CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Don't mess with polar bears
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Don't mess with polar bears

post #1 of 44
Thread Starter 
The picture and caption say it all ...


Quote:
Polar bear attacks the woman after she swims towards it

Dramatic Pic Of Woman Attacked By Polar Bear (Berlin Zoo)

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Wor..._Being_Raised_
post #2 of 44
post #3 of 44
Quote:
"The woman has proved herself to be careless by jumping into the enclosure," a police spokesperson said.
Thank you Office Unterschtatment.
post #4 of 44
Timothy Treadwell has a lot to answer for.
post #5 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Geoff Foster View Post
Timothy Treadwell has a lot to answer for.
Wellll, we all saw what happened to him. I dunno if I'd jump to follow his lead.
post #6 of 44
May I just say something? Fuck people who jump into zoo enclosures on their own volition. Their asses aren't worth the time or sweat of the rescuers. You jump in, we get a free show n tell from nature.

"Mommy, what's natural selection?"

"Well honey, that's when nature...oh look, freulein dumbass just fed herself to polar bears. There ya go. Now let's go watch the monkeys throw poo poo at each other."
post #7 of 44
Check out the video footage

Poor polar bears, hope they dont get put down or anything. Fat dumb woman would have made a hearty meal.
post #8 of 44
Geeze, Lost fans will stop at nothing to get answers.*




*sorry, best I got.
post #9 of 44
Wow, that woman doesn't even deserve a little bit of sympathy.

Maybe all the pain she is in now will make her seriously reflect on why you shouldn't fuck with polar bears.
post #10 of 44
I wouldn't be too quick to condemn. She could be a woman with a history of mental instability.
post #11 of 44
That makes it better?
post #12 of 44
Well, yeah, I guess Geoff does have a point there.

Stupid is one thing, we can mock stupid freely. But if someone does something incredibly self-destructive because they're mentally ill it changes the tone of the whole thing.
post #13 of 44
True, that would make it much much funnier (I keed).
post #14 of 44
Yeah...bears'll fuck you up. Until proved otherwise, she's a dumbass. However, I look forward to hearing her reasons, no doubt relayed to us by a team of psychologists.
post #15 of 44
I don't care if she has a legit mental issue, fuck her for jumping in there.
post #16 of 44
As long as the bears don't suffer any repurcussions (being put down, having the taste of fraulein linger for a few days, etc) I don't really care. Not like thousands of dollars had to be spent to rescue her, and I got a few hearty laughs out of it.
post #17 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
That makes it better?
Different.
post #18 of 44
And by "different," we all of course mean "way more awesome."
post #19 of 44
post #20 of 44
The woman must have seen some images and wanted a hug. Blame teh internets...

post #21 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Will Kane View Post
I don't care if she has a legit mental issue, fuck her for jumping in there.
I don't think she's mentally handicapped, because she would have scaled that wall with her teeth.
post #22 of 44
It amazing she survived it really.
post #23 of 44
She was supposedly depressed.

I'm convinced she wanted a hug. They are really cute, after all.

Sucks that they were only seconds away from shooting the poor bastards. I usually weigh a human's life as more important than an animal, but in this case, I'll make an exception.
post #24 of 44
post #25 of 44
Soo...she's depressed, got that, fine, whatever. What did she plan on doing in the polar bear pen? You haven't told me why she jumped in there! Unless her motivation was to 'get my face mauled the fuck off', I can't see how depression would lead her to such a stupid, stupid end.
post #26 of 44
Because cutting just doesn't cut it when it comes to getting attention anymore....

But yeah, like Russ said, nothing ill should come to this bear. It was just doing what comes natural.
post #27 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ogre View Post
Winner! Laughing like an idiot at my desk (surrounded by gag anti-motivational posters) as I write this.
post #28 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post


I lolcat'd this photo.



post #29 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlowe's Cat View Post
She was supposedly depressed.

I'm convinced she wanted a hug. They are really cute, after all.
'...it emerged that she is a teacher who had been driven to despair by her failure to find a job'.

'...It really affected her when she lost her job and she just couldn't see any future...'

Tell me - what do you know about depression? Seriously.

Quote:
Sucks that they were only seconds away from shooting the poor bastards. I usually weigh a human's life as more important than an animal, but in this case, I'll make an exception.
Do you practice impersonating a member of the human race or does it come naturally?
post #30 of 44
Quote:
A spokesman for the zoo said Knut, now two years and four months old, would never harm a human.
Reassuring. Presumably the bear gave it's word somehow. The woman should have jumped into the enclosure of a less morally upstanding creature.
post #31 of 44
The woman didn't have mental problems - that was a mix-up. A reporter asked what had happened to her and was told it was a "by-polar disorder".

I'm truly sorry. I will never attempt a joke again.
post #32 of 44
post #33 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mintadon View Post
The woman didn't have mental problems - that was a mix-up. A reporter asked what had happened to her and was told it was a "by-polar disorder".
YES!
post #34 of 44
Seems to me like an attempted suicide by polar bear. Then she got close and her survival instinct kicked in.
post #35 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mintadon View Post
The woman didn't have mental problems - that was a mix-up. A reporter asked what had happened to her and was told it was a "by-polar disorder".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfaRPev8cbA
post #36 of 44
I look at it from the standpoint of the polar bear defending itself moreso than attacking. If I charged into a random person's house they would commence a beatdown as well.

She bears watching, as its really the polar opposite of what a sane person would do.
post #37 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by KConan View Post
She bears watching, as its really the polar opposite of what a sane person would do.
post #38 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mintadon View Post
The woman didn't have mental problems - that was a mix-up. A reporter asked what had happened to her and was told it was a "by-polar disorder".



"This looks like a job for Bi-Polar Bear... but I just cant seem to get out of bed."
post #39 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Hughes View Post
This is from a Garth Ennis comic, right?
What happens next? Do the polar bears rape someone?
post #40 of 44
The Punisher punches a bear in the face to get it riled up, and it ends up whacking a mob guy's head off.
post #41 of 44
God bless Garth Ennis.
post #42 of 44
Godless. Killing. Machine.



And also a bear.
post #43 of 44
With any luck this Punisher story inspired a few of Ennis and Frank Castles emotionally retarded knuckle-dragging fans to actually seek out a bear and punch one just to see what would happen.

I can only hope natural selection worked that way.
post #44 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by neoolong View Post
The Punisher punches a bear in the face to get it riled up, and it ends up whacking a mob guy's head off.
At first I though you were joking. I hope Ennis gets a really good blowjob because of this. Literally, I hope some stunning looking woman walks up to him and says: "You're the guy that had the Punisher punch a polar bear. I am going to blow you." and then do it right there.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Misc. Culture
CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Misc. Culture › Don't mess with polar bears