Monster CHOW... My Cryptozoology Mockumentary Blog

Fucking Inosaurs, they always chasin' me for my papers.

I love it. My boss thanks you in advance for the further ruination of my productivity.

teh internetz = Darkmites pwnd!!

or whatever......nice start on the site.

Ah, the Little Bigfoots!!! I tried to join as a wee lad, but was refused because I once attempted to smuggle a baby chupacabra into my kindergarten class. Stupid teacher with her goat-scented perfume. Sigh.

Cool site, Dark! Can we submit our own sightings?

That's pretty great. Your affinity for bizarre creatures great and small has found the perfect vehicle.
The look on that dinosaur's face cracks me up.

That robot video is ten kinds of awesome packed in sheer bliss.

Love the site, MITE. Such a fun little universe you got going on over there with the crypto-scouts and videos. Am I eagerly awaiting more content? You bet Jurassic!

Cool! Sounds like a trip to the Pine Barrens is in order... I have to remember to shoot the Jersey Devil from the left, as it's his best side.

I will need a volunteer as "bait", er, to hold my supplies! Yes! That's what I meant! So, any takers?

I'd be interested! Crypto Scouts Assemble!

Weird NJ magazine has plenty of Jersey Devil illustrations. One of them even by yours truly!

Any chance of covering the mothman?

Great site, Mite.

Love the site MITE. Definitely giggle inducing.

This is cool, fun stuff Darkmite8.

Ah Mite.. I keep meaning to post back in here to talk about the new content but I've been SLACKING OFF on my end. How is the badge situation coming? I've decided to study to be a better Crypto Scout and your site inspired me to pick up two really great books. The first ties into the inaugural Cryptid Compendium entry, and I think the title really speaks for itself:


A hilarious little auto-biogparody from the blurry one himself. I wish I had a working scanner to show some of the prime bits of greatness from it, but will have to settle for what I could find on google search, which isn't the best but gives a good example of what the book is like.



Along with that I picked up a slick hardcover book titled BEASTS! It's actually the 2nd book of a collection in which ninety artists contribute artwork to a bestiary of elusive creatures from historical record and myth, with an included write-up about said creatures. The book kicks off with a really fantastic historical introduction to Cryptozoology by Loren Coleman, and examples of creatures in the book include the Basilisk, Chupacabras, frost giants, the Jersey Devil, mermaids, the Mothman, spring-heeled jack, wendigo and more. It's really an amazing thing to check out, I'm hoping to pick up the first volume ASAP.

Examples:





Everyone needs to check that book out. Oh yeah, and loving all the CHOW content man, keep it coming!

That video of MegaCock reminded me not only of the obvious Sasquatch recording, but for some reason the alien footage from Signs. I mean that in the best way possible! The whole chicken-pun laden last paragraph of that article had me in stitches, too. Werefowl have been sorely lacking in RPG bestiaries.

And wait, are we cock-a-doodling Fowlociraptor badges or something? Confirmation of your earning one for the amazing discovery?

Y'know, I'm sure it was intentional cause I'm really slow in the head today.. but the whole Adventurers Club lead-in on that article totally tricked me for a minute.

By that I mean (and this just proves how tired and zombie-like in thought process I am today) I actually looked at the Circus Circus photo first, thought to myself "A strip club with a circus theme?".. then started clicking all the links to the Adventurers Club information and reading up on it quite a bit, went BACK to CHOW and started reading the rest of the article under the newly presumed impression it was another Disney-esque establishment.

The Strong Man works at the door? Neat! Rings, contortionists, trapeze artists. Wierd club. Duo acts, hah now I'm imaginging it's a strip club again! ... wait.. wait just a second. Aww man, I'm an idiot.

Reread from scratch and giggled the whole way through. I'm really digging all the links sprinkled throughout these articles (didn't know there was a crazy man breeding "Unicorns" out there).. hell, apparently there's a Fiji Mermaid that was 'found' in Banff.. I was there a week ago! All the sights I've been missing...

How many hits did it take to earn that penny?

Aw damnit Trejo, I thought I was being so fucking clever with my Cryptid paintings. I thought I had a coffee table book in the making. Well, back to painting Cthulu at a Bar-B-Que...

They call me the Dream Crusher, Gabe. Page 139. Sorry you had to find out the hard way.

I fear I'm starting to sound like a broken record in here, but KARAOKEGON and Blowfat-Glowfish entries are *supoib*. Wherever you are from Mite, they have some of the coolest giant creature shit for you to take photos of. I shall have to peel my eyes even further for cryptological creativity in my own neck of the woods.

holy shit, I stumbled in here, and I am overwhelmed by this. Book marked your Monster CHOW blog. Now excuse me while I'll checkout your youtube videos too.

Love the google ads for Garden Gnomes.

I just checked this site out. Raised a few chuckles. Nice work, Trav. But: no pictures of the intrepid monster hunter himself, In de rigeur Indy hat & leather coat?

The lawn gnome segment is especially poignant for me. When I was in college, a few friends & I were discussing "beat ways to die" over lunch. I thought I had everybody beat when I suggested that if you got AIDS from a mosquito bite (which was still a suspected means of transmission at the time, the mid 80's), God had a hit 'n' a half fo' yo ass, and your death by some means was most assured. Plus, you didn't get to indulge in any of the "sinful behavior" usually associated with AIDS transmission (i.e., illicit drug use or sex).

But I was so very, very wrong. My friend Jon told us of a story he'd either read about or heard in a local newspaper or on TV (local being the Mohawk Valley in Central NY State; Utica, Rome, Watertown, etc.). Apparently, an elderly woman went out on her back porch to get something, overbalanced & fell, impaling herself on the pointed hat of one of her several garden gnomes. She apparently hung there for 3 days before her adult daughter, worried because she couldn't get in touch w/ mom, went over to see if she was OK & found her - dead - still hanging from the gnome.

I have no idea if this story is true, but I'd like to think it is, just to prove there's a sense of humor (twisted, sick & ultimately tragic though it may be) in the universe. And I guess it goes to DM8's point about how dangerous these things really are. Maybe this death wasn't really an accident. . . . ?