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Shadowhare to the rescue!

post #1 of 66
Thread Starter 
http://www.wlwt.com/cnn-news/19305002/detail.html

Quote:
CINCINNATI -- Cincinnati police have a new ally in their fight against crime, whether they want it or not.

He calls himself Shadowhare, and he wears a mask and a cape to conceal his true identity. He's Cincinnati's own version of a superhero fighting crime and injustice where he finds it.

"We help enforce the law by doing what we can in legal standards, so we carry handcuffs, pepper spray … all the legal weapons," said Shadowhare. "We will do citizen's arrests. We will intervene on crimes if there is one happening in front of us."

The man behind Shadowhare's mask is 21 years old and from Milford. Those are the only clues to his true identity that he will reveal. Shadowhare said he was abused as a child and grew up in foster homes, perhaps leading him to a life helping others.

"My message to Cincinnati is that there is still hope and all we have to do is stand together," he said.

Shadowhare is not alone in his quest to fight crime. He heads up a group of men -- and one woman -- called the "Allegiance of Heroes." The members communicate with each other in online forums. Among the members are Aclyptico in Pennsylvania, Wall Creeper in Colorado and Master Legend in Florida.

"I've even teamed up with Mr. Extreme in California -- San Diego -- and we were trying to track down a rapist," said Shadowhare.
I'm half-tempted to start a super-villain group just to give these guys something to do on the slow days.
post #2 of 66
Shadowhare? Mr. Extreme? These sound like names from 'The Tick VS Education'.

Let me know when they take on Pigleg.
post #3 of 66
Man, I always wondered what it would be like if costumed heroes really existed. It is not as cool as in my imagination.

This ought to open up a whole can of worms here.
post #4 of 66
So I'm the only one who finds this vaguely disturbing?
post #5 of 66
Somebody's gonna get shot, mark my words.
post #6 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
Somebody's gonna get shot, mark my words.
Yeah, I'm expecting a real-life Dollar Bill style death.
post #7 of 66
I can't stop laughing.

The fat guy with what looks like a bumble-bee outfit looks extra-hilarious and creepy at the same time.

I can't wait to hear these guys "origin" stories.
post #8 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
Somebody's gonna get shot, mark my words.
Or maybe just badly beaten. None of the "team" look particularly fit.
post #9 of 66
Thread Starter 
Oh god, that video looks like a bad wrestling federation trying to drum up crowds for their next show.
post #10 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Freeze View Post
Or maybe just badly beaten. None of the "team" look particularly fit.
Andy Samberg seems to know exactly how this will play out:
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Li...o-song/227152/
post #11 of 66
Thread Starter 
post #12 of 66
Meet 'Geist'



Great, we've got a Rorschach wannabe here in Rochester, MN.
post #13 of 66
I love Green Scorpion:

Not so green (Geist has more green), but maybe he recycles and supports Al Gore....

post #14 of 66
You WILL feel dumber after watching this video;


A Q&A with Dark Horizon, Denver's very own supervillain
http://blogs.westword.com/latestword...on_denvers.php

Quote:
WW: Whatever you say. Tell me about your super-secret evil hideout.

DH: I don't have a super-secret hideout. I have a house. And there's nothing secret about it. It just sits in broad daylight. That the beauty of it. I walk among the people who mock me. I live among then and slowly plot my revenge.

WW: Tell me more. Why Denver, for example: Good quality of life? Or does the city breed evil?

DH: The reason I like Denver is its central location. It allows me to go where I need to. And I have found Denver to be a strong area to meet up with other villains, people like the Dark Masturbator.
post #15 of 66
Thread Starter 
The Green Scorpion never wavers in his never-ending quest to find his mop head.
post #16 of 66
Despite their ridiculousness I'm still not any less terrified by the fact we have real life superheroes.
post #17 of 66
Dammit, I suppose this means somewhere, somebody is planning to exlpode a telepathic squid monster in Manhattan, huh?
post #18 of 66
A Twin Cities Village Voice affiliate did a piece on our local league of heroes, which might be where Judas got wind of Geist. It's truly mesmerizing. In a bad way.
post #19 of 66
~Legal Advice~

This page is for offers of legal assistance to the Real-Life

Superhero Community. We have not researched or confirmed the

qualifications of anyone listed here. Please use your own

judgment as to the quality of advice or services provided.



from: "Director M" director_m(at)hotmail(dot)com

I'd like to offer my services to the Canadian portion of your members. I

am a law student specializing in criminal defence. I currently practice for

summary matters, and will be fully licenced for indictable matters in May, 2011.

