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E-mails from an asshole: Fat Bitch Won't Ride the Bus

post #1 of 35
Thread Starter 
post #2 of 35
That was fucking hilarious.
post #3 of 35
Jesus, thanks for that link. I can't stop laughing.
post #4 of 35
My Friday is now complete. Thanks for that.
post #5 of 35
Thank you, DM...thank you so much for this. So funny.
post #6 of 35
That's some good stuff....not a Deadwood fan?
post #7 of 35
Gold.
post #8 of 35
That whole site is pure gold. I've got the whole office laughing at it now. So much for getting any work done today.
post #9 of 35
post #10 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brendan View Post
I know what I'm doing this weekend...and before anyone asks, no, I'm not eating kittens. Well, probably not.
post #11 of 35
Well I have a new sig.
post #12 of 35
"Remember, a pet kitten isn't JUST for Christmas...with the right ingredients you should be able to make it stretch for the rest of the week (especially great in sandwiches!!).!"
post #13 of 35
post #14 of 35
Wow. Thanks for this.
post #15 of 35
*removed*
post #16 of 35
http://dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=53

"You just have to stay calm and keep shooting." Best one I've read yet.

Thanks for the link! That gives me entertainment for the rest of the night
post #17 of 35
The comments are just as funny.
post #18 of 35
Thanks for the link Darmite.
post #19 of 35
Thread Starter 
I worked and lived in Exton, PA about 10 years back. Ha.

Operation: Soccer Escort

I love the referral.
post #20 of 35
Well, some people just do not like confinement. I am a bit claustropobic so I can sort of understand where she is coming from, though i have beeb working to get past my own confinement phobia. I have to say though, I did once ride in the trunk of a car and it is not THAT bad

Edit: I do not know if this is real ... Can you even get deadwood in the iTunes store? If he did have it on the iPod though that's a great way to pass time on a busride
post #21 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Kate View Post
Well, some people just do not like confinement. I am a bit claustropobic so I can sort of understand where she is coming from, though i have beeb working to get past my own confinement phobia. I have to say though, I did once ride in the trunk of a car and it is not THAT bad

Edit: I do not know if this is real ... Can you even get deadwood in the iTunes store? If he did have it on the iPod though that's a great way to pass time on a busride
...Jesus Christ.
post #22 of 35
Fucking great. This guy has the perfect timing. I LOL when he asked her for the sign.
post #23 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
I worked and lived in Exton, PA about 10 years back. Ha.

Operation: Soccer Escort

I love the referral.
And, honestly, you'd think a Main Line soccer mom would kill to have an exclusive mercenary driver/bodyguard like Mike Partlow on the case. All he'd have to do is add a Tiffany keychain to the Suburban.
post #24 of 35
Thread Starter 
Golden...

Deer Hunter
post #25 of 35
"What about that thing that Arnold used in Predator? Didn't he just take grenade launcher rounds and tie them to an arrow? Try that."

Awesome.
post #26 of 35
"Why won't you kill the cat? Just pretend it is a deer." Priceless!
post #27 of 35
Maybe this isn't related to the topic, but it does have massive fuckery with online classifieds.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/649331801.html
post #28 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by DARKMITE8 View Post
Golden...

Deer Hunter
That was totally written by the same person. Either that or some hunter happened to be talking some other guy playing a joke on him and they coincidentally have identical repeated punctuation patterns, sentence structure and syntax.

Or I'm missing the joke.
post #29 of 35
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Cordo View Post
Or I'm missing the joke.
Yup.

http://dontevenreply.com/faq.php

Frequently Asked Questions

What is this?
This is a website.

The name for this website sucks. What the fuck were you thinking?
I know. My bad.

Where do you find these people you fuck with?
Classified ads.

Why don't they just ignore you?
Most of them do. I'd say only 10% of people I write to write back.

What is with all the different names you use?
They are all me, just different e-mail accounts.

HEY! I recognize myself in one of these e-mails, you prick!
No you don't. You're wrong. Go away.

How do you come up with some of the things you write?
Well I try to think of something to write, then I write it.

Why are a lot of these e-mails sexist?
It seems to piss the women off more. I'm not really sexist or racist, but I still find it hilarious.

How can I contact you?
Put up a classified ad, and try to sound like an idiot. I'll find you.

No seriously. I want to give you money.
In that case, john@dontevenreply.com. I'll try to respond, but I do get a lot of e-mails so don't think I am a jerk if I don't.
post #30 of 35
Ah ha! You can't get anything past me! Except, well, this.
post #31 of 35
Just discovered this site today. Holy shit. Gold!
post #32 of 35
This site is indeed a classic, but post #20 in this thread killed me.
post #33 of 35
ahhahaha the fucking trunk of a car Kate what was the story behind that
post #34 of 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jake View Post
ahhahaha the fucking trunk of a car Kate what was the story behind that
Well,

It was like three or four years ago, and I was on walkabout by myself when I met up with some friends. We hung out for a bit and then they were all going to go to a party but it turned out that the car they had didn't have enough room to fit me. I declined to ride on top of someone and they said I could ride in the trunk if I wanted to come. I did, and it wasn't that bad
post #35 of 35
This site is amazing. I laughed so hard at this
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CHUD.com Community › Forums › CULTURE, HUMOR, & FREE FORM › Humor › E-mails from an asshole: Fat Bitch Won't Ride the Bus