.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2108/...39s-Jeans.html
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post #91 of 297
11/11/09 at 7:20pm
Wow. Your autobiographical ones are really fantastic. Your style changes a little when it becomes personal. Love it.
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post #92 of 297
11/11/09 at 7:38pm
Perfectly noble and perfectly human. And perfectly told.
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post #93 of 297
11/15/09 at 9:41pm
You are great at giving things a sort of haunting grace. You write pretty, for someone so into poop.
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post #94 of 297
11/17/09 at 2:42pm
Thanks, guys. Glad there are a handful of people out there enjoying the blogs.

As for poop, imagine my embarrassment yesterday when I told a potential employer when he asked about my writing skills to check out chud.com. I couldn't change the picture or bio fast enough. I'm sure he saw my seaweed crotch and read my profession of love for poop. I figured, fuckit, I'll leave it. What's done is done. But.... crap!!
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post #95 of 297
11/18/09 at 8:58pm
Another one for you beings.

http://chud.com/articles/blogs/2132/...e-Nirvana.html
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post #96 of 297
11/18/09 at 9:35pm
There are enough blogs about films and all that malarky already and I'm not about to go undamning maturity or casting any stones and/or judgements in this filthy glasshouse. Speed Jew and Spartacus Crapped would be splendid names for a boat or WW2 plane. Or maybe a flying boat.
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post #97 of 297
11/18/09 at 10:01pm
Phone scrabble is the light of my toilet life. Dictionaries are for phat twats.
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post #98 of 297
11/18/09 at 10:15pm
Nice, Renn! I forgot to get a screen grab of that fucker!
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post #99 of 297
11/19/09 at 5:03am
I keep meaning to check out the scrabble app on facebook. Thanks for the reminder!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 88 Inches View Post
As for poop, imagine my embarrassment yesterday when I told a potential employer when he asked about my writing skills to check out chud.com. I couldn't change the picture or bio fast enough. I'm sure he saw my seaweed crotch and read my profession of love for poop. I figured, fuckit, I'll leave it. What's done is done. But.... crap!!
This made me giggle. Hope it went well!
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post #100 of 297
11/19/09 at 9:08am
I just checked out the Scrabble app and there's one for Us and Canada and one for the rest of the world. So I'd be forced to play other dirty foreign types like Bucho? NO THANKS.
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