The Canadian Criminal Code is Federal, meaning it's uniformed across the country,

and thus I can act anywhere in the nation. I work for a student run law firm and

head two teams of criminal defence law students. Currently my trial record is 2-1,

and I have over 40 successful negotiations for reduced sentences, discharges and

withdrawn charges. 80% of Canadian criminal matters are summary matters, and

90% of those are dealt with via negotiation.

While my abilities to give full legal advice are limited, I am permitted to give

legal information and formulate legal stratigies. I can inform your Canadian

members of what is legal, what they need to do to make sure that their actions are

allowed under a "Citizens Arrest", and can help them resolve legal matters which

they may be facing in regards to the criminal system and some of the civil system

regarding various matters.
post #20 of 66
Not only does this guy pretend to be Superman, he also makes believe that he's Matlock.
post #21 of 66
Viral for Kick-Ass
post #22 of 66
Definitely amusing as well as terrifying. But at the same time it's almost not surprising considering the kind of affect the superhero genre has on fanboys.

In an abnormal and frightening way, it almost seems like the next version of the volunteer crime patrol groups like New York's Guardian Angels that started popping up in the late 70s.
post #23 of 66
This is from that "super villain" blog post Q&A. From "entomo" which I'm guessing may be another one of these guys ... but for some reason hates their guts:

Quote:
Wall Creeper believes himself to be the living incarnation of God.
Master Legend is a documented alcoholic who beats women and smokes pot. Master Legend also extorts money from old people and has ripped the government off for 35000 dollars in a property scheme.
Tothian also smokes pot, but his extra curricular activities are at best mediocre.
Ecliptico believes he’s a descendent from a long line of Superheroes and talks to fire… yes fire, the burning kind. He shot his father when he was young and was sent to juvenile hall. Ecliptico also tried out for Who Wants to Be a Superhero. Go figure.
How nice that Zimmer was able to arrange an article to be written for people in Colorado and the “Knightsmen” used it as an opportunity to slander him. Knightsmen=Watchmen, very original as well.
You guys belong in a mental institution.
post #24 of 66
How long until Shadowhare gets his own reality show?
post #25 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spike Marshall View Post
Despite their ridiculousness I'm still not any less terrified by the fact we have real life superheroes.
If this stuff is real (and I hope it isn't) it will die down real quick once one of them gets murdered. Which won't be long.
post #26 of 66
Actually, that (a murder) might have the exact opposite effect.
post #27 of 66
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Actually, that (a murder) might have the exact opposite effect.
Yes, it could band the heroes together in a massive cross-over. Crisis in Infinite Military Surplus Stores.
post #28 of 66
Who is Master Legend?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSxGhD3nIPE

He was also abused by his parents, I'm starting to see a pattern here.
post #29 of 66
I'm more concerned over the fact that 90% of these guys don't look like they could beat the shit out of Lindsay Lohan, let alone a rapist.
post #30 of 66
Just wait until Kick Ass comes out.
post #31 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Justin Clark View Post
I'm more concerned over the fact that 90% of these guys don't look like they could beat the shit out of Linday Lohan, let alone a rapist.
I think the edge they have is that the offenders-in-question probably take one look at them and start laughing histerically. That's all these "superheroes" need to kick them in the nuts hard.
post #32 of 66
This sort of torpedoes any 'games/movies don't have a negative effect' notions I had in the past.
post #33 of 66
I can't be the only one here willing to admit I want to put on a mask and cape then run around, smacking people I decide are evil with a broomstick. I used to think you guys were cool.
post #34 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dan Baker View Post
I can't be the only one here willing to admit I want to put on a mask and cape then run around, smacking people I decide are evil with a broomstick. I used to think you guys were cool.
Go to your room. NOW!

