Wild Card, Bitches: The Wit and Wisdom of "It's Always Sunny..."

The entire Bear/Twink discussion. 'Nuff said.

DAY MAN! Uh-AHHH-AHHHH!!!!!! ENEMY OF THE NIGHT MAN! Uh-AHHH-AHHHHHH!!!! MASTER OF THE SUN!

"Ya gotta pay the toll to get to this boy's hole."

"Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on little jobbies. "

God I miss Charlie.

Dennis: Spin class. Come on, a bunch of hamsters on a wheel.
Dee: Yeah, I'm gonna ride a bike hard, I'm gonna ride a bike fast, and oh, yeah, I'm not gonna go anywhere.
Dennis: Yeah, and then when I walk out, I'm gonna put a bunch of metal onto a metal bar and lift that metal over and over like a metal jerk.

Mac: "Dude what's with all the chopping?"

Charlie: "I'm chopping all of my action, mostly power."

Genius.

From "Mac and Charlie Die"....

Frank is elated by the concept of pretending a woman is on the other side of the glory hole and is undeterred by Dennis' insistence that it's likely a dude on the other side.

Frank: But you can't see through the wall. So how do you know it's not a girl? I mean, I could just picture a girl. And then...it's good.

... fighter of the night man? champion of the sun?

Quoting Rule #1: if you're going to put quotes in a quote thread make sure you're quoting correctly or don't bother.

....master of karate and friendship for everyone.

Every night you come into my room and pin me down with your strong arms you pin me down and I try to fight you you come inside me you fill me up and I become the night man.

Dennis: I don't get it Dee, there are tons of women in this city, where do they go?
Sweet Dee: They're at velvet rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.
Dennis: Why?
Sweet Dee: Dennis, our bar is south Philly in a scary alley... might as well call it "Rape Bar."

From "Mac and Charlie die"

Dennis reading from their will: "you must name your first born Murphy...because that was Robocops name"

Charlie -

"It's an Alibaba sword!"

Charlie's mail room diatribe fucking kills me every time:

Can we talk about the mail, please Mac? I've been dying to talk about the mail with you all day, okay? "Pepe Silvia," this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day Pepe's mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia, Pepe Silvia. I look in the mail, and this whole box is Pepe Silvia! So I say to myself, "I gotta find this guy!" I gotta go up to his office and put his mail in the guy's goddamn hands! Otherwise, he's never going to get it and he's going to keep coming back down here. So I go up to Pepe's office and what do I find out, Mac? What do I find out?! There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, okay? So I decide, "Oh shit buddy, I gotta dig a little deeper." There's no Pepe Silvia? You gotta be kidding me! I got boxes full of Pepe! Alright. So I start marchin' my way down to Carol in HR and I knock on her door and I say, "Carol! Carol! I gotta talk to you about Pepe." And when I open the door what do I find? There's not a single goddamn desk in that office! There...is...no...Carol in HR. Mac, half the employees in this building have been made up. This office is a goddamn Ghost Town!

Charlie's illiteracy is one of my favorite running gags, especially his notes. "Meet at later bar, night or day sometime."

My favorite bit of Charlie illiteracy comes from the speech he wrote for Dennis in The Gang Runs For Office; "Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I’m hot. What? Taxes they’ll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do." Just remembered how much I love that episode.

Just based on the commercials for the new season the Charile's whole "Kitten Mittens" infomercial should be here.

Okay, Charlie, I'm gonna have to stop you right there. Not only do all of these people exist, but they have been asking for their mail on a daily basis! It's all they're talking about up there!

I've only just started watching this in the last month but already the quotes have been on high rotation. Especially the song in "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass."

Color me another initiate into the fandom, I just watched the first five episodes of seasone one on HULU, and then instantly put the series in my Netflix queue. I love it.

Quick question, do they bleep out the curse words on FX? 'Cause this show has a surprising amount of profanity for a basic cable joint.

Dee: You know what, I gotta be honest with you, I think these supplements are doing a great job on their own, you know what I mean? I got tons of energy, my heart rate's up, things are going great...
Dennis: Absolutely. I feel great too. Look how vascular I am, look at how my veins are poppin'.
Dee: Holy Shit.
Dennis: Yeah, I look good AND I feel good.
Dee: I feel good too apart from the recent bounds of explosive diarrhea.
Dennis: Oh. You've been having diarrhea?
Dee: Oh God, all over the place.
Dennis: Really? Well you know what that is, that's probably your body flushing out all the toxins.
Dee: You think so?
Dennis: I do think so yeah, yeah. I on the other hand have not taken a shit in days.
Dee: Days?
Dennis: Days.
Dee: That doesn't sound good.
Dennis: Oh, no it's good. My body's working at 100% efficiency. Yeah, my body is absorbing every single nutrient and it's not wasting a single thing.
Dee: Your body is taking its job very seriously.
Dennis: My body's doing its job like it's never done it before.

Mac & Charlie Die

The random court guy restating what Charlie said,

"I'm going to rape you so hard the room will stink." Is this correct?

Charlie: Yes

Frank: You're giving all my money to that jerkoff?
Lawyer: You know Mr Reynolds I'm reading what's on the will.
Sweet Dee: Why are you giving all the money to him?
Laywer: I'm not giving any money to anyone. I'm just reading this will.

That whole scene might be my favorite one in Sunny, has me rolling anytime I watch it.

ETA: THIS.

Nightman Cometh:

Charlie: "I will smack your face...off your face!!"

It's Charlie's pent up rage and the fact he's used every other noun with "smack" throughout the episode that makes this line great.

also, in The Gang Solves the North Korea Crisis after Dee does her Rosie Perez impression in front of Mac and Frank, there's like 5 seconds of silence, then Mac slaps down his clipboard with the straightest look on his face and goes "What the hell was that?", its the delivery that gets me rolling every time.

