Jersey Should be Pissed. . .

Wait a minute, roadkill? No southern state could have had this?

There's been a few times when I'm driving down to LBI that I worry that my car will breakdown and I'll be stuck in the Pine Barrens at 2am and have to fend for myself...then I quickly realize they keep building Wawa's every 2 miles and the fear subsides.

Poor Jersey. We just can't win.

The local legend in my neck of the woods involved a couple of families that lived deep in the woods on either side of Rt. 70, heading towards Cherry Hill (I think in the area past Lakehurst). Running gag was they'd only come out to scoop up roadkill for good eatin', and whenever Molly Hatchet was playing at Six Flags. For these folks, The Hills Have Eyes was a home movie.

Now, I used to make the jaunt from Jackson to Cherry Hill a couple of times a month when I was single (I'd signed up with a singles network - remind me to tell that story one day), and I can say there were a hell of a lot of woods on either side of the road, and evidence of some serious pockets of humanity residing therein (you'd see a few folks on occasion, or some shacks through the trees). Roadkill consumption by the locals was rumored back then - mostly dead deer, possum, and squirrel. Chances were if you saw a dead deer on the road, it'd be completely gone within an hour, and the DOT would have nothing to do with it.

The creepy story involved a young couple in a Camaro who had a flat tire, and pulled over to the side of the road on Rt. 70. Allegedly, one of the local merchants pulled up to the car, and asked if they needed help. The guy working on the tire said "thanks" but he was almost done and the merchant wished them a safe trip.
Next day, the merchant is driving back down Rt. 70 right past where he met the couple, and sees a bunch of cops investigating what's left of the Camaro - windows were shattered, dents in the door (one was hanging off it's hinges), and bloodstains everywhere (including two blood trails going off into the woods). The bodies of the young couple were NEVER FOUND (OOOOHHHH WHEEEEEEE OOOOOHHHH!!! Cue flash of lightning).

OMG!!! Iggy ate them! Maybe he wanted to break up the monotony of roadkill every day.

Well, Florida's probably got taken up by fighting off giant cockroaches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piney_(...rrens_resident)

Say what you will about Pineys, it's still not as horrifying as Camden.

I've commuted into NJ for years (for school: to Dover; for work: to Little Falls) and I've seen what a semi can do to a deer on route 80. ROBOCOP anyone ("Heeeelp meeee...")? Maybe because NJ is the most densely populated state in the Union, therefore more roads, and more cars, and thusly more roadkill than other states. It could be a statistics thing.

Course, the population thing guarantees (like Rando said) a Dunkin Donuts or convenient store on every corner.

EDIT: Now I'm curious what the survival scenarios are for PA (my home state) and FL (my current state).

I will say it is kind of cool walking through the woods in the Barrens. You do get peaceful, tranquil, moments like LaChance got in Stand By Me with the deer. Also, you might stumble upon a body or two (the Pine Barrens were a good spot for the Mob to dispose of folks back in the day. Even in Jackson, there were stories of dead guys being buried under chicken coops in the local farms by wiseguys).

I gotta side with Ed re: Camden. Give me possum-eatin' hillbillys anyday. For they are my people.

Any NJ Devil sightings, Tim?

I mean, in between your roadkill feasts, of course.

EDIT: I'm predicting the PA survival scenario involved fighting back the crazy New Jersians?

Find any dead Russians?

Darkmite: I'd wager the PA survival advice had to do with zombies, probably around Pittsburgh and Monroeville.

As to the Jersey Devil, as a Piney, every so often, I have to take him for walkies (don't get me started on pooper-scooper laws for cryptids. Frightening). This is after I has me some of Ma's batter-dipped squirrel, though.

Rich: no Russians, but I could've sworn I saw Little Steven driving some hot blonde into the woods. Hope his wife doesn't find out.

I've been scared of South Jersey. As soon as I see a Wawa's, I know I've gone too far and immediately head back north.

Thanks for that. Best laugh of the week.

Good call.

Or how to survive undercover amongst the Amish.

Or getting into wacky, yet tasteless antics while owning a bar in Philly.

Working at Six Flags is pretty much a given - when I was a kid, damn near everyone I went to school with worked there at one point or another.

A couple miles down 537, just past the park, you hit another Piney paradise, New Egypt, heading west towards Burlington County. Back in the day, especially near the New Egypt Flea Market, there were Pineys galore, but it's far more built-up and cleaner now, due to new construction and urban development (I was there recently when my family went to visit my grandparents resting place, Brigadier General William C. Doyle Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Wrightstown, which has to be one of the nicest and most tranquil places I've ever been at). Lots of farms out there, too.