And no dessert for you mister...
post #35 of 66
Shadow Hare's not the hero Cincinnati wanted, but he's the hero Cincinnati deserved...

Oh come on, someone had to say it.

And Dan Baker, don't worry, no one here'll know if you start flipping through the manual.
post #36 of 66
This is just a natural progression from the Amtgard/LARPer's of the world. Bunch of wonky headed dweebs vanish into their fantasy worlds, then try to drag them kicking and screaming into the real world, followed by them angrily pondering why everyone is laughing at them.

And Shadowhare sounds like his balls haven't even dropped yet.
post #37 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Who is Master Legend?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSxGhD3nIPE

He was also abused by his parents, I'm starting to see a pattern here.
The Legend of Master Legend!!! EDIT: Holy Shit, he's from my neck of Orlando.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Clark View Post
This is just a natural progression from the Amtgard/LARPer's of the world. Bunch of wonky headed dweebs vanish into their fantasy worlds, then try to drag them kicking and screaming into the real world, followed by them angrily pondering why everyone is laughing at them.
I'm shocked this hasn't happened sooner.

Reminds me of this Tampa, FL incident: Holy Legal Defense! Batman Fighting Arrest In Court
"They actually didn't let me finish my sushi,'' Nichols said.

And this Joker.

And this B & R sting operation.
post #38 of 66
I eagerly await for the organized beatings of said 'superheroes' to end up on youtube.
post #39 of 66
wait...21 years old and SHadowHare was the best name he could come up with???

*shakes head at the state of geeks today*
post #40 of 66
Holy crap. I notice those videos are all downtown, during the day. I wonder if these guys go into bad neighborhoods like Over-the-Rhine at night, or if they just stick to where its safe.
post #41 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by wydren View Post
I wonder if these guys go into bad neighborhoods like Over-the-Rhine at night, or if they just stick to where its safe.
What do you think? I doubt any of them has ever knowingly been within a mile of an active crime scene.
post #42 of 66
Thread Starter 
One of them did glare menacingly at a jaywalker once.
post #43 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by stelios View Post
What do you think? I doubt any of them has ever knowingly been within a mile of an active crime scene.
I know, I just think it's so goofy. I'm half tempted to paint my face and go mess with them. If you see news reports about Shadowhare battling The Wanker, you guys will know what's up.
post #44 of 66
Master Legend claims he yells at kids buying/using drugs from a distance with his bullhorn.
post #45 of 66
The fact that Denver has a "Superhero" and at least two "super villians" one of which is name the Dark Masturbater is friggen AWESOME. It's like that aweful episode of South Park come to life.
post #46 of 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElCapitanAmerica View Post
Master Legend claims he yells at kids buying/using drugs from a distance with his bullhorn.
Damn. And I thought that the Punisher stabbing guys through the forehead was hardcore.
post #47 of 66
Quote:
"If I have to save someone else in an alley way or if there is someone right now who needed my help, I will rush in and give my life and lay it down on the line I'm not doing this for publicity. I’m doing this for justice -- a justice long since forgotten,” Shadow Hare said.
Words to live by.

Quote:
The masked marvel said he once dislocated his shoulder protecting a woman who was being attacked by a homeless man.
Harcore.

http://www.wlwt.com/news/19329060/detail.html
post #48 of 66
Well, that used to happen to Spider-Man all the time.

As soon as I saw an update to this thread, I half expected a story that he was shot or stabbed.
post #49 of 66
God dammit. My brother is a Star Wars LARPer, and I know it's just a matter of time until he sees this shit.
post #50 of 66
I'm honestly shocked it's taken this long for mentally unhinged people to run around in leotards and go looking to be shot and beaten by criminals personally.

Social Darwinism strikes again kids. It's doing us a big favor.
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