Just finished season two, now three is on top of my Netflix queue. God I love this show.

I've been rewatching them all over the last week- some I've seen three or four times. They never, ever get old. Easily the funniest thing on TV.

Charlie alone will make these worth re-watching. Can't get enough of that guy.

It's funny how shows like this slip past you. There's so much out there that I know I've missed and I'd probably like, but seldom do I let good comedy fall through the cracks. This has been a joy to discover.

I thought my roommate was gonna choke to death when the gang asked the priest if he wanted to revenge-teabag Dennis. Beer-through-the-nose and everything.

One of my favourite little moments is when they do the next top model contest. Not only is Dennis tearing Frank a new one, which is funny on it's own, but Mac's face never fails to crack me up.

Watched "Mac is a Serial Killer" last night. Been a while since I've seen it...holy crap. When they are chasing the waitress and Dee's shoes keep squeeking. Or Charlie and his re-telling of Law and Order episodes. So damned funny. I wish they would do another internet episode.

Charlie - Let me finish my story
Dennis - Charlie, re-telling the plots of Law and Order episodes is not a story

or

Is that Fraggle Rock...Pepper Jack loves Fraggle Rock.

Season 2 is lightning in a bottle. "Mac Bangs Dennis's" Mom is Shakespearean in its plotting.

Love it when Dennis tries to pick up the Napoleon Dynamite grandma.

Dennis: It probably gets lonely though, every once in a while, watching TV out here by yourself....
Mac's Mom: [snorting chuckle]
Dennis: every once in a while you probably want a man, right? Someone to fulfill your desires?
Mac's Mom: oh..... Not interested.
Dennis: Don't fight it Mrs. Mac.. Why don't we go inside and have a little fun?
Mac's Mom: Don't find you attractive.
Dennis:...what?
Mac's Mom: I think you're an ugly man.
Dennis: You think i'm ugly?
Mac's mom: Yeah.
Dennis: I'm not ugly, you're ugly!
Mac's mom: Yeah.

Yeah, the Waitress is awesome.

Not quite a quote, but I love that in "The Gang Gets Invincible" not only is Mark Wahlberg still obscure enough to refer to as the "New Kids on the Block" guy but that Invincible was a really big deal when it was released. For some reason that always makes me laugh.

Also, from "Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack":

Frank: "Oh Deandra, this is whacky! Hey, go download me a hoagie off the internet!"
--
Frank: "Hey guys, check out this cool gown! Really lets your ass breathe!" *spins*
And while the whole gang groans and moans, you can hear Dennis saying "Son of a bitch!" That sneaky line cracks me up every time.
--
Spin Class Instructor: "First of all, I don't think you should even be here if you just had a heart attack, ma'am."
Sweet Dee: "Well maybe you shouldn't dress like a bumbleebee, bitch."
--
And then there's Mac and Charlie doing the "dey bow bow" song.

A single episode could pad out a whole page of a thread. So very good.

Mac and Charlie Die pt 1:

Dee: Charlie open up, we got a dickhole in the bar, I need you to come fill it in

Charlie (to mac):[exhale] ok, I gotta go fill her dickhole bro

Mac's Duster and the Ali Baba Sword also deserve special mention.

Sinbad: Yo punk, wake up punk, yo punk, wake up!
Dennis: What the hell?! [Looks at his stigmatas]
Sinbad: Yeah, you in hell alright. You know what? My name is Sinbad. This is Sinbad's house. When you in Sinbad's house, you my bitch. [Rob Thomas sniff's Dennis's crotch] You know who that is. That's Rob Thomas. From Match box 20. Sing a song. [Rob Thomas opens his mouth] Shut up!
Dennis: Matchbox 20?
Sinbad: Oh. You the man? You going to punk him like that?! Stay back. No, unleash the fury! Get his shoes! [Rob Thomas takes one of Dennis shoes] Beat his testicles! Beat his testicles!

How did I miss this thread? Oh yeah, I was out of the country. Glad it was bumped. this has been my favorite comedy for years. There's nothing like forcing my friends to watch my DVDs (try explaining this show to people, they just don't get it) and then watching their faces light up with laughter.

Season 2 is just fried gold, especially "The Gang Gives Back" ("Terrible. Take a lap.") and "Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Assess". But between Green Man, Charlie the Texas Oil Man, and Day Man (which was my ring tone all of last fall), I can't pick a favorite season anymore.


OMG! How did you miss this show? There was quite the die hard crew keeping each Season's message board threads at the top of the forum. Glad you have come around. Charlie is indeed the man. Everything he does is gold. It took me a little while to warm up to Frank, but he's now my second favorite characters, followed by Dennis, Dee, and Mac.

I don't remember the title of the episode, it's the one with the pub crawl. Charlie explaining what he has in common with his new 13 year old girlfriend:

Charlie: We both love pizza.
13YOG: Pizza!
Charlie: We both think kissing is gross.
Dennis: Wait, what?
Charlie: You know it's all gross and sticky like candy.

The moment in Underage Drinking when Charlie gives his date back to her boyfriend then raises his arms to Alphaville's "Forever Young."

And finally, a couple from "Mac Bang's Dennis's Mom."

Charlie (to Dee): It's not sex I want from you, it's sex I don't want from Dennis."

And my all-time favorite moment, after Charlie's meeting in the office he glances at the desk, picks up the adding machine, and says, "What do you do?"

Did a marathon of Season 1 today. I love Dennis' obsession with Rick Astley. Makes me laugh